So I hit my fiancee last night. Now, I've never hit a girl but she was talking about my father. She said that my father was a drug addict and could never keep a relationship and that I would end up to be just like him. My dad isn't perfect, but he loved me and my mom and my fiancee just kept going at it until I lost it.

It just happened.

My fist reared back and I smashed her right in the nose. Her nose exploded, she screamed and the force of my fist made her bang her head into the wall.

She and I just sat there stunned for a few seconds and then she just freaked out and locked herself in the bathroom. She eventually took off but I haven't heard from the cops yet, so I guess I'm Ok. I've never hit a girl before so, I'm pretty freaked out.

I told my mom what happened and she said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare. But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air. I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby, "Yo Holmes smell you later." I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

1/9/2010 6:23:30 AM

I read the first 2 sentences and then skipped to the bottom to look for the inevitable fresh prince ending.

1/9/2010 6:25:16 AM

Now that's more entertaining than a morning cup of coffee.

1/9/2010 6:26:35 AM

THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR EVERYONE EL NACHO. I GIVE YOU 3 INTERNET DETECTIVE STARS.

1/9/2010 6:28:53 AM

You have to make the story believable if you're going to suck me in.

No man who has never hit a woman before just rears back and punches one in the face.

1/9/2010 7:14:17 AM

thank you for the chuckle sir

1/9/2010 7:18:52 AM

Quote :

"No man who has never hit a woman before just rears back and punches one in the face."

Spoken with the voice of experience?

1/9/2010 7:24:54 AM

Quote :

"No man who has never hit a woman before just rears back and punches one in the face."

so you hit them in the throat for the first time?

1/9/2010 7:33:31 AM

The punch comes after two knuckles to the uterus.

1/9/2010 7:42:23 AM

Did you quit it?

1/9/2010 8:32:29 AM

for what its worth, it was the first time I have seen this gag before, I was hooked until the last paragraph.

1/9/2010 9:01:23 AM

It's okay, you're a user with less than one-thousand posts.

1/9/2010 9:39:52 AM

10/10

1/9/2010 10:29:52 AM

I read the first 2 sentences title and then skipped to the bottom to look for the inevitable fresh prince ending.

1/9/2010 10:46:32 AM

OLD

1/9/2010 10:50:49 AM

I would have skipped to the bottom, but the first paragraph was well written and I wanted to pretend that it was real... The third paragraph was super lame and at that point I gave up.

1/9/2010 11:09:16 AM

at first i was like, OH NO wolfpackgrrr

then i was like yhtba<.]

1/9/2010 11:11:47 AM

This thread is a rerun

1/9/2010 12:53:24 PM

knew it before even opening the thread

Quote :

"5 INTERNET DETECTIVE STARS"

1/9/2010 1:09:37 PM

I knew it before he even posted it!

1/9/2010 1:11:00 PM

1/9/2010 1:26:17 PM

you're no Hakan

1/9/2010 1:36:24 PM

1/9/2010 1:45:22 PM

i hit her too

in the vagina

1/9/2010 1:51:08 PM

Quote :

"I read the first 2 sentences and then skipped to the bottom to look for the inevitable fresh prince ending."

1/9/2010 3:57:52 PM

I believed it the whole way, and just kept getting madder and madder, and getting my posting energies up and shit.

AHA

1/9/2010 4:11:42 PM

message_topic.aspx?topic=553605&page=1#12458683

1/9/2010 4:59:09 PM

im surprised nobody posted the snookie clip sooner

1/9/2010 6:48:39 PM

nice story, bra

just don't put it on a comment card and give it to a flight attendant...

1/9/2010 10:15:11 PM

A+++, would definitely read again.

1/9/2010 10:16:58 PM

Sometimes a woman needs to know when to shut her mouth.

1/9/2010 10:46:44 PM

ahahaha you got me

Every now and then this site gives me the mega lulz. Most of the time I get mere chortles and a few titters, but you sir, get a hearty handshake for that one.

1/10/2010 1:20:59 AM

Quote :

"I smashed her right in the nose. Her nose exploded, she screamed and the force of my fist made her bang her head into the wall."

im playing this out in my head and it really looks cool. did blood go everywhere?

1/10/2010 1:25:11 AM

Totally

1/10/2010 6:22:41 AM

[Edited on January 10, 2010 at 6:44 AM. Reason : FALCON PUNCH]

1/10/2010 6:44:04 AM

But I was at the slopes last night

1/10/2010 6:47:07 AM

In related fake news...

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/domestic_abuse_no_longer_a

1/10/2010 8:40:23 AM