How long do you have to be separated to be divorced in the State of North Carolina?

6/21/2008 10:02:12 PM

one year

6/21/2008 10:04:32 PM

how does divorce work?

6/21/2008 10:05:21 PM

from what i remember, you have to have a legally binding separation agreement and then you can file for divorce on the one year anniversary

lots of people dont even ever divorce legally (meaning they are still married) - this counts triple for older people who dont plan on remarrying

6/21/2008 10:06:39 PM

6/21/2008 10:06:40 PM

thanks jackleg,

why the 1 year wait? is that like a buffer to make sure you really want to do it?

6/21/2008 10:08:38 PM

Thanks!

6/21/2008 10:08:52 PM

Quote :

"you have to have a legally binding separation agreement and then you can file for divorce on the one year anniversary"

you don't have to file anything, basically just live apart with the intent of getting a divorce

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:10 PM. Reason : &]

6/21/2008 10:09:52 PM

so if i was married and lived in a house with my wife, and i wanted to divorce her, one of us (she) would move her shit out and go back to her parents, and after a year, we could sign divorce papers and then legally we're good to go our own ways? (me to a happy marriage, her to hell)

6/21/2008 10:12:07 PM

pretty much; as long as it's a mutual dissolution

6/21/2008 10:13:51 PM

whats stopping you from lying and saying "oh we stopped living together a year ago yesterday..." when you've been separated a week

6/21/2008 10:14:47 PM

the separation agreement that i know exists, hold on and i can confirm from a divorced number of people

6/21/2008 10:15:39 PM

man divorce is complicated

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:16 PM. Reason : wtf]

6/21/2008 10:15:44 PM

Quote :

"the separation agreement that i know exists"

you're prolly thinking of something called a "divorce from bed and board"

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:18 PM. Reason : which isn't actually a divorce]

6/21/2008 10:17:13 PM

there is a legally binding thing called a separation agreement

there is no "move out and divorce in a year"

the agreement spells out kinda whats going on, who has rights to what, protects both sides from each other. if one party refuses to sign, they can be brought into court and forced

then that plays out for a year, then if they dont get back together divorce papers are filed and its over

thing is, lots of people get back together, so its also a way to not back up the system with people divorcing every week

6/21/2008 10:18:40 PM

man i hope i marry the right person, i'd hate to waste time with all this shit.

6/21/2008 10:20:07 PM

three cheers for prenups

6/21/2008 10:20:43 PM

its not really a waste of time, its a lot smarter in my opinion than just making a snap decision and moving away. yes, people can still do that, but there's that legal one year buffer that allows for resolution and civility in the matter.

and i know this shit for fact, sorry fkyljapan i <3 u but im right 100% here

6/21/2008 10:21:57 PM

haha, go to town buddy

6/21/2008 10:23:33 PM

oh man

have fun dealing with family law

6/21/2008 10:24:42 PM

Quote :

"one of us (she) would move her shit out and go back to her parents, and after a year, we could sign divorce papers and then legally we're good to go our own ways?"

except she's gonna take half or more of your shit. ask my dad.

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:26 PM. Reason : leg is right, my folks had to go sign papers twice, exactly a year apart]

6/21/2008 10:24:44 PM

but who will i go to town with, i am separated

6/21/2008 10:25:08 PM

Quote :

"have fun dealing with family law"

reminds me, this could totally vary from state to state. just like car inspections and license renewals.

6/21/2008 10:26:08 PM

dnl prolly needs a ride to food lion

6/21/2008 10:26:56 PM

story?

6/21/2008 10:27:30 PM

i watch andy griffith when i can, and i like the way they court each other. so, no, no, no, no i will not take dnl to town

6/21/2008 10:28:27 PM

^^he wrecked his car

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:29 PM. Reason : ^haha, gg]

6/21/2008 10:28:31 PM

too much wine?

6/21/2008 10:29:13 PM

i feel like thats not the story the poster was looking for

but i have stupid stories too, if anyone cares to hear

6/21/2008 10:29:48 PM

Quote :

"except she's gonna take half or more of your shit. ask my dad. "

you can't really complain about her taking half of what you acquired together (which is not necessarily the same thing as "acquired while married"). that's completely fair. it's when she gets awarded stuff she doesn't really deserve, especially alimony, which is the biggest crock of shit ever in many cases (I can see a case for it in a few cases, like if she never worked and was a full time homemaker and mother, but generally, it's a crock).

also, dealing with emotionally distressed, ridiculous women and scum-of-the-earth lawyers will make you want to gouge your eyes out.

oh, and prepare to get completely fucked hard if you have children.



and yes, perg, it does vary a good bit from state to state. from what i've seen and gathered, it ranges from shitty to utterly ridiculous, and varies by the means in which these ultimate outcomes are accomplished.

