Add as you see fit:


Do Not Lie.

No TV in the bedroom.

The past is past, let it go.

Do not go to bed angry.

Don't give up your hobbies, that's what keeps your independence.




Whatchu got?

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 7:53 AM. Reason : s]

5/12/2010 7:50:13 AM

~

5/12/2010 7:55:05 AM

~

5/12/2010 7:57:58 AM

Quote :

""Cardio" "Double tap/Ziploc bags" "Beware of bathrooms" "Wear seatbelts" "Cast iron skillet" "Travel light" "Get a kickass partner" "Bounty paper towels" "Bowling Ball" "(Don't) be a hero" "Limber up" "Avoid strip clubs" "When in doubt, know your way out" "The buddy system" "Check the back seat" "Enjoy the little things" "Swiss army knife""

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 8:18 AM. Reason : q]

5/12/2010 8:17:26 AM

~

5/12/2010 8:18:45 AM

Check her ID

5/12/2010 8:21:15 AM

don't get caught

5/12/2010 8:23:10 AM

Quote :

"Don't give up your hobbies, that's what keeps your independence."

Don't give up your independence
Unless it feels so right
Nothing good comes easily
Sometimes you've got to fight


WOOOOOAH-OOOH AMBER IS THE COLOR OF YOUR GIBBIGONE
WOOOOOAH-OOOH SHADES OF GIBBON DISPLAYIN NATURALLY

5/12/2010 8:58:11 AM

Rule #1:

5/12/2010 9:13:14 AM

1) Do not lie.
2) Do not steal.
3) No TV in the bedroom.*** PERSONAL FAV***
4) The past is past, let it go. But don't forget your roots.
5) Do not go to bed angry.
6) Don't give up your hobbies, that's what keeps you independent.
7) Appreciate the small things.
8) Don't sweat the small things.
9) Create goals. They give you something to live for.
10) SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO INSPIRE YOU TO BE YOUR BEST POSSIBLE SELF. The people around you will influence you and your actions, whether you realize it or not.
11) Oh, forgot one ... take care of your body and mind. Do things every day to stay healthy. It's easier to stay healthy than it is to undo damage. Should be Rule #1: Cardio

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 9:29 AM. Reason : .]

5/12/2010 9:28:14 AM

Quote :

"6) Don't give up your hobbies, that's what keeps you independent."

ahahahahaha what

5/12/2010 9:29:35 AM

^ Stole it from H8R

5/12/2010 9:30:14 AM

wait what is cardio ? i want in!

5/12/2010 9:30:44 AM

that is hilarious

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 9:31 AM. Reason : "that" being that i clearly haven't read the thread]

5/12/2010 9:31:04 AM

^^ There are many great forms of cardio. Personally, I run 30 to 40 miles a week. Gotta stay in shape in case of potential zombie attack.

But there are other options, of course.

5/12/2010 9:32:50 AM

they asked me to stop running because i am so skinny....so i need in in the cardio kisses!

5/12/2010 9:34:05 AM

Here's a short-list, off the top of my head.

Ethical rules dealing with other people

1. mn1er4dwopidnl.
2. respect others' time
3. be as charitable as is reasonable in interpreting somebody's speech
4. ceteris paribus, don't be a twat.
5.

Practical rules for dealing with other people

1. Being generous counts.
2. Dealing with other people is best if you have no expectations. Not only is it fairest to you, it's also fairest to them. Inasmuch as possible take care of your own shit. Good friends will come through, but it's best if this is viewed as bonus rather than expected.
Number 3: never trust no-bo-dy
4. It's best to give to other people when you feel like it, for no reason other than feeling like it. Giving due to form is really empty, wasteful, and unappreciated for the most part. The best gifts are given because of the intent, so don't give without genuine intent. I hate receiving automatic "thank you" gifts, and I hate giving them. If you didn't want to give the present for its own sake, why did you give it?

Ethical rules for dealing with myself

1. Use time as wisely as possible. Sometimes goofing off is a wise use of time, as I need it for psychological release.
2. Pay attention to my health and adjust diet, exercise, booze accordingly.
3. (Echoing H8R) The past is the past, let it go. Holding on to stuff from the past is damaging to your mood and your general mental health.
4. Stress ain't good, man. Ceteris paribus, smoke somethin'.
5. Do not let no woman run my effin' life.
6. Work as hard as possible. Determination is synonymous with taking ownership of one's life.

Practical rules for dealing with myself

1. Write everything down.
2. Separate activities by room. Don't work in the bedroom, don't play in the office.
3. Never attempt quitting coffee again. Realize I must drink it every morning to really hit peak productivity, so get on that shit first thing.
4. Work as hard as possible during work time, relax as hard as possible during relax time. Budget both accordingly.
5. Stress is a motivator for the unconscientious; so long as I'm doing what I can, I try to eliminate stress.
6. Don't take myself too seriously; I'm wrong about a lot, so I try to keep this in mind and weigh serious ideas fairly.
7. Always check my assumptions.
8. Laugh at myself as often as possible because I do stupid, pretentious shit like compile these lists for public viewing

5/12/2010 9:35:06 AM

12) Live below your means. Invest the difference.

