I do NOT recommend this procedure to anyone- unless you are a masochist. In which case I would highly recommend to your dungeon master to pick up a heating unit, some wax, wooden applicators, muslin strips, and to keep them all handy next to the St. Andrew’s Cross in the basement.

Why any man would get a Brazilian Wax job is just beyond comprehension. As men, we get a free pass on the whole ‘being hairy’ thing while women get totally hosed by social mores and folkways. So why not take advantage of that? Plus hairy = masculine. Did some people not get this memo? Who wants to look like you did when you were 12?

I don’t know about everyone else, but I was a late bloomer and went through a lot of pain and humiliation before I finally got the ‘hair down there’. Why the fuck would I get rid of it through even MORE pain and humiliation??

If you are really dead set on “deforestation”, don’t use the Brazilian clearcut and burn technique. Use a good ol’ chainsaw (aka Mach III razor). I mean, Jebus! Squat over a mirror and do it yourself. Or simply find yourself a kinky barber instead.

There are men out there (I know, I’ve chatted with them) who pay good money to be able to shave another man’s junk. I’m sure there’s a chatroom somewhere on the internets dedicated to this particular hirsute pursuit called ”men 4 shaving men” or something. For fuck’s sake Google it.

Back to the instructional video.

The video contained a nude model and a full waxing procedure– from initial hair trimming to the last horrific rip of the muslin strip. It was all deliciously sadistic. I winced in sympathy and clutched a pillow to my abdomen– when I wasn’t giggling uncomfortably.

Oh, that poor, son-of-a-bitch victim model.

We never saw his face, but you sure saw everything else. And he was a HAIRY mo-fo! I couldn’t help wishing he was a bit more of a “show-er”, but under the circumstances, I completely understood. His balls, however, were HUGE and quite dangly. Oh, and the boy had fur-covered tree trunks for thighs.



There is evidently two types of wax that they use to remove your hair. Soft wax is used on the upper pubic hair areas, but the sensitive regions get hard wax. The model in the video did well during the upper removal… but when the hard wax started coming off ‘the boys’…..ouch.

You could see his stomach quivering because he was panting in pain- and when the sadist technician started yanking the hard wax off, his beautiful treetrunk legs would completely jump. That poor fucker! Kyle just kept saying “you KNOW he had to get paid a fuckload in order to do this”.

To top it off, when you are getting waxed, YOU have to help the technician by holding the skin “taut” in the area being waxed. WHA?? Not only are you paying through the nose for pain, you have to help inflict it? No fucking way, my friend. Get a second technician in there to do it. My hands would be too busy gripping the fuck out of the table and holding the wooden spoon in my mouth.

The technician was also pretty much manhandling his stuff– flipping everything this way and that in order to get the ‘wax on- wax off’. By the end, the model’s balls were as red as a baboon’s ass.

And then came the best part of the video. He turned over.

After the front side was done and after a bit of ‘technique review’, the video did a severe jump cut to showing our lovely model on all fours with a Resist-a-Ball under his chest. Kyle and I absolutely roared with laughter at this- it was just so wholly unexpected to see legs spread, this hairy ass open, freshly ripped balls dangling to mid-thigh, all presented like he was in a Colt video.



The fucking wax company even had their own ball brand “the Brazilian Ball”. Evidently this helps get the correct posture for waxing the ass and perineum (aka ‘taint’). Our poor model also had to endure having his ass, crack, and taint waxed. And yes, you have to use the hard wax around the sensitive ‘anus’.

Oh. My. God.

The back side went much quicker than the front side, and the ass cheeks offered vast tracts which could be easily and quickly denuded. Then the technician rubbed lanocaine lotion all over his ass and crack when she was all finished. I think I nearly wet myself laughing at the absurdity of it all. Especially given the fact that to “properly maintain” this look, you would have to go though it all again in like 4 weeks!!

This video absolutely in NO WAY sold me on the idea or the benefits of getting a Male Brazilian Wax.

It may, however, have sold me on getting one of those Resist-a-Balls.

1/20/2010 12:12:12 PM

k

1/20/2010 12:14:46 PM

I realize this thread is about those who have had male brazilian waxing.... which I have not. Hear me out, maybe I can offer some insight.

I am in outside sales, which is currently salary+commission, but will move into straight commission starting at the beginning of July 2010. I have been in this position since July 2009. I have competition from several direct manufacturing sales reps, large distributors, and local distributors. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of each:

Direct Advantages: Immediate knowledge of new technology, no middle man mark up, one shipping bill (paid by manufacturer or buyer of goods), access to larger range of non-commodity items, control inventory, have access to many distributors that can effectively sell their goods which increases market share, and set prices of commodity they manufacture.