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:31 PM. Reason : asfdaasdfa]

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:32 PM. Reason : ]

6/21/2008 10:30:07 PM

do tell, mr legg, do tell...

6/21/2008 10:30:30 PM

we (i) bought a 42'' plasma tv about a month ago, i told her she could have that if i could keep everything else that i actually own.... she bit.


i think that's fair, i don't watch much tv anyways.

6/21/2008 10:33:41 PM

if something as trivial as a TV is the biggest thing you have to deal with in a divorce, you have nothing to worry about.

my dad has to pay my mom $2000/month from now until eternity.



i don't see why 2 adults can't be reasonable and fair with each other instead of trying to fuck each other over and be as difficult and spiteful as possible. I was extremely hard-nosed when I had to go through family law shit, but I also endeavored to be as fair and reasonable as I could. I got basically everything I asked for, and she pretty much got crushed, partially as a result of being ridiculous, difficult, spiteful, self-centered, and just generally completely unreasonable.

I mean, I still got a raw deal by any legitimate standard (both financially and in terms of custody/visitation, but especially financially), but for a dude in family court who makes more money than the woman, I came out good, relatively speaking. The judge sided with me on EVERY contested issue, and I pretty much got all I asked for in mediation. Both my lawyer and the mediator said "No, this is not right morally or ethically, but it is the way things work legally, and if you don't compromise, you're going to come out worse in the long run." I ended up pretty much playing a game of chicken with the other side, and they tucked and ran first, mostly bacause of the asskicking they got in court the first time due to their own absurdity (I think they were afraid to take it back before the judge again, so they caved). My lawyer and the mediator both said that it would be inconceivable for me to get a less shitty deal than I did.

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:50 PM. Reason : asfdasd]

6/21/2008 10:39:39 PM

^

sorry to hear that

6/21/2008 10:40:19 PM

basically, do what's right no matter what stupid bullshit she and her lawyer pull, and if your lawyer suggests otherwise, either put him in his place or find a new one.

that said, stand your ground, and don't be afraid to attack her savagely in court at every single opportunity you can find or create if she wants to fuck around and play hardball with you.

***and if you can call her lawyer out on being a slimeball, disingenuous crook in front of the judge so badly that the judge basically tells him to shut the fuck up, that helps.

oh, and if you're lucky, you might even get a good laugh out of the fuckhead lawyer in question's house burning to the ground about a year later, probably from someone else who got pissed over his bullshit.

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 10:58 PM. Reason : asfdasd]

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 11:01 PM. Reason : asdfasdf]

[Edited on June 21, 2008 at 11:01 PM. Reason : hopefully she'll act like a big girl, hire a decent lawyer, and none of this shit will happen.]

6/21/2008 10:56:24 PM

You do not need a separation agreement. You just have to live seperately for 1 year prior to filing for disolution of marriage. Sure, you could lie and say you have lived apart for a year, but you would be perjuring yourself in a court of law, and I would avoid that.

Typically, there is a separation agreement, although it IS NOT necessary if you guys are in agreement on how everything will be split. Basically, a separation agreement spells out how you agreed to divide all assets, and any custody issues in regards to children, child support, temporary spousal support, and alimony.

If you can't agree on any of these issues, the court will order you to mediaton. Mediation is a joke. You basically pay a third party attorney $250 and hour (split between you and your ex) and they act as the mediator. You would think that both parties and their respective attorneys would all be gathered around a conference room table trying to come to an agreement. Wrong. Basically, you sit in a conference room with your attorney (at $300 an hour + your half of the medation fee, $125 an hour) and pass proposals to your ex and their attorney via the mediator. So, for $425 an hour, you get to argue over who keeps what, how much things are worth, etc. For instance, my ex claimed that all the items in our home which she was keeping (absolutely everything, from bath towels to electronics to china and such, furniture) was worth $4200. Yeah, right. I valued it at $30000. However, she valued our lifetime rights football seats at $24,000. We have 4 seats, which paid in full are $6000, and are only half paid for, so essentially they have $3000 in equity. So, you get to argue over these things, through the mediator passing notes, for $425 an hour.

Also, get this, she wanted HALF of my priority points. Just to be a bitch. She hated going to games.

North Carolina also has a law called "Criminal Conversation". It is not a criminal charge however, but rather a civil charge. Basically, even if you are separated, up until the date that you are officially divorced, your ex can sue anyone you have sex with (whether they know you are married or not) for financial compensation. No shit. Not making this up. Read about it:
http://www.carolinafamilylaw.com/criminal_conversation.html

Divorce is a bitch. I'm out of pocket $75,000 cash in legal fees in 2 years. I'm fighting for custody of my kids, or I'd just walk the fuck away from it.

6/21/2008 11:08:47 PM