loudest of the day

12/7/2009 7:17:55 PM

not that i remember

12/7/2009 7:18:43 PM

No

My stomach usually waits until I get into the shower.
And my brain always manages to forget the demonic stench that will ensue. This recollection of the previous day would prevent me from farting.



EVERY DAMN MORNING

[Edited on December 7, 2009 at 7:20 PM. Reason : l]

12/7/2009 7:19:22 PM

I fart then I awake




and immediately regret it

12/7/2009 7:20:04 PM

My ex-wife, bless her heart, had to endure me throwing off my covers, throwing one leg up in the air, and letting forth with a trumpeting fart loud enough to wake the dead. It required tremendous pucker power, a good hard strain, and pulling up one ass cheek to get the right sound.

She would smack the shit out of me. It was worth it.

12/7/2009 7:24:08 PM

you know, it's close enough that the fart may be in fact waking me

excellent point jaybee

12/7/2009 7:24:38 PM

the only time i have been awakened by something from my ass is when i wake up and have to go make diarrhea shit

12/7/2009 7:27:42 PM

I like to cake fart in the morning.

12/7/2009 7:28:06 PM

i wake up every morning with diarrhea shit all over my bed. my sheets have to be burned daily. my mom says it's part of growing up.

12/7/2009 7:30:13 PM

christ.

12/7/2009 7:30:16 PM

^^^^^^ Story of my life...

12/7/2009 7:33:53 PM

Quote :

"My ex-wife, bless her heart, had to endure me throwing off my covers, throwing one leg up in the air, and letting forth with a trumpeting fart loud enough to wake the dead. It required tremendous pucker power, a good hard strain, and pulling up one ass cheek to get the right sound. "

is this why she is your ex?!

12/7/2009 7:34:53 PM

no

12/7/2009 7:50:07 PM

more times than not

12/7/2009 8:20:52 PM

Quote :

"is this why she is your ex?!"

Naw...she's my ex because she done violated the trust. Begged me to come back...but I won't goin' there again.

12/7/2009 9:32:50 PM

actually... no.

12/7/2009 9:46:48 PM

haha my best friend calls it morning thunder

12/7/2009 9:47:54 PM

that is funny as shittt.

12/7/2009 9:48:14 PM

that is funny ass shit

12/7/2009 9:52:08 PM

normally the first fart of the day occurs during the first urination of the day

12/7/2009 10:07:55 PM

i was told once that i farted loudly enough to awaken someone else sleeping in my bed. apparently this was amusing, because the ensuing laughter woke me up.

12/7/2009 10:11:47 PM

on cold days the warmth of the mornfart makes you want to stay in bed

12/8/2009 3:11:16 PM

I know when the bf wakes up with his own personal alarm....

12/8/2009 3:14:45 PM

my FFOTD (first fart of the day) usually waits until i am taking my FPOTD (piss)

12/8/2009 4:37:58 PM

I try to.

Farting is fantastic.

Quote :

"i was told once that i farted loudly enough to awaken someone else sleeping in my bed. apparently this was amusing, because the ensuing laughter woke me up."

I have woken myself up

Repeatedly.

12/8/2009 4:39:04 PM

farting is good for you

12/8/2009 5:11:14 PM

i fart into a jar all day and then huff the farts when i have enough saved up

12/8/2009 5:17:44 PM

Yes.

12/8/2009 5:33:14 PM