...lose their shit over vampires?

9/25/2009 2:16:29 PM

cause they so sexy

9/25/2009 2:16:46 PM

because bitches are dumb?

9/25/2009 2:17:42 PM

Perhaps it has something to do with the onset of menses and the complexity of emotions that are part and parcel to the experience. Along with the blood comes an understanding of mortality as well as the ability to bear life - this all ties in with the gestalt of the vampire. He has the power to both give life and take it by penetrating virginal skin and sucking out the viscous crimson. Psychologically it all makes sense…









…or maybe they just like broody, pale white dudes like Robert Pattinson.

9/25/2009 2:18:37 PM

They just can't be happy with a real dude, so they gotta make up some shit to dream about.

9/25/2009 2:28:14 PM

I hate that everyone is calling this a new trend. Chicks have been losing their shit over vampires since fucking Bela Lugosi.

9/25/2009 2:29:44 PM

{Let's describe A certain female}
{Let's describe A certain female}
{Let's describe A certain {scratching female fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-fe-female}

BITCH!

[Jay-z]: You know my name and the company I own {*BITCH}
You like my style,and you smell my colonge {*BITCH}
Don't try to act like my track record ain't known {*BITCH}
You probably gotta couple CD's in your home {*BITCH}
Don't make me say it twice you actin' all uptight
Or sididdty like, like, like you ain't a {*Scratching bitch}
I ain't no ballplayer you ain't gon get pregnant and get hit off with paper
You gon' get hit off and slid 'fore the neighbors take off to go off to work
So just take off your shirt
Don't hit me with that church shit {*BITCH}
I got a sister who school me to shit you chickens do trickin' fools gotta
whole Robin Givens crew that i kick it to they be hippin'dudes how you chickens move, I be listenin'to {*BITCH,BITCH,BITCH}
Don't make me say it THRICE you actin'all uptight or sididdty like, like you ain't a {*BITCH}
You ain't no betta,cause you don't be Fuckin rappers you only Fuckin with
Actors you still gettin' Fucked BACKWARDS {*BITCH}
Unless you Fucked a dude on his own merit, and not the way he dribble a ball or draw lyrics your a {SCRATCHING
BITCH,BITCH,BITCH} Blow My-you're A{SCRATCHING BITCH}That's Real
{SCRATCHING BITCH}Chiyeah

{Let's describe A certain female}
{Let's describe A certain female}
{Let's describe A certain {JAY-Z TALKING}SAY JAY-Z WHY YOU GOTTA GO DISRESPECT THE WOMEN FOR HUH?
Sisters get respect, Bitches get what they deserve,
Sisters work hard, Bitches work your nerves,
Sisters hold you down, Bitches hold you up,
Sisters help you progress, Bitches'll slow you up,
Sisters cook up a meal play they role with the kidz, Bitches in the street with they nose in ya biz,
Sisters tell the truth, Bitches tell lies,
Sisters drive cars, Bitches wanna ride
Sisters give up the ass, Bitches give up the ass
Sisters do it slow, Bitches do it fast
Sisters do they dirt outside of where they live, Bitches have niggas all up in your crib,
Sisters tell you quick you betta check ya homie, Bitches don't give a fuck they wanna check for ya homie,
Sisters love Jay cause they know how hov is
I LOVE MY SISTERS I DON'T LOVE NO BITCH
{SCRATCHING BITCH}


BITCH!!!!!!

9/25/2009 2:32:53 PM

vampire chicks are HOT

9/25/2009 2:38:16 PM

Suddenly appear?

9/25/2009 2:39:09 PM

suddenly appear everytime you aree near?

9/25/2009 2:39:30 PM

Since the vampires aren't willing to screw the bitches, the bitches want them 40 times more.

9/25/2009 2:39:41 PM

Just like me
they long to be
bit by you

9/25/2009 2:46:20 PM

someone's been watching Wizards of Waverly Place amirite

9/25/2009 2:49:30 PM

my wife loves her damn vampires. between the twilight series and true blood its driving me crazy....even though the movie and the HBO series is pretty good.

