is this weekend for me.

entertain me for the last 3 hours of the workday with your best or worst meet the parents stories.

im hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

at least they like to booze.

3/5/2010 2:51:43 PM

my ex's dad told me he'd nail my pecker to the front door if I crossed his daughter the wrong way.

he was ex-CIA, he was serious.

3/5/2010 2:52:31 PM

her whole family was there and we played volleyball in the pool. her dad thought i was a wuss so i decided to spike it... right into her sister's face breaking her nose. FML

3/5/2010 3:00:53 PM

I've never had a bad experience, but at worst the parents were apathetic. That girl was a horrible pick, anyway.

3/5/2010 3:03:25 PM

I realize this thread is about meeting the parents....which I have no expertise in. Hear me out, maybe I can offer some insight.

3/5/2010 3:04:16 PM

girls' parents have always loved me

in high school that was a bad thing cause no HS girl wants a guy her parents approve of

but it's all good these days


don't worry about it, you'll be fine. parents is people too.

3/5/2010 3:08:48 PM

I'll preface this by mentioning that I come from a relatively small, quiet family, and I've never been much of a drinker.

I met the SO's parents at their Sedar meal which is an annual tradition with about 20 people (5 or so of which are kids of different ages, but usually at least 1 baby), plenty of singing and activities, about 8 pets running around which makes the hide the Matzo part of the tradition more intense because you have dogs and cats looking for it too, and lots of Manischewitz in an already dramatic and emotional family.

Needless to say, I haven't found myself that drunk again in a very long time. It was a bit of a culture shock at first, but I love my in-laws to death and am quite happy to be a part of their family and have them as a part of mine.

3/5/2010 3:09:22 PM

I don't have any bad stories. Most parents love me. My old high school girlfriend recently told my mom that she doesn't really like her daughter's current boyfriend and that she always thought we would get back together and get married...it's been 8 fucking years since we dated...let it go!! (although her daughter has turned out to be ridiculously hot after she had a fatty stage in college)

My last girlfriend's mom keeps trying to get me to meet her for coffee when she comes in town to visit her daughter. I think she's trying to convince me to start hanging out with her daughter again.

My current girlfriend's mom friended me on facebook after our 2nd date. I had met her once a month or two before we started dating...so at least I had met her in person before the friending. She constantly comments on photos and makes an occasional wall post.

I think I had one mom that didn't really care for me....but that's because the mom lived in Mississippi and she thought I was keeping her daughter from moving back. She was right...we broke up and she moved back.

[Edited on March 5, 2010 at 3:12 PM. Reason : .]

3/5/2010 3:10:30 PM

JCASHFAN decided that it'd be a fantastic idea to start quoting team america the first time he met my dad - and dropped the f bomb

i was none too happy

3/5/2010 3:10:31 PM

parents love me

[Edited on March 5, 2010 at 3:11 PM. Reason : e ]

3/5/2010 3:10:55 PM

oh this isnt my first time

but it is an important one in this case, though i guess if you get to this point, it usually is...

3/5/2010 3:12:01 PM

I'm polarizing

They love me or hate me

There's no middle ground

3/5/2010 3:12:23 PM

is you or is you not gonna ask her dad if you can ask her to get ringed up

3/5/2010 3:16:21 PM

fuck man, once i met the parents on the second date. that was pretty weird broski.

3/5/2010 3:17:31 PM

I once didn't make it past the first drink

My lip ring may or may not have had something to do with that

3/5/2010 3:17:43 PM

Quote :

"is you or is you not gonna ask her dad if you can ask her to get ringed up"

negative.

maybe if it were this time next year, that would be in the question. we'll see what happens between now and then.

this is just "they're in town and it would be weird as much as they've heard about me in the last 4 months if i did not meet them"

Quote :

"My current girlfriend's mom friended me on facebook after our 2nd date. I had met her once a month or two before we started dating...so at least I had met her in person before the friending. She constantly comments on photos and makes an occasional wall post."

her entire family (mom+dad+2 brothers) is on FB. but i think they are taking the wait and see approach. as am I. they can see most of my profile though, nothing of which im ashamed of, so they've gotten a good chance to e-vet me, plus everything their daughter/sister tells them, which im told is all glowing and positive.

[Edited on March 5, 2010 at 3:24 PM. Reason : .]

3/5/2010 3:20:57 PM

I think people over-dramatize meeting the parents. I once took a girl home for Christmas after we had been dating for only a couple weeks. She was broke and couldn't afford to fly back home to New York and miss a lot of work, and my family was only a couple hours away. I didn't think it was a big deal.

As long as your parents are somewhat chill...then it shouldn't be a big event.

3/5/2010 3:23:27 PM

My freshman year of college this girl took me home with her one weekend. We went out the first(and only) night in town and got really wasted. Went back to her and her folks place and crashed out no problem.

The next morning I wake up and have to shit like crazy. I'm a really deep sleeper and slow to wake up so I didn't notice to large amount of toilet paper already in the toilet. I laid down massive shit mountain on top of the toilet paper wiped with some clean and threw that in there too. Then I flushed....

