Quote :

"1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are. 3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up. 4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care. 5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement. 6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies. 7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words 'fuck you, ' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition. 8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can." 9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames. 10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD. 11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now, you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear. 12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party. 13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls? 14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball. 15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit. 16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be. 17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy. 18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her. 19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy. 20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about. 22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious. 23. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get. 24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny. 25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny!"

8/22/2009 7:51:19 PM

Shut the fuck up.

8/22/2009 7:52:19 PM

old

8/22/2009 7:57:20 PM

I figured, I still lol'd

8/22/2009 7:57:51 PM

you would

8/22/2009 7:58:31 PM

I mean, it's how I treat all MY girlfriends.

8/22/2009 7:59:44 PM

Fuck you.

Seriously son.

Fuck you.

8/22/2009 8:00:18 PM

oh lawd

fight?

8/22/2009 8:01:28 PM

This shit is fucking terrible. 0/10

8/22/2009 8:01:53 PM

No, all of you sons.

FUCK ALL OF YOU.


But I guess i could try to take on everyone. Just not at once preferably. I might need some recovery time between certain fights as well.

8/22/2009 8:02:20 PM

YOU BET YOUR ASS! SAAB TURBO, I CHALLENGE YOU TO STEP OUT DA PROVERBIAL BAR, SON!!!!

8/22/2009 8:02:29 PM

a drunk girl who fucks you and never calls back is not a gf silly

8/22/2009 8:02:41 PM

They are for that night. They're not all drunk.

8/22/2009 8:03:23 PM

you're right. some of them are just fat and have daddy problems

8/22/2009 8:04:11 PM

I don't fuck fatties.

Quote :

"NO FATTIES"

8/22/2009 8:04:54 PM

everyone has fucked one fatty in their life

8/22/2009 8:05:35 PM

I actually haven't yet by most people's standards. She was by my standards, though. I dunno if that counts.

8/22/2009 8:11:38 PM

nothing sexier than a shallow muscle head

except pretty much anything else

8/22/2009 8:15:12 PM

Hey, I'm a nice guy, I'm just shallow. I'm the first to admit it too.

8/22/2009 8:15:59 PM

Fuck both of you son.

How's that?

8/22/2009 8:17:19 PM

oh i didn't say you were mean

i just said you were a shallow douchebag

i'm the mean one

8/22/2009 8:17:28 PM

it's getting old go pms somewhere else seriously

8/22/2009 8:17:54 PM

Go die bitch. How's that?

I mean that in the sincerest way. Burn in hell you filthy whore.

Do not speak to me like that when I'm saying fuck you son.

8/22/2009 8:18:11 PM

How to treat a lady (turds)

8/22/2009 8:18:40 PM

i'd save you a seat in hell sweetheart but I don't want to listen to you bitch and moan for all eternity on top of being on fire

8/22/2009 8:19:10 PM

Oh, mean girl. I've been an asshole all day for some reason. I mean, why would you call me something that I already know and openly admit to?

[Edited on August 22, 2009 at 8:19 PM. Reason : You're getting trolled.]

8/22/2009 8:19:30 PM

God, yet another person I can't wait to run into IRL son.

^ YOU'VE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT SON. FUCK YOU SON.

8/22/2009 8:20:06 PM

because I felt like it

kind of like how everyone feels the need to call me a bitch, ya know?

larkin feel free to meet me IRL son. because I am even nastier in person and you might actually cry

[Edited on August 22, 2009 at 8:21 PM. Reason : ]

8/22/2009 8:20:40 PM

You're a piece of shit human being, that's all.

Fuck all of you sons.

8/22/2009 8:21:24 PM

If you say so. You didn't come off as a bitch at the tunnel painting.

8/22/2009 8:21:37 PM

seriously? i was bitchiest to you.

i'll have to step it up next time

8/22/2009 8:22:54 PM

^^ I heard that too son, but most people are willing to be crazy online and then they can't do it IRL.

It's harder to walk around and say fuck you to everyone's face. Although I'd certainly be willing to do it if the mood strikes me, I am actually that insane.

8/22/2009 8:23:36 PM

Why were you bitchiest to me? What'd I do to you!!?!?!!?!?

I like arguing with people so, if you were being a bitch to me, I saw it as becoming friends.

Oh and btw:



[Edited on August 22, 2009 at 8:25 PM. Reason : ^ I'd like to see you do it. Bring a video camera and post results.]

8/22/2009 8:24:11 PM

i assure you i have zero problem telling people anything to their face that I say online

8/22/2009 8:24:12 PM

Good son, please do when/if ya see me.

8/22/2009 8:24:53 PM

you're not really worth the time anymore dude seriously

i'm bored

8/22/2009 8:26:04 PM

^ I think you are like those little girls that are mean to boys you like.

[Edited on August 22, 2009 at 8:26 PM. Reason : carat]

8/22/2009 8:26:36 PM

I'm mean to boys I like

its fun to call eachother names

though I'm not someone that would be considered mature

8/22/2009 8:28:06 PM

^^ Nah, she's just another shitbag human being who can't even agree to talk shit if she see's me.

8/22/2009 8:28:15 PM

^^ So, basically, the OP is the description your ideal guy.

[Edited on August 22, 2009 at 8:29 PM. Reason : lolz]

8/22/2009 8:28:57 PM

hahaha wow. if your heart is really set on it i will call you something horrible if you ever feel the need to waste enough of your time to come to my side of town

^^ nah i hate people that fuck with my hair

[Edited on August 22, 2009 at 8:30 PM. Reason : ]

8/22/2009 8:29:37 PM

I love it when girls play with my hair. Even though it's not really there...

8/22/2009 8:33:30 PM

yea you definitely have nothing to play with

8/22/2009 8:34:55 PM

Oh, I got something to play with alright.

8/22/2009 8:35:59 PM

just call her a skank and tell her she has a fat ass.


its been working for me

8/22/2009 8:38:06 PM

Exactly son, they love to be treated like dog shit. Treat them nice and they're gonna get tired of it quick.

8/22/2009 8:38:39 PM

yes

i am so turned on right now

8/22/2009 8:38:53 PM

^

8/22/2009 8:39:48 PM

^^ LO-FUCKING-L

8/22/2009 8:40:29 PM

set em up

8/22/2009 8:40:54 PM