5/12/2010 9:36:28 AM

13) If you ain't first, you're last.
14) Never take shit from nobody.
15) If a crazy old scientist and some kid come around asking about your Sports Almanac, deal with them.

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 9:39 AM. Reason : *]

5/12/2010 9:38:17 AM

Rule nombre uno: never let no one know
how much, dough you hold, cause you know
The cheddar breed jealousy 'specially
if that man fucked up, get your ass stuck up

Number two: never let em know your next move
Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence or violence
Take it from your highness
I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for they bricks and chips

Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Hoodie to mask up, shit, for that fast buck
she be layin in the bushes to light that ass up

Number four: know you heard this before
Never get high, on your own supply

Number five: never sell no crack where you rest at
I don't care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce

Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
You think a crackhead payin you back, shit forget it

Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely separated
Money and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit

Number eight: never keep no weight on you
Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jobs too

Number nine: shoulda been number one to me
If you ain't gettin bags stay the fuck from police
If niggaz think you snitchin ain't tryin listen
They be sittin in your kitchen, waitin to start hittin

Number ten: a strong word called consignment
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain't got the clientele say hell no
Cause they gon want they money rain sleet hail snow

Follow these rules you'll have mad bread to break up

5/12/2010 9:55:43 AM

Don't squat with your spurs on

5/12/2010 9:56:27 AM

Taking a walk every day is maybe an ethical obligation, you need outdoor time to satisfy the brainghost

5/12/2010 9:59:55 AM

the fuck brainghost

5/12/2010 10:07:45 AM

Also, double-posting:

From open mics to solutions, I got a collage of answers
And a ten-point program, just like the Black Panthers
One: First respect yourself as an artist
If you don't respect yourself, then your rhymes is garbage
Two: Make sure your crew is as tight as you
Cause when them niggas fallin' off, they gonna bring you down, too
Three: Understand the meaning of MC
The power to move the crowd like Moses split the seas
Four: Know your shit, and don't ever be blunted
If you don't know what your words mean, then your rhymes mean nothin'
Five: Kick facts in your raps, and curse with clarity
What's a curse when language is immersed in vulgarity?
Six: We gonna fix industrial poli-tricks
Shit, they made an art form out of ridin' dicks
Seven: We soldiers for God needin' new recruits
So if you rhymin' for the loot, then you's a prostitute
But eight: Acknowledge that you need food on your plate
In order to say your grace, make sure your business is straight
Nine: We buildin' black minds with intelligence
And when you freestyle, keep the subject matter relevant
Ten: Every MC grab a pen
And write some conscious lyrics to tell the children
I'll say it again: Every MC find you a pen
And drop some conscious shit for our children
The Manifesto!

5/12/2010 10:10:58 AM

man, fuck rules. I just live.

5/12/2010 10:35:22 AM

mn1er4dwopidnl

5/12/2010 10:36:14 AM

Quote :

"mn1er4dwopidnl "

?

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 10:49 AM. Reason : ???]

5/12/2010 10:39:58 AM

this is the thread i'll be going to when i'm not sure about life

5/12/2010 10:48:06 AM

Quote :

"No TV in the bedroom."

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?

I'm pretty sure I'll always have a TV in my bedroom. I love to fall asleep watching TV...mainly the Food Network or ESPN.

5/12/2010 10:50:41 AM

^ I don't understand this either.

5/12/2010 10:55:36 AM

^
No, that's right.
TV in the bedroom is a HUGE no-no.




correct... All falling asleep to TV should be done on a couch, and not in your bedroom.
\/

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 10:59 AM. Reason : ]

5/12/2010 10:55:57 AM

The bedroom is for sleepin' and gettin' freaky. TV distracts from both of those things.

5/12/2010 10:56:59 AM

Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city.

Never go near a woman who has a tattoo of a dagger anywhere on her body.

5/12/2010 10:58:54 AM

1 - ~
2 - ~
3 - ~
4 - ~
5 - ~

5/12/2010 10:59:52 AM

Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

5/12/2010 11:03:42 AM

1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.

2. It is more important to have good health insurance than good health.

3. Don't bluff more than once in a poker game with friends.

4. When one of the big bosses at work unexpectedly says something really cheery and friendly to you, he means absolutely nothing by it. Not even if he's your father.

5. Wear as much black as you can. It makes you look slimmer and cooler. But avoid black jeans.

6. When someone in your family is going through a divorce, always side with the blood relative.

7. Pointedly praising something unusual a person owns or has done will make you appear far smarter in his eyes than a 10-minute discourse on world events.

8. Yes, speak softly and carry a big stick. But don't mumble. And don't swing the stick.

9. The man who can't dance, can't converse, and can't provide psychological support to a woman is only half a man; the other half can't cook, can't clean, and badly wants a drink.

