i dont know if its worth it. while it's awesome to get paid while pinching a loaf, there's so much preparation involved.

1) i go down to a bathroom on the 8th floor that is infrequently used
2) use a clorox wipe (provided in the bathroom) to wipe down toilet seat and that little part in front of the toilet that isn't covered by the toilet seat, and wipe the immediate area of the floor with used clorox wipe with foot (do not pick up contaminated wipe, leave on floor)
3) secure tie by tucking it in between shirt buttons
4) secure id badge
5) unbuckle belt and pants, and tuck shirt upwards underneath itself to keep shirt tails from touching toilet seat
6) pull pants down as you sit, ensuring pants dont touch underside of toilet bowl or the floor
7) while crapping, unbutton cuff and fold sleeve up arm to keep shirt sleeve clean while wiping

when finished, reverse steps, but don't release tie or button sleeve cuff until you have washed your hand(s).

6/2/2008 6:28:10 PM

go to shitter
pull pantsdown
shit
wipe!
pull pants up
wash hands
leave shitter

[Edited on June 2, 2008 at 6:31 PM. Reason : ftdfgf]

6/2/2008 6:31:12 PM

we have two bathrooms at my joint, both single toilet rooms. i play by schoolboy dorm suite rules:

door 1- urine

door 2- poop

one coworker can never figure out why there's piss all over the place in the first room

6/2/2008 6:31:35 PM

i dont.

6/2/2008 6:33:37 PM

When I'm in my Charlotte office, I get my own john, so I don't do all the sanitizing pre-dump

When I'm on the road like now, if its a nice looking bathroom, I usually just wing it

If its shitty, I'll take some precautions

[Edited on June 2, 2008 at 6:34 PM. Reason : x]

6/2/2008 6:33:53 PM

if thems the rules, why not put the seat up in door number 1?

6/2/2008 6:33:59 PM

why would you germ wipe the floor? I think even wiping the seat is dumb but the floor?

6/2/2008 6:36:03 PM

Quote :

"go to shitter pull pantsdown shit wipe! pull pants up wash hands leave shitter"

eww, you don't flush!

6/2/2008 6:36:06 PM

Quote :

"why not put the seat up in door number 1?"

i don't

but no one else gets it

Quote :

"why would you germ wipe the floor? I think even wiping the seat is dumb but the floor?"

for asshats like me that piss 20% on the floor. when you got your shit around your ankles, you don't want to passively Bounty that mess up

[Edited on June 2, 2008 at 6:40 PM. Reason : or BRAWNY Ø]

6/2/2008 6:37:50 PM

Quote :

"I think even wiping the seat is dumb"

thats cuz you're a lady

Guys piss like a Julius Hodge jumpshot

6/2/2008 6:38:41 PM

i just go in the sink. they think the joke is getting old after 3 months, but i dont.

6/2/2008 6:38:47 PM

whoops, I let the janitor flush it for me

he needs presents too

6/2/2008 6:39:14 PM

Quote :

"why would you germ wipe the floor? I think even wiping the seat is dumb but the floor? "

in the event that the belt or part of my pants touches the floor.

6/2/2008 6:39:35 PM

you sound a bit OCD to me, joe

6/2/2008 6:40:46 PM

what if you lost your other arm ?

Then you'd either need an ass wiping slave

or

have to take your shoe off and put the tp between your toes then reach your foot back and wipe that way

6/2/2008 6:41:59 PM

6/2/2008 6:43:27 PM

Quote :

"you sound a bit OCD to me, joe"

orly?

6/2/2008 6:43:48 PM

dude don't leave the wipe on the floor, at least pick it up with a paper towel or something
c'mon now

6/2/2008 6:47:23 PM

he's too good to pick it up, but apparently the janitor isn't!

6/2/2008 6:49:34 PM

wipe toilet
sit
email / play brickbreaker on blackberry
shit
wipe ass
flush
wash hands
tell co-workers how huge and solid my excrement was

6/2/2008 6:51:51 PM

PAGING zxappeal

6/2/2008 6:54:52 PM

I've worked at my job for a year and I've never taken a dump there.

6/2/2008 6:55:24 PM

^^ ha ha YES!

6/2/2008 6:55:40 PM

why do tww guys talk about the work shits so often?

why

6/2/2008 6:56:47 PM

go to fourth floor, mens room
pull pants down
shit( while shitting figure out the mass flow rate of shit and how much i am being paid per inch of poo)
wipe
pull pants up
flush

6/2/2008 6:58:46 PM

^^ it's not just tww guys, my dear Jen.

i once got a call from a friend of mine who I had not talked to in months. one of the first things he told me was about the massive dump he took earlier that morning

6/2/2008 7:00:45 PM

I figure I make $6-8 a week taking dumps at work. it's totally worth it.

6/2/2008 7:02:06 PM

lol me too

6/2/2008 7:02:20 PM

haha awesome. ive never figured how much i make taking a dump

6/2/2008 7:04:00 PM

it pays enough so that i can by more food to ensure that the process continues

6/2/2008 7:11:36 PM

http://www.workpoop.com has a calculator that determines how much you make crapping at work.

6/2/2008 7:13:48 PM

I turn off the lights first.

I like crapping in the dark.

6/2/2008 7:17:42 PM

how do you know when you're done wiping?

6/2/2008 7:20:38 PM

Quote :

" Your annual pay for pooping is $3224 "

AWESOME!!! I will need to shit more at work.

6/2/2008 7:21:14 PM

Throw some TP in the toilet so the turds don't splash everywhere

pop a squat

wipe ass, flush

...

profit


*and sometimes see how many people are now moving away from you at the sinks

6/2/2008 7:23:14 PM

Your annual pay for pooping is $5079.36

badass

6/2/2008 7:25:36 PM

Taking a dump at work is one of the things I do that helps make the day go by faster...

6/2/2008 7:26:20 PM

slam the toilet seat down
sneeze
bend over
spray shit all over the wall and back of the toilet.
wipe my ass
don't flush

6/2/2008 7:34:11 PM

did you honestly want to know this? i think not.

6/2/2008 8:05:40 PM

Quote :

"go to shitter pull pantsdown shit wipe! pull pants up wash hands leave shitter"

6/2/2008 8:07:43 PM

Quote :

"Your annual pay for pooping is $5079.36"

hilarious.

6/2/2008 8:07:59 PM

man going into random gas stations to take a dump while on a road trip is the worst

I swear somebody lit a firecracker in the toilet after they took a huge dump at a 76

6/2/2008 8:13:33 PM

i try to time my bowels so im at home when i have to go

6/2/2008 8:16:29 PM

gross. no pooping in public places at all unless it is an emergency.

6/2/2008 8:18:46 PM

^pretty much my rule as well

6/2/2008 8:20:00 PM

1) awkward, pained walk to bathroom as i try to hold it in
2) splatter blast depth charge of horror
3) cleanup
4) smirk as someone walks into the cloud o' doom as i exit [OPTIONAL STEP]

6/2/2008 8:22:15 PM

^Don't forget whipping up all your hair (From your head) left all over the floor.

6/2/2008 8:26:56 PM

I only get $975 a year for pooping

6/2/2008 8:37:16 PM

Quote :

"Your annual pay for pooping is $1560"

6/2/2008 8:39:50 PM

I shit and shower at the Gym to cut down on my utility bills

Also, protip for shitting at the Gym

Weigh in first
Shit
then work out
Shower
Dry Off
Weigh in again

you'll lose an extra pound pending your shit...never shit after working out...makes for one hell of sweaty mess, also if people see you come out of the shitter and you're pouring with sweat....yeah...

6/2/2008 8:42:46 PM