and talks about her feelings and their relationship. Then asks me for advice.
I'm too much of a non-jerk to do anything about this either.
Now, I have to endure lengthy phone conversations.

3/20/2010 8:37:28 PM

you should fuck her

or don't answer the phone

3/20/2010 8:39:19 PM

John Terry/Wayne Bridge anyone?

3/20/2010 8:40:12 PM

1. Nah. That's some bad juju that I don't need. Bros before hoes definitely applies in this case. This friend, I have had since 7th grade.

2. See "I'm too much of a non-jerk to do anything about this either."

3/20/2010 8:41:41 PM

YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME IT BOTHERED YOU INSTEAD OF BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

3/20/2010 9:12:54 PM

3/20/2010 9:13:51 PM

no no, it's fine . . . you won't be hearing from me any more.

3/20/2010 9:15:59 PM

you're just off limits, ok?!

3/20/2010 9:18:09 PM

THERE ARE NO LIMITS TO MY LOVE

3/20/2010 9:19:47 PM

if they keep breaking up and getting back together then they don't belong together

that would be my advice, and that would solve your problem as well

3/20/2010 9:24:38 PM

tr00f

3/20/2010 9:27:45 PM

but woman tears are like crack to me. fucking delicious. I can't get enough of them...

3/20/2010 9:30:05 PM

Quote :

"Do not consecutively reply to a topic - If you are within the alloted timespan for editing a message that no one has replied to and you think of something to add, EDIT the message. DO NOT REPLY AGAIN. Constant abuse of this will not be tolerated."

3/20/2010 9:34:32 PM

SUSPEND

3/20/2010 9:35:11 PM

THIS

3/20/2010 9:35:34 PM

suspend roddy?

3/20/2010 9:35:48 PM

MOTHERFUCKER

3/20/2010 9:35:55 PM

dammit, you fucked up my shit

well, technically Flood Control fucked it up, but I BLAME YOU!

[Edited on March 20, 2010 at 9:38 PM. Reason : a]

3/20/2010 9:36:19 PM

feel free to try again anyways

3/20/2010 9:37:44 PM

^

3/20/2010 9:38:06 PM

^

3/20/2010 9:38:47 PM

^

3/20/2010 9:39:21 PM

>

3/20/2010 9:40:39 PM

v

3/20/2010 9:42:25 PM

<

3/20/2010 9:44:23 PM

^

3/20/2010 9:46:02 PM

I think we are doing the Contra cheat code right now

3/20/2010 9:47:13 PM

Whoa, whoa, whoa, if this is happening over and over again, it eventually becomes abusive to you.

I had a lot of these convos following one of my best friend's breakups, but it was a final one-time breakup where the dude was utterly devastated. Like, I think he'd just call me when he was getting suicidal and needed to feel close to her in some way.

Probably not the healthiest way to endure a breakup, but he slowly but surely moved on. In the end, he demonized her a lot in our conversations, and I never corrected him. I think it was best.

3/20/2010 10:02:27 PM

Bridget, are you coming on to me?

3/20/2010 10:07:13 PM

Always!

Seriously though, what kind of advice are you able to give her?

3/20/2010 10:29:23 PM

Don't waste your life waiting on people to get back together with you.

3/20/2010 10:30:25 PM

Damn, that's good advice!

The only thing I ever mustered was, "Man, I dunno, love is, like, fucking crazy, dude." Said between beer gulps, mouth wipes, and drags off my cigarette...

I can't wait to call you when I get dumped!

3/20/2010 10:38:28 PM

So, you're seeing someone?

3/20/2010 10:43:04 PM

so should I call your bff when you rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it?

3/20/2010 10:46:10 PM

If you want to. They will probably be a lot more callous than me, and just not talk to you.

3/20/2010 10:47:16 PM

more than likely. But that's ok. I'll put them on speed dial

3/20/2010 10:59:59 PM

3/20/2010 11:33:52 PM

3/20/2010 11:38:51 PM

Quote :

"I'm too much of a non-jerk to do anything about this either."

I have this problem in spades. I am capable of all sorts of acts of inexcusable cruelty, but a crying woman reduces me to slavish attention and attempts at help.

It occurred to me just before I hit "Post Reply"!" that there are certain words in the above that come across as racist. That was not my attempt, but I left them in because it's kinda funny that it sounds that way.

3/20/2010 11:55:06 PM

I had to read the last part of your post 3 times before I knew what in the hell you were talking about. Absolutely the furthest thing from my mind...

3/20/2010 11:57:35 PM

As well it should be, what with crazy ladies calling you up complaining about shit unrelated to you.

In the past two weeks I received a call from one such saying, "I'm going to try anorexia so that I fit into a coffin better," in response to her failed attempts at starting a relationship with one of my friends.

3/21/2010 12:10:18 AM

3/28/2010 12:45:32 PM

3/28/2010 12:52:44 PM