9/25/2009 2:51:30 PM

My wife does, too.

I, for one, would like to see a return to this type of vampire. . .





. . .but it'll never happen. The "new" vampire's out of the coffin for good.

In fairness, though, Vampirella was doing the sexy even back in the '70s.



[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 2:59 PM. Reason : .]

9/25/2009 2:55:05 PM

why do bitches
suddenly appear
every time...
vampires are near?

9/25/2009 4:49:33 PM

HI, MY NAME IS TWILIGHT AND I'M A DRACULA.

9/25/2009 4:50:45 PM

Bitches be shoppin'...

9/25/2009 4:51:07 PM

look at this like religion etc. long as the chick isnt a zealot i can handle it

9/25/2009 4:51:20 PM

Shes married and reads twilight? something wrong with that (unless you married a 14 year old)..

9/27/2009 9:06:25 AM

Quote :

"I hate that everyone is calling this a new trend. Chicks have been losing their shit over vampires since fucking Bela Lugosi."

Reasons bitches lose their shit over vampires:


Dark? Check

Mysterious? Check

Only come out at night, when senses are heightened? Check

Use their mouth to get what they want from you? Check

Overtly sexual? Check




Bitches love vampires because it's like soft-core erotica

9/27/2009 9:43:40 AM

Vampires = rape fantasy

it's pretty obvious

9/27/2009 9:45:16 AM

9/27/2009 9:50:23 AM

9/27/2009 11:12:46 AM

9/27/2009 11:18:14 AM

i have not lost bowel control over blood-sucking beings

9/27/2009 12:23:11 PM

when it comes down to it, women love bloodsucking creeps

9/27/2009 12:24:12 PM

True blood I get - its a cheesy soap. But twilight was written for 12 year old girls. Are these married "professional" reading this stuff and flicking their pink beans over edward?

If men were to read pre teen lit - you would all say it is creepy.

9/27/2009 12:43:37 PM

http://robertisbothered.com/

9/27/2009 12:47:58 PM

it's because we've been glamoured

9/27/2009 12:50:30 PM

9/27/2009 2:41:52 PM

because sometimes living in a fantasy world is more exciting

[Edited on September 27, 2009 at 5:42 PM. Reason : ]

9/27/2009 5:42:07 PM

Because bitches are crazy.

9/27/2009 5:47:14 PM

i'm watching true blood right now

9/27/2009 5:56:34 PM

which episode are you on?

9/27/2009 5:57:11 PM

season 2 number 11 (frenzy)

almost done until it comes back on

9/27/2009 5:58:47 PM

The one where Anna Paquin FDT.

9/27/2009 6:02:08 PM

Weak. Just because it has tits - does not make it "adult".

9/28/2009 5:49:57 PM

what happened to vampires being the bad guys? I like shows where a human character kills a bunch of them, and buffy doesnt count cause that has the new "sexy" vampires in it too.

[Edited on September 28, 2009 at 6:06 PM. Reason : from dusk til dawn was awesome]

9/28/2009 6:05:38 PM

I'm a guy and I like vampires. But that's because I like when bitches bite me.

9/28/2009 6:48:50 PM

9/28/2009 6:50:04 PM

I wish I had a puppet who was my best friend.

9/28/2009 6:50:27 PM

surprise, that Scrubs clip wasn't funny at all. good job by Zach Braff stealing a Mitch Hedberg joke.

that show got waaaaay too much hype for being as funny as Leno.

9/28/2009 6:54:55 PM

I mean, guys lose it over Megan fox and other women like her and a good part of them are fake/plastic. I don't know.

[Edited on September 28, 2009 at 7:00 PM. Reason : and vampires do fuck chicks in the stories. Fuck 'em and then kill 'em.]

9/28/2009 6:59:15 PM

wait, is that the only criteria to being a vampire?

shit, i guess i'm a vampire then

9/28/2009 7:11:21 PM