It seemed as if the shit was gonna flush but then it stalled. There's a backup and no plunger. So I think to myself...."One more flush will probably get the job done." So I flush the toilet which needless to say doesn't get the job done and water and shit start to flow out of the toilet onto the floor.

I wasn't very toilet savvy back then and didn't know to just turn the water off so I did the only thing I could do to keep my feet dry. I hopped into the tub. I accessed the situation for a few minutes as the water and shit flowed freely. I knew I was gonna need some help so I call out.... Well it was still like 7am and her mom was the only one up, so she comes running, sees the mess, and brings towels.

Well I finally get the shit cleaned up, ruining at least 5 of their towels. Then I wash myself in the shower and get out and dressed. Now I hadn't meet the father yet. When I walk out of the bedroom and into the living room the girl is sitting on the arm of her dads recliner with him in the chair. First and only thing he said to me... "Did your shit get a little thick in there?"

I was so fucking embarrassed. I left outta there so fast I forgot a brand new sweater, 50$ cash, and my drivers license.

MEET THE PARENTS.





[Edited on March 5, 2010 at 3:36 PM. Reason : .]

3/5/2010 3:24:56 PM

^

3/5/2010 5:16:43 PM

one time i brought my black girlfriend to meet my racist uncle

it was like guess who's coming to dinner but less funny and more cringe-inducing

3/5/2010 5:19:22 PM

One time I went to this family get-together of my ex-girlfriend's and charmed the hell out of her mother, aunts, and grandma. I'm good with the mothers. You know, if I could date the mothers and have sex with the daughters, then I'd really have something going.

Anyway, I decide to help clean up once the evening is over. I go to throw something away and notice an eclair sitting right at the top of the trashcan. It was inside a napkin and there was only one bite taken out of it. It looked so good. I glanced around the kitchen - no one was around. So I picked it up and took a bite out of the opposite end just as her mother walked back in the kitchen.

Needless to say, I had a lot of explaining to do.

3/5/2010 5:46:42 PM

^^

3/5/2010 5:48:08 PM

my bf's parents are meeting my dad this weekend for the first time.

3/5/2010 6:02:30 PM

Quote :

"I met the SO's parents at their Sedar meal which is an annual tradition with about 20 people (5 or so of which are kids of different ages, but usually at least 1 baby), plenty of singing and activities, about 8 pets running around which makes the hide the Matzo part of the tradition more intense because you have dogs and cats looking for it too, and lots of Manischewitz in an already dramatic and emotional family. Needless to say, I haven't found myself that drunk again in a very long time. It was a bit of a culture shock at first, but I love my in-laws to death and am quite happy to be a part of their family and have them as a part of mine."

I brought a girl to my family seder one year but she said no to wine...my family disaproved of her immediately lol.

i didn't know you were married a jew, you just went up in my book.

3/5/2010 6:11:24 PM

One time I went to eat with this girl's family, and they all licked their plates when they were finished eating, one after the other. I figured they were big on thrift, and it was a good meal, so I started to lick mine too. They all burst into laughter.

3/5/2010 6:17:36 PM

when i lived overseas, i met the GFs parents for the first time over christmas. Wouldn't normally be a problem if it werent for the fact that we were cooped up inside her father's summer cabin for days with his gay partner, her mother, and her sister.

Luckily it turned out to be way less awkward and tense than i expected.

3/5/2010 6:18:27 PM

i went to meet a gf's parents once but she failed to mention that her dad had a sex change, so it really caught me off guard when i met two mom's even though she always talked about her dad.

3/5/2010 6:21:34 PM

my girlfriends parents still aren't sure if i'm the right guy for her. They're overly skeptical of every guy she is with because they want her to make sure before she gets serious. But, they said that if my heart and head is in the right place then they'll have no problem with me

3/5/2010 6:35:05 PM

walked into the house through the front door, her stepdad was drunk as shit laying on the couch with no shirt on watching Andy Griffith. He lumbered up to a sitting position and started hacking, sounding basically like a diesel engine. As I was cautious to approach the guy, he motioned me over with a grunt that sounded like "memano moma mere."

"Sir?" I said, inquisitively, having no idea what he said, but knowing that it was addressed to me specifically.

"MmmraahhhGET THE FUCK OVER HERE!," he said in a loud and booming voice full of gravel and booze.

So I walked up completely ready to probably be attacked by this drunken son of a bitch. He stands up tall, puts his hands on his swollen belly, and utters these words which I will never forget...

"Well at least you're not a goddamn nigger or spic like the last two. Go to the basement and meet her mother, she'll be glad about that too."

...

"Nice to meet you sir," I said awkwardly as I bowed away from the bigoted asshole and glared at my ex with an extreme WTF look on my face. I may or may not have mouthed the words "What the fuck," but the moment seemed so strange that I can't recollect.

She shrugs and smiles and says "That's just Greg being Greg," to which I respond with a very Mackey-like "mmmmmkay."