Direct disadvantages: Typically have 1-3 sales reps per region (i.e. southeast, mid-atlantic, northeast, etc.) limiting the number of accounts they can successfully manage/cold-call, lack physical customer service or physical technical service available to or affordable for smaller users or altogether, are sometimes not trustworthy because they will go in behind their distributors that sell their commodity to one account in large quantities (i.e. they missed a big account, and have found out about it through a distributor selling their particular product) which leads to the distributor not selling their product anymore, have too many distributors selling the product ultimately driving the set price down through deviations, possibly rely on distributors to actually sell the product, and competition from other direct sources.

Large distributor advantages: have access to other commodities that go hand in hand with other manufacturers (poor example- grocery stores sell milk as well as cereal), get direct pricing, many locations regionally or nationally easing the shipping burden of buyers with multiple locations, personal service either customer or technical, many sales reps that are able to cover a broader territory, access to multiple manufacturers of the same commodity allowing to keep prices in check, service programs that smaller companies can't offer and direct providers can't match in price or value, and experts of many many commodities as opposed to one or a few.

Large distributor disadvantages: smaller local distributors creating price wars (think Michael Scott Paper Co vs Dunder-Mifflin), direct mfg's going in behind and stealing business, limited access to all of the mfg's (you won't find Harris Teeter name brands in Food Lion and visa versa), can't truly set prices because it's based on both supply and demand, territory management, and tough growth prospects in slower economies (this is true for direct as well really)

Local distributor advantages: Typically a good ol' boy setting where the seller and the buyer know each other for years (this does happen at all levels, but mostly at the local level), local folks are right down the street and can be used in emergencies, if the local guy buys at high enough volumes then there is no shipping charge to the end user, and access to both direct mfg's and large distributors.

Local distributor disadvantages: easily beaten in price, array of commodities, array of technology, lack of trained staff, low cash flow, etc etc etc.

This is what I have noticed in my six months, I am sure there are plenty more that need mentioning. The way I am setting myself apart as a sales person is this: I go after the big accounts right now while I am new. The big accounts, if I land them, will take care of me while I am new and building a customer base. The money made off of those allows me to focus free time on smaller accounts that get me higher margins. I build up big accounts, I would like to have 5-10 of these, then get 20-30 medium accounts. If I lose 1 or 2 big accounts, the 20-30 medium accounts keep me afloat while I go after new big accounts. I don't really waste time on small accounts simply because they basically pay for breakfast or something really small.

I will say this, if you can't get a big account in the first 6-8 months (assuming you have cash flow that you can ride this long) you could be in a world of trouble. If you can get one, it will really make going after the others a lot more enjoyable and less stressful. It's simply just very exhausting wasting any time on anything other than big accounts in the very beginning. You work just as hard on the medium sized accounts and see 1/3 to 1/36 of the money in my situation.

If you have any other questions, you can PM me. I hope this helps in the slightest!

1/20/2010 12:15:50 PM

^FUCK YOU

[Edited on January 20, 2010 at 12:16 PM. Reason : ]

1/20/2010 12:16:07 PM

more like

longpost_dr

1/20/2010 12:16:11 PM

yo homes to bel air

1/20/2010 12:16:24 PM

tl;dr

1/20/2010 12:16:29 PM

where is this video

1/20/2010 12:18:27 PM

WORDS

1/20/2010 12:19:33 PM

i shave my balls

1/20/2010 12:24:49 PM

1/20/2010 12:40:11 PM

do not lie

1/20/2010 12:41:30 PM

Quote :

"where do they do this? i'd like to make an appointment."

[Edited on January 20, 2010 at 12:49 PM. Reason : ]]

1/20/2010 12:49:11 PM

do not lie

1/20/2010 1:06:02 PM

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/60317/march-16-2006/frank-vincent

[Edited on January 20, 2010 at 1:09 PM. Reason : .]

1/20/2010 1:08:40 PM

1/20/2010 1:17:12 PM

wut?

1/20/2010 2:01:00 PM

anybody know where i can get one of these?

1/20/2010 5:11:32 PM

come on guys, plz

1/20/2010 5:12:26 PM

let me run over yur nuts with the subbie

1/20/2010 5:22:03 PM

your mom's a fuckin subbie

1/20/2010 5:23:19 PM

i wanna see and ROFL at this video haha

1/20/2010 5:43:23 PM

I'm 'bout crying I'm laughing so hard. gg, sir.

1/20/2010 5:49:08 PM

1/21/2010 7:39:44 AM