So tomorrow morning I have to make a recording of some nice words for my grandfather for a compliation my uncle is putting together for the 90th birthday party.

problem: i cannot think of one nice or happy memory with him. i can think of plenty where we were happy and having fun while he watched us scowling or yelling at us to stop, but nothing where we once bonded.


so, what kind of generic statements can I make for a min or two that won't sound horribley fake or forced?

4/11/2010 10:15:47 PM

just tell your uncle you don't have anything nice to say about his crotchety old ass

4/11/2010 10:16:59 PM

"Despite our prayers, he's still with us"

4/11/2010 10:17:22 PM

die motherfucker die motherfucker die?

4/11/2010 10:18:01 PM

Was he a hard worker? Did he provide for his family? Was he loyal to his wife?

4/11/2010 10:18:30 PM

Tell him how you always liked playing the game "get a quarter out of grandpa's pocket" but never found the quarter because there was always a hole cut in the pocket. And then grandpa would smile and it was a smile that could absolutely light up the room.

4/11/2010 10:18:50 PM

^^^^^eh my uncle is a nice dude and is trying to be nice, so i don't want to screw him over by not helping out.

[Edited on April 11, 2010 at 10:19 PM. Reason : ]

4/11/2010 10:18:53 PM

forced sentiment /= sentiment.

don't give him shit.

4/11/2010 10:18:55 PM

"i'm glad he's still alive to see 90"

4/11/2010 10:19:15 PM

winner so far

Quote :

"die motherfucker die motherfucker die?"

naw, actually that hard worker thing might be the angle to go for. he retired like 5 times only to go get another job. i don't think he quit working til he was like 80.

4/11/2010 10:21:11 PM

say how you enjoyed getting a Werther's Original when you went to visit

4/11/2010 10:21:24 PM

naw man it was like a classic old person house. the candy dish had like a set of dice, some safety pins, and tums in it.

4/11/2010 10:23:31 PM

compliment him on his choice of switches from the yard

4/11/2010 10:26:32 PM

for being as traditional as he was he never hit us...i didn't get it.

oddly enough i did hit him square in the face while we were tossing a football once when i was a kid. i think that was as close as we got to violence.

4/11/2010 10:27:52 PM

Damn, that sucks, I feel for ya son. I'm someone who essentially can't pretend to be something I'm not in real time (I can in photos or text, but not in a recording or in person). The words just wont flow and I'm like, "uh...... yeah...."

I guess just say what is true about him and don't say anything about you or bonding with him. It doesn't sound like he really cares about that anyway, so I'd just say what I knew about him that he would consider good.

4/11/2010 10:27:56 PM

Quote :

"so I'd just say what I knew about him that he would consider good."

yeah i think you are totally right. he will love hearing how well he provided for his family.

4/11/2010 10:30:03 PM

is he grizzled? wistful?

4/11/2010 10:40:13 PM

does he know what is going on around him or is he just sorta gonna be physically there

4/11/2010 10:41:14 PM

he is sneaky. he kind of pretends like he doesn't know what is going on around him but then all the sudden he will say something that let's you know he is totally aware.

although he is physically not so mobile so it is easy to escape him when this happens

4/11/2010 10:43:43 PM

i just realized that next year will be 20 yrs since one of my grandfathers died

crazy how long ago that was in my life

4/11/2010 10:45:57 PM

Just get him Chappelle's Show season two and call it a day.

4/11/2010 10:46:32 PM

tww wins again for actually somehow coming up with totally useful suggestions in attempts to be funny

according to my uncle I have been the only family member so far to get a good one in on the first take!

oh, and I think I will get him that Chappelle Show set as well.

4/12/2010 10:47:17 AM