but were not. Maybe you have an understanding boss, maybe no one ever found out about your dirty deeds.

List them here. I want to know what kinda of shit you people get away with.


In my case, on Monday I was supposed to be at work at 8am. I didn't get out of bed till 3:00pm. I woke up to 8 missed calls from my boss. I never called him back. I just showed up the next day and told him that I was tired and couldn't get out of bed the previous day.

2/26/2009 3:04:13 PM

^damn, mcdonalds is getting slack these days

2/26/2009 3:05:04 PM

called in sick, got super fucking drunk, dropped by work for the hell of it

2/26/2009 3:05:12 PM

I've gotten black out drunk before and don't remember closing up or how I got home.

But the money was always right and nothing was missing...so I guess maybe I shouldn't have gotten fired??

2/26/2009 3:06:24 PM

Getting stoned during every lunch break

2/26/2009 3:08:39 PM

i worked at quinzo's when i was 15/16 with a few buds...we used to let friends come behind the counter and make their own subs when we were closing

2/26/2009 3:12:55 PM

2/26/2009 3:13:49 PM

The Internet.

2/26/2009 3:14:56 PM

Quote :

""

2/26/2009 3:15:11 PM

Quote :

""

2/26/2009 3:16:00 PM

my list is big

I'll go with a couple juicy ones first



I was pissed about being sent to look at a horse farm in buttfuck, tennessee...the firm likes to make all these little investments in hopes one will pan out; they rarely do...it was like a 6 hour drive and shitty weather out

so i got to asheville and said fuck it...book a suite at the Grove Park and had a 110 dollar room service lunch while I waited out the storm

made it to the farm and back with no more excitement and kinda forgot about it

Next week I get an email with my expense reports copy and pasted with a note saying..."Next time maybe try the Marriot





We were hosting a cocktail party for some of our higher profile investors and I had a few too many

There was this very fat asian guy there and I kept calling him E. Honda

He didn't get it, neither did most of the other older people, so that wasn't a big deal

but when I lined up across from him and got in a sumo stance and started slapping my thighs, it was

2/26/2009 3:23:38 PM

^^ This.

[Edited on February 26, 2009 at 3:24 PM. Reason : .]

2/26/2009 3:24:27 PM

^^ Haha at E. Honda, but that's still pretty messed up.

2/26/2009 3:26:03 PM

TWW


and overall laziness.

2/26/2009 3:37:01 PM

At my last job, a doctor was complaining about his printing being all out of whack for months. I was at a stage in my career where I was pretty much the guru for resolving anything software-related, technical in nature, or database-related. So my boss drops this customer relations toxic bomb on my desk and asked me to work my magic; because several Vice Presidents had been contacted about this issue and it was becoming a contractual nightmare.

However, I refused to provide free IT help to some douchebag doctor when he had a perfectly good IT staff on call. This doctor didn't want to pay the IT staff to fix the problem, and instead constantly bitched our software company out in hopes of getting us to fix it. Knowing this, and just to spite this gigantic douchebag of a doctor, I called the IT staff myself and asked them to come in and fix the printing issue.

A week later after everything was fixed, I was asked to join a conference call with my boss and this doctor. The doctor basically accused me of being "big brother" and covertly forcing him into paying his IT staff to fix the issue. This was exactly what I did and I had no regrets and made that pretty clear. My boss apologized on the conference call, but since in the contract it clearly states that each client must have an IT staff on call to fix non-application related issues, the doctor had to eat the bill. After getting off the call, my boss thanked me for resolving all of their issues and sticking it to the doctor. Basically, even though what I did was technically unethical, I only did it because of the doctor's lack of ethics, and it resulted in the doctor accidentally admitting that he was trying to get free IT work done on his server all along. This made upper management very happy, because they then had evidence to use as leverage in their re-writing of the contract with said doctor.

