What are some things you thought about the world as a child that you look back on now and laugh?

-It was illegal to use the handicapped stall if you were not handicapped.
-Only things outside of my blanket could be gotten by the monsters as night. Everything under the blanket was safe. My head was somehow exempt from this though.
-Urine filled up in your stomach starting at the top of your genitals. If the level of urine got so high it reached your belly button you would die.

3/18/2009 1:34:44 PM

i used to think that when my parents kissed they were having sex... so one time i told a friend, or a cousin, or somebody that i hated it when my parents had sex in front of me

3/18/2009 1:36:40 PM

the pee one is crazy hahaha

3/18/2009 1:36:43 PM

God is real and cares what I think or do

3/18/2009 1:37:14 PM

if i touched myself i would go blind

3/18/2009 1:37:27 PM

^^ LOL.

i used to take flintstones vitamins and being that they were in the shape of people, i thought they were called 'bite-a-mans'.

3/18/2009 1:38:29 PM

babies come out of women's butts

3/18/2009 1:38:32 PM

i thought "acres" was pronounced "ack-rays"

3/18/2009 1:39:25 PM

cartoons were real as far as I was concerned, thanks "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"!

3/18/2009 1:41:09 PM

I used to go around and say "tummy eggs" instead of "tummy aches"

3/18/2009 1:44:50 PM

i didn't know about reruns. as such, i was always amazed that mister rogers could reenact a whole show so precisely.

3/18/2009 1:47:47 PM

that the CE logo on the back of most goods was from a master company called Copy Everything and only made knockoffs of real goods

idk where the hell i got that one from

3/18/2009 1:48:08 PM

- For a year or two I thought that parts of my body could die from lack of oxygen so I would periodically lift my body out of the bathtub to make sure, for example, my legs wouldn't drown.
- I think I was five when I learned that men can't have babies...Way too old, I know. I remember asking my parents which one of them had me and which one had my brother.

3/18/2009 1:48:14 PM

Quote :

" I was separated from our unit, came across a bunch of Germans asleep a field. Bayonetted every last one of them! Didn't find out 'til later the war had been over for a week. "

3/18/2009 1:49:14 PM

similar to

Quote :

"-Only things outside of my blanket could be gotten by the monsters as night. Everything under the blanket was safe. My head was somehow exempt from this though."

as long as I slept with my teddy bear, no monster or vampires (particularly vampires) could get me.

3/18/2009 1:50:07 PM

I thought if it rained too much, I would float out of my bed, out of my house and down the street into the sewer

3/18/2009 1:50:53 PM

ohh yeah i freaked out if my toes hung over the bed because i thought there was a witch or somethin that would get them. but if they were on the bed it was ok

3/18/2009 1:52:27 PM

-Chipmunks were baby squirrels
-Cats and Dogs were the same species, the cat was the girl and the dog was the boy

3/18/2009 1:52:42 PM

-If you have a dream about somebody then they have the same dream about you.....found out the hard way that isn't the case

3/18/2009 1:55:41 PM

-Black people were less educated and commit more crimes than other races

3/18/2009 1:56:00 PM

if i jumped on the bed, my arm would break

not cause i fell, just because i was jumping

3/18/2009 1:59:41 PM

Quote :

"I thought if it rained too much, I would float out of my bed, out of my house and down the street into the sewer"

ahha i used to think that as well!!

3/18/2009 2:02:10 PM

when i was really young i was wonder woman for halloween. complete with a crown and cape. i was really worried that if it was too windy when i was out trick-or-treating that the cape might make my fly. so i decided that if i did get lifted into the air i would fly to my grandma's house and land on her roof and she would help me get down.

3/18/2009 2:06:20 PM

i used to believe in god LOL

3/18/2009 2:07:07 PM

I thought Vagina was spelled and said, "Bagina."

3/18/2009 2:07:34 PM

Santa and Jesus should hang out.

3/18/2009 2:16:40 PM

^^hahaha same here

3/18/2009 2:16:59 PM

I've been told that I told my neighbor (who was black) that "black people don't eat this food" whenever he asked if he could have some of my candy.

I don't think I actually believed that, I was probably just a greedy little bitch.

