Quote :

"Howard Stern sidekick and "Beer League" star Artie Lange was hospitalized this weekend after a suicide attempt at his Hoboken apartment, according to the New York Post. Sources tell the paper the bulbous funnyman stabbed himself nine times, including three deep wounds. A bloodied Lange was discovered by his mother Saturday morning. The 42-year-old has battled addiction in the past and has been absent from Stern's show on Sirius radio for over a month. "

1/7/2010 2:55:36 PM

but he ain't dead yet, yo.

you're doing it wrong.

1/7/2010 2:56:30 PM

sad, but not surprised

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6074606

1/7/2010 2:56:37 PM

that fucking smoking ban done got Artie Lange

1/7/2010 2:56:39 PM

that's some volition to stab yourself 9 times

1/7/2010 2:56:53 PM

that's a strange way to try and kill yourself

he must have really hated himself

1/7/2010 2:57:18 PM

he's certainly no Elliott Smith

1/7/2010 2:57:39 PM

he's a seriously depressed individual.

but as far as I know, he's still alive.

1/7/2010 2:58:14 PM

i still think elliot smith's gf stabbed him

1/7/2010 2:59:01 PM

I know he's still around, but with Artie I feel pretty safe it will happen before this reaches the bottom of Chit Chat

1/7/2010 2:59:34 PM

^ Same as this guy?

1/7/2010 3:02:06 PM

negative. The guy we're talking about actually has talent.

1/7/2010 3:03:06 PM

^ BS. Talented people don't try to off themselves.

1/7/2010 3:04:04 PM

^hahahahahahahahhahaahh

so far, best quote of 2010

1/7/2010 3:04:35 PM

I saw this coming the first time I saw him on TV

1/7/2010 3:05:10 PM

anyone have Artie in their death poll

1/7/2010 3:05:47 PM

Quote :

"i still think elliot smith's gf stabbed him"

of course she did

1/7/2010 3:08:56 PM

^^^^^^^ Pete and Pete!

1/7/2010 3:21:45 PM

even his subconscious is thinking PR

1/7/2010 3:29:56 PM

http://www.howardstern.com

Quote :

"BE WELL, ARTIE Howard revealed that his hand has been forced by a story about Artie's suicide attempt in Page Six ("I was actually hoping it wouldn't come out.") and had to offer his comment: "I don't know what to think. I'm angry about it. I'm sad about it. I'm all over the place emotionally." Howard directed most of his anger at the worm who leaked the details of Artie's condition: "I'm pissed off at the shithead who got paid by – who? Page Six." Howard hoped the story would go away and allow Artie to heal privately: "This is a family matter. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say...just remember who Artie is and what a wonderful guy he is...he's wrestling with some serious stuff...I only wish him well." Howard tried reading the Page Sex item, but stopped after just eight words: "I just feel sick about this. I don't even wanna read it.""

Quote :

"THE STERN SHOW SENDS LOVE TO THE LANGE FAMILY Howard repeated: "I don't want this to sound like a eulogy. Artie's alive, by the way. It was a suicide attempt." Howard added that he was unsure of Artie's future with the show ("I haven't spoken with Artie. Robin has. Tim has...I'm just freaked out. I don't know what to do. I figure if Artie wants to talk to me he'll call me.") and offered one final comment: "My thoughts go to his mother and his sister who I'm sure are in great pain." "

1/7/2010 3:43:03 PM

Quote :

"Artie's alive, by the way. It was a suicide attempt."

1/7/2010 3:47:41 PM

I know Howard has been avoiding talking about why Artie has been out all week, now it makes sense.

1/7/2010 3:49:25 PM

I mean, if you're going to commit suicide that is one helluva hardcore way to go....

1/7/2010 4:08:00 PM

Howard's feeling guilty b/c Artie's drug abuse was show fodder for the longest time, and he would always take him back when he didn't show up, fell asleep, didn't contribute, etc.

1/7/2010 4:12:28 PM

pretty sad stuff

dude is definitely talented

1/7/2010 4:23:49 PM

So there you are, tubby. Look like a bucket of lard on a bad day. You baby gorilla. Why don't you work in a zoo, and stop bothering people? Got a call yesterday from Baskin Robbins. They said that they're down to only five flavors. You're swelling up as I talk to you.

1/7/2010 4:29:15 PM

What took him so long?

1/7/2010 4:30:04 PM

with this

Quote :

"I mean, if you're going to commit suicide that is one helluva hardcore way to go.... "

I will refer you to this

Quote :

"even his subconscious is thinking PR"

1/7/2010 7:30:39 PM

i like artie lange

and hope he finds a way to get his shit together enough to bring the funny

1/11/2010 8:33:25 PM

when's that son of a bitch Patrick Swayze gonna die?

1/11/2010 8:34:07 PM

Quote :

"So there you are, tubby. Look like a bucket of lard on a bad day. You baby gorilla. Why don't you work in a zoo, and stop bothering people? Got a call yesterday from Baskin Robbins. They said that they're down to only five flavors. You're swelling up as I talk to you."

10/10

1/11/2010 9:25:40 PM

Captain Obvious: Artie Lange is one really really fucked up individual.

1/11/2010 9:44:46 PM

yeah... that's what happens when you're really fucking funny and really fucking fat

you're everyone's buddy but none of the chicks really want to fuck you

1/11/2010 9:45:59 PM