2/26/2009 3:53:23 PM

that wasn't unethical, it was the proper action of communicating the problem to the proper group.

now he should have known better but most specialists tend to be a little dim in areas outside their purview

2/26/2009 3:56:03 PM

I'm not posting them

2/26/2009 4:02:38 PM

Quote :

"now he should have known better but most specialists tend to be a little dim in areas outside their purview"

you're damn right about that. jesus, i see shit everyday that would scare most people.

2/26/2009 4:05:05 PM

According to my manager, I did not have the right to call their third-party IT staff (whose number was not provided to our company, I found it) and request that they to come to the client's office to fix a problem, because I could not provide payment for the service, had no affiliation with the site whatsoever, and could not be held responsible. Basically, I was an imposter playing God. The IT staff basically showed up suddenly and unexpectedly, began working on their system to fix the issue, and then found the doctor and handed him a bill. He must of flipped a lid when the bill was handed to him thinking: "wtf, I didn't call you. Who called you? I'm not paying for this!!" On the call, I pretended as if I was doing the doctor a favor by calling his IT staff for him. LOL, owned.

2/26/2009 4:05:33 PM

lol well in that case true. i would have had them call the dr. first to see if that worked. if not your plan B which worked out nicely for you at least

2/26/2009 4:06:43 PM

The VPs had been trying for months to have someone at the site contact the IT staff. The doctor would not let anyone contact them. That's where me playing Judge and Jury came into play, which is why I was the guru for resolving issues. The issues were always resolved, oh yes.

That was probably the closest I ever came to getting fired, and instead of getting disciplined, I was praised. There were some other things that were worthy of getting fired, but only a hand full of people would even know how to discover it, and most of them didn't care or taught me how to do it in the first place. I'm glad I left that place, lots of power, but not enough $texas.

[Edited on February 26, 2009 at 4:13 PM. Reason : -]

2/26/2009 4:09:48 PM

Is anyone else really turned off by Stimwalt right now?

Not tryna be mean. It's just kind of funny how extremely unattractive you are when you talk about your job. I mean "playing God" and "too much power"? Guru? Dude, you were an IT guy. A great, respectable, awesome job that helps a lot of people...but playing God?

2/26/2009 4:23:21 PM

crashed 3 customers cars in less than 2 years.

2/26/2009 4:25:43 PM

I was working in the cafeteria at a summer camp and spent an afternoon throwing bags of chips into a ceiling fan.

2/26/2009 4:27:11 PM

never mind

[Edited on February 26, 2009 at 4:31 PM. Reason : /]

2/26/2009 4:27:17 PM

worked at a camping store - drank a lot of vodka and woke up drunk felt fine and went in

after about an hour i couldn't stand and passed out on a mountain of toilet paper rolls in the employee's bathroom because i was so hungover (my boss kept knocking on the door but i didn't answer)

i remember we had tons of kool-aid in these tiny grenade things and i chugged one and immediately threw up

it tasted good coming back up too

i finally started feeling better around mid afternoon after they bought me some mcdonalds

2/26/2009 4:33:48 PM

lol at Stimwalt the "guru", "God", and "judge and jury"

obviously the entire company would have crumbled without you

2/26/2009 4:40:38 PM

i worked wednesdays and saturdays, got pissed drunk and either missed work or came in after lunch for a month, boss never said anything but coworkers asked how the hangover was multiple times

2/26/2009 4:43:14 PM

Worked for an electric company a few summers ago. We were installing these big light fixtures on a wall. Instead of waiting till one of them was secured, I kinda balanced it on this ledge......well, it fell off and broke beyond repair. I learned it was very expensive and we had no replacements, but other than that no one really cared.

2/26/2009 4:46:06 PM

Did I forget to mention Supreme Being? Seriously though, I really hated that job. I had to deal with some of the meanest God Complexes I've ever encountered, and that definitely altered my mental state/attitude overtime. It wasn't like that at first. At first I really enjoyed the work and it was really simple IT work. Unfortunately, as time progressed, so did the job, and it's many many responsibilities branched out and became the bane of my existence, which resulted in me dreading going to work everyday and hating pretty much everything about it. Leaving there was the best decision I ever made. I definitely had a niche there, but it was the shittiest niche in the world. Every day I went to work I knew I would be asked to do something I didn't agree with. The company counter-offered my current employer, but I wanted out for my mental health, so I left.