As we descend the steps into the basement, I notice (read - they're everyfuckingwhere) Elvis pictures. It was Elvis as far as the eyes can see. Velvet Elvi, Plastic Figurine Elvi, Framed Elvi, and even a pool table with each ball featuring a different picture of Elvis. Yes, they even had a gun cabinet with an Elvis rifle in it... and a wall of dinner plates all featuring the beloved King of Rock n Roll.

So I met her Mom, who was watching "I Love New York 53" or whatever the fuck trash tv it was, and she was gracious enough. "I'm glad you're dating Heather," she says to me. She began her next sentence, and I thought it would be something racial again, but she surprised me yet again, "hopefully you can convince her to use the treadmill and get those thighs of hers back down to a normal size."

My response?

"Ahh," followed by a nervous look at my ex, who was, at this point, basically oblivious to our conversation, because she was entranced by the trash tv.

From there, we headed out to the Olive Garden or whatever chain we ate at that night. About a month later, she asks if I want to meet her real Dad. Having never heard a thing about him, I agree. Why not? How bad could it be? So we drove for a little bit, and got into an argument because I made a comment that Josh Groban was a faggot. Apparently that was over the line, but her stepfather thanking me for not being a "nigger" wasn't. *shrug*

We pulled into a housing project, and a guy came out looking sort of like actor Miguel Ferrer, but with a dark, Tommy Chong-like beard. I shook his hand, and he seemed nice enough. He kept saying how nice it was to be free, and as we left, asked both her and I if we had any cash on us. I had ten bucks, she had 3 or 4, so I figured, what the hell, why not. When we got in the car, she revealed to me that he had just been released from prison the weekend before. Apparently, he was into stealing things from department stores and selling them on Ebay.


We actually lasted about 5-6 months before it became to much. Her family, believe it or not, was a big factor in why I broke things off. Not in spite of them, but because she was just LIKE them. Annnd, I dunno, I just want better for myself.

So there's my worst story.


Condensed Version:

Stepfather was racist
Mother called her fat
Ex was oblivious to it
House full of Elvis memorabilia
Met her real father a month later when he got out of jail.

3/5/2010 6:38:57 PM

3/5/2010 6:39:01 PM

success.

they threw down at dinner both nights. champagne, 3-4 bottles of wine and 2 rounds of digestifs, then out to the bars

3/8/2010 12:19:25 PM

sounds like they wanted to drink until they didn't realize how shitty their daughter's boyfriend was anymore.

they wanted to drink until they couldn't feel feelings anymore.

3/8/2010 12:21:15 PM

sounds like they were happy their daughter's boyfriend could afford to pick up the tab on all that

3/8/2010 12:22:51 PM

newsflash: either they don't like you or they are alcoholics. or both.

3/8/2010 12:24:06 PM

3/8/2010 12:26:02 PM

Did you really pick up the tab?? Why the fuck would you do that?

3/8/2010 12:33:52 PM

parents have always loved me

3/8/2010 12:36:00 PM

we went out to dinner two nights in a row. i got the second night's tab. because im almost 29 years old.

[Edited on March 8, 2010 at 12:46 PM. Reason : .]

3/8/2010 12:46:15 PM

I just don't think the parents should have let you pay. You should offer to pay all day long, and maybe grab a round of drinks or a bottle of wine...but until you are engaged or married (or if you are out celebrating their anniversary or a similar accomplishment), they should always pick up the tab.

3/8/2010 12:53:21 PM

its the D in the dennis system

if it had been in their town, i think i would agree. but considering they were in town to visit, they're technically our guests. so it's not unreasonable. esp since the second night i picked the restaurant, etc

[Edited on March 8, 2010 at 12:58 PM. Reason : .]

3/8/2010 12:56:36 PM

I think you should bang the mom, just to show everyone who's King Shit.

3/8/2010 12:57:55 PM

^^^That's how it's always been with my gf. I'll definitely show up with a bottle of Johnnie Walker or something as a gift, but normally they love to take us out or cook up something for dinner. My gf's stepdad texted me the other day letting me know he picked up 2lbs. of lump crabmeat for the next time they make crabcakes, since they know that's my favorite.

[Edited on March 8, 2010 at 1:01 PM. Reason : .]

3/8/2010 12:59:46 PM

i think ill draw an MS Paint picture of how it would go down, and then mail it to them as a thank you note

3/8/2010 1:00:30 PM

^ win

3/8/2010 1:09:25 PM

Quote :

"I just don't think the parents should have let you pay. You should offer to pay all day long, and maybe grab a round of drinks or a bottle of wine...but until you are engaged or married (or if you are out celebrating their anniversary or a similar accomplishment), they should always pick up the tab."

my bf picked up the tab for dinner the last time me, him, and my dad went out. he told my dad it was the least he could do since he had paid the last 2 times. my dad emailed me the next day to say it was the nicest thing someone had done for him in the longest time.

my dad meeting my bf's parents went really well. my dad told me that my bf's family reminds him of our family back in NJ and knows why i like them so much. so yeah, mission accomplished. haha.

3/8/2010 1:17:55 PM