10. Do not get a visible tattoo larger than your penis.

11. Be aware that most people are operating on a very condensed version of the 10 Commandments: the part about murder.

12. There will be times when good neighbors are more important than a good neighborhood.

13. Telling a woman, "You're a great person," is taken as the lead-in to a confession that you don't love her.

14. Trying to "teach someone a lesson"never works.

15. Easy on the mayo!

16. Be careful about publicly discussing your hobbies, as most hobbies strike people as somewhat pathetic: most notably, collecting stamps, coins, or anything else, bird-watching, bowling, rockhounding, spelunking, table tennis, poetry, dog shows, chat rooms, polka music, yoga, herpetology, marathon running, and religion. The only hobbies you can safely own up to when among people you need to impress are fly-fishing and golf.

17. Never buy anyone a gift at a kiosk.

18. Never wear clothing that your coworkers avoid—the bow tie, the suspenders, the green suit. While you might think you're expressing your individuality, your colleagues will perceive it as a rejection of their group culture; you'll become a person who probably can't be trusted.

19. Do not bring lunch to work.

20. Rainbows are God's way of reminding us that beauty is an optical illusion, except in sports cars.

21. You will never become a rock star.

22. As you go through life, you will discover that more and more of the subjects you studied in college are useless, with the exception of abnormal psychology.

23. Never make any sort of generalization concerning gender, even if it's so true God himself would back you up.

24. Telling a person in management, "I'm a bit of a philosopher," means you're a total loser.

25. When running in the park on a hot day, do not take off your shirt if you are a really hairy sonofabitch.

26. Never hesitate to admit the error of your ways, when under oath in federal court.

27. Always wear freshly laundered or pressed clothing to work. Even one wrinkle will have certain coworkers creating—and perhaps sharing—scenarios of debauchery or financial distress.

28. Do not say hi to a perfect stranger in any town with a population over 2,000. The friendly gesture in Beaver Dam Falls is a scary act of aggression in Boston.

29. Always imply, in every possible way, that the person you're talking to is smarter, better-looking, slimmer, and more successful than they really are.

30. When choosing a bottle of wine to bring to a dinner party, spend between 10 and 15 dollars. That's for a bottle, not a gallon.

31. Do not come on to the new female pastor, unless she winks at you during the sermon.

32. An ounce of appearance is worth a pound of substance.

33. The way a woman looks, acts, and talks says nothing about how good she is in bed.

34. It is okay to admit in conversation that your accountant used his imagination to save you $500 in taxes, but never admit you saved 5 bucks by refilling the vodka bottle in the minibar with water.

35. Never get into a pissing match via e-mail. If he forwards, you lose.

36. Never suggest to another person at the gym that he's not working hard enough to accomplish anything.

37. People who live in glass houses are idiots.

38. Going insane while watching a great football game is a sign of mental health.

39. When a man meets another man, bonding begins when they both say things they hope no one else hears.

40. The person who sincerely says to you, "I want to get to know you better," is a person you don't want to know at all.

5/12/2010 11:05:56 AM

don't piss into the wind

5/12/2010 11:06:42 AM

or on an electric fence.

5/12/2010 11:07:07 AM

Quote :

"The bedroom is for sleepin' and gettin' freaky. TV distracts from both of those things."

Then turn off the TV when you want to fuck.

And TV is perfect for helping me get to sleep.

5/12/2010 11:09:55 AM

^

5/12/2010 11:10:43 AM

family is all you've got so stay close

be a good person and be honest

make sure that whatever you decide to do in life you are happy

5/12/2010 11:13:41 AM

+1 for no TV in the bedroom

5/12/2010 11:19:58 AM

Never give up, Trust your instincts

Only people who live in glass houses should throw stones, provided they are trapped.

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 11:22 AM. Reason : oh yeah]

5/12/2010 11:21:34 AM

never drink anything you didn't open yourself, or was left unattended, no idea what is in thar.
never smoke a blunt you didn't watch getting rolled, dunno what is in there.
when buying illegally, it is C.O.D. ONLY.
when disposing of illegal stuff, throw it in a dumpster miles from your home.
all plastic must burn (fingerprints).
don't carry a knife, you'll end up in a gunfight.
if someone lies to you even once, end the relationship immediately.
money goes in the bank, not a fat roll in your pocket.
phone code should be worked out before hand, not over the phone.
always check your oil and tires while you warm up your car, you don't ever know when you need your car's total cooperation.
FUCK AUTOTUNE.
always leave a light on.
fuck your wife or someone else will.
fuck your husband or someone else will.
always mute commercials.
smoke weed everyday.

5/12/2010 11:43:25 AM

never trust no-bo-dy

5/12/2010 1:08:01 PM

How the fuck did I leave out Rule #1: Cardio?







And you fuckers posting ~ are closet ~.

5/12/2010 1:39:54 PM

You can apply a lot of Zombieland rules to bitchez 4 great justice (and profit)

Rule #2: the double-tap

5/12/2010 2:18:22 PM

I too do not understand this no tv in the bedroom thing.

maybe your chick doesn't watch cool enough shows?

snuggling and watching some adult swim is pretty kick ass

5/12/2010 3:06:55 PM

i keep a tv in my bedroom. bedtime is like the main time i get to watch tv! and i fall asleep to it (whoops).

my # 1 rule to live by is :

don't make so many rules. life is unexpected and complicated. just live.

5/12/2010 3:11:02 PM

no TV in the bedroom, shit's madness

5/12/2010 3:12:46 PM