I also think my mom made this up.

3/18/2009 2:17:30 PM

lol

who WAS black

3/18/2009 2:22:06 PM

^numbers Wonder Woman doesn't wear a cape...


I used to think that at night when I was sleeping my bed and everything in my house would turn upside down because we were on the underside of the world. Then I thought that everything fell right back to where it was before I woke up.

3/18/2009 2:22:55 PM

i thought play-doe was made of boogers. cause it sure tasted like em

3/18/2009 2:25:16 PM

maybe i wasnt wonder woman then.... just some generic female super hero

3/18/2009 2:28:48 PM

I was bad to mix up similar sounding words, like retired and retarded. So I asked a lot of old people if they were retarded.

3/18/2009 2:32:41 PM

Quote :

"Cats and Dogs were the same species, the cat was the girl and the dog was the boy"

Same with me.

I swear I thought that they were the Florida State Cinnamon Rolls for a while.

3/18/2009 2:51:31 PM

i used to think everyone that liked clemson was a gay redneck

3/18/2009 2:56:05 PM

Quote :

"I was bad to mix up similar sounding words, like retired and retarded."

I always mixed up khaki and tacky. Then I wondered why everyone talked shit about my pants.

3/18/2009 2:58:58 PM

^ haha talk shit about pants. I lol'd

3/18/2009 3:00:05 PM

we were taught that blacks and whites were equal in school......

then the real world started

3/18/2009 3:00:14 PM

I went to college and couldn't believe that people didn't have a library in thier house. (everyone I knew and grew up with had one or some sort of one)

I used to think it was ok to wear pink and red until the fashion police at school called me out in 5th grade

when I was really little - if you swallowed a watermelon seed it would sprout in your tummy.

3/18/2009 3:17:00 PM

I thought most people were basically good. I believed this as recently as 17.

3/18/2009 3:18:41 PM

The ABC store was where teachers went to get school supplies.

later I discovered how right I actually was.

3/18/2009 3:22:28 PM

Quote :

"-Only things outside of my blanket could be gotten by the monsters as night. Everything under the blanket was safe. My head was somehow exempt from this though."

I pretty much believe the exact same thing. I thought that my blanket was magical and that it would protect me from bad things.

--

I believed that it would hurt the feelings of my stuffed animals if I didn't sleep with one of them at night, so I piled all of them in my bed. If one would fall off the bed, I would tell it that I was sorry.

3/18/2009 3:28:12 PM

I remember being afraid termites would destroy our house when I was little.

3/18/2009 3:30:01 PM

i feel like i might have put this on here before, but when writing a capital "E" for like, a long time (until like 2nd grade) i thought that you were supposed to put as many horizontal lines on the vertical lines as could fit (instead of just you know, the normal three)

i also thought my stuffed animals would be mad/jealous if they couldn't all sleep in my bed with me. so i slept with like 50 stuffed animals AND made my bed every morning arranging them in a very meticulous fashion (i didn't want to put animals next to each other that didn't like each other)

i used to think my fox poster on the wall would come to life with rabies and eat me after i saw old yeller, so i had to take it down

i used to think "no outlet" signs said "no quilts" and i always wondered why there would be a prohibition against quilts (i mean this was obviously when i was just learning to read)

3/18/2009 4:37:26 PM

I was told that if you swallow gum it will stay in you for a year, but that isn't true. I was also told that if you have a dream that you are falling off a clif and hit the ground then you will really die.

3/18/2009 4:46:02 PM

i remember thinking my mom and my sister had the biggest boobs ever

3/18/2009 4:51:09 PM

I thought that "objects in mirror are closer than they appear" was a marketing slogan for the company that made car mirrors.

3/18/2009 4:51:25 PM

^ omg! i would always read it and think it needed an exclamation point after it because that is the way it seemed to me too. like "objects in mirror closer than they appear!" ohhh exciting!

3/18/2009 4:53:56 PM

All fluids had water.

I didn't really "believe" this fully, but I wondered how lava, for example, could have water in it. I don't recall what age I was when I fully grasped the concept of a fluid state.

3/18/2009 5:02:53 PM

set em up

3/18/2009 5:04:34 PM