2/26/2009 4:58:32 PM

Quote :

""

although the mistake was made long b4 i arrived, but b/c the file was in my hands when it was discovered and i should've found the mistake while handling it......costing my boss 17k

2/26/2009 5:00:47 PM

going for mountain bike rides

on the clock

2/26/2009 5:04:55 PM

getting high as shit at work

2/26/2009 5:06:06 PM

Quote :

"Is anyone else really turned off by Stimwalt right now?"

I was never turned on by him, but I find his ego laughably disproportionate if that's what you are referring to

2/26/2009 5:06:20 PM

Back in the day, I showed up to work waaaay to hung over, and still a little drunk. This was a $6.50 an hour job. I went to the brake room and passed out for over 4 hours. The GM finally came in and woke me up. His only comment about it was that I slept through my brake and needed to start working.

2/26/2009 5:48:09 PM

I definitely have an ego, but it's not as huge as you probably think. I was having a little fun with that story.

2/26/2009 5:57:46 PM

Quote :

" THE BRAKE ROOM "

2/26/2009 6:02:45 PM

I punched one of my coworkers in the mouth and busted up his lip pretty bad. I got suspended without pay for three days and demoted but wasn't fired.

2/26/2009 6:34:56 PM

"My friend" got really hammered last monday, so when he went to work on Tuesday he just drove the company truck to a secluded spot and took a nap for about 2 hours. Woke up later, had to pull over to the side of the road, threw up... took lunch, then actually started working.

2/26/2009 6:36:54 PM

not coming in or calling

drinking watching football games then going in

not washing my uniform and looking like a straight bum

2/26/2009 6:40:02 PM

I got busted back down to a specialist after 4 days of being a corporal for taking a swing at a lieutenant with a shovel.

They don't really "fire" you in the military.

Guy was a douche, his CO said he would've promoted me if I'd killed him.

2/26/2009 6:47:32 PM

Quote :

""

and many, many blogs

2/26/2009 7:18:35 PM

at least 35,000 of my soon to be 60,000 posts

2/26/2009 7:26:56 PM

Quote :

"I was working in the cafeteria at a summer camp and spent an afternoon throwing bags of chips into a ceiling fan."

ahahahahahahahahahaha

2/26/2009 9:04:19 PM

In college I banged my girlfriend in the backroom while I was the only one manning the store. Mid-bang someone came in, then left a minute later. Went back back and finished the job.

But my boss was actually a nympho herself, so I don't think she would have fired me for it (I think she said she banged her hubby back there once too).

2/26/2009 9:06:14 PM

I, too, Randomly capitalize the First Letter in Certain words.

2/26/2009 9:07:26 PM

I was 16 working at a clothing store alone. I would close the store and go throw the football with my friend and at the end of the day we'd make 0$. Sometimes I would play inside and run into clothes racks (kind of painful). Also traded a few bags of clothes to a friend for a gamecube when he worked somewhere and they just came out (he had to quit, they got suspicious). Also took quarters out of the quarter rolls to buy food. Whenever I got a receipt I'd do a return and keep the cash, the clothes would go missing.

Thats not even including the nasty stuff I did

They eventually went out of business.

2/26/2009 9:11:21 PM

One of my jobs was straight out of Office Space. I'd go days without showing up, come in a couple hours late, take lunch for a couple hours, and then leave an hour early. The time I was actually at work I was usually remoting back home to work on my personal projects. I felt like I should have been fired or at least reprimanded at some point, but it never really happened lulz. If you work in a relatively unstructured environment, it seems that as long as your performance metrics are good and people occassionally see you, they tend to assume you're on site elsewhere when they can't find you

2/26/2009 9:23:28 PM

since noone will read the next post

2/26/2009 9:24:00 PM

set em up


first time evar saying that

2/26/2009 9:25:36 PM