inspired by :
http://thewolfweb.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=595180

i'll start.

how to tell a guy (or girl) youre not interested.
having been a bartender for 5ish years i got hit on. a lot. and i've made the mistake of actually giving out my real number and fake ones a lot and these are my findings.
keep in mind that my situation is atypical. while youre at a club/bar you may give out a fake number and never see the guy again. crisis averted. however i bartended at only one place (mostly) and the chances of me seeing the guy again are a little higher. however because of this situation i was able to use this in most any circumstances and it worked beautifully.


1. do NOT tell the other person you are already involved if you are not. as soon as you do- their amazingly hot, funnier, and more interesting friend will show interest in you. and getting out of that one is tricky. you could tell the friend that you were lying but then you run the risk of the original guy despising you for lying to him. and if they're buds this can be pretty awkward.
if this happens your best bet is to stick with the "i'm taken" story. befriend said guys. break up soon after. then go in for the kill.
this is too much work. screw that.

2. do NOT say "yeah!" and just give the guy your number. this one is a fall back for people (myself included). if you give him your real number and just don't answer it makes you look like a total bitch and that word gets around. so if you see him again with a bunch of friends, youre labeled. a better approach is to give him a fake number. be careful with this one too. although it's probably a better option than giving him your own number and not answering.... most guys are hesitant to admit they got a fake number. either one of these has the potential to lead to awkward situations in the future.

3. the solution. be straight and honest. "Thanks. I'm really flattered but I am not interested." don't give him a reason. don't apologize. be genuinely nice about it. it's sounds like a no-brainer but it's so hard to do. a guy can recover from this much easier than the other options above. and the fact you are so frank about it usually will shock the guy into leaving quickly but later on respect you more that you actually did that. however it may not always work leading to the number 4.

4. occasionally a guy will be persistent. i've had it happen maybe 7-8 times. even after blatantly saying no and im not interested, he'll say things like "C'mon baby. Lemme take you out girl. You'll love it!" or "Girl, just gimme one night." this is when i feel it's permissible to give out the fake number.
but not just any number.
let him know you mean business. most people's go to is the rejection hotline: (828) 859-2905
i preferred something a little more subtle:
919-926-9559
919-926-9199


this way if he ever says something about it you can honestly say:
i told him i wasn't interested and he was a douche and wouldn't let up. so yes-i gave him a fake number





ok. your turn.



[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 1:28 PM. Reason : -->
[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 1:29 PM. Reason : usually]

5/19/2010 1:27:09 PM

which one was cody?

5/19/2010 1:29:11 PM

Here is my lesson I learned:

Bringing a Tailgate special from Bojangles to celebrate Black History month for your four Black coworkers is a bad idea.

5/19/2010 1:30:19 PM

I too get hit on at work a lot, I've had to stop handing out my Twitter username

5/19/2010 1:30:20 PM

Also, letting everyone find out that you're a liberal atheist is a bad idea.

5/19/2010 1:32:53 PM

Life lesson for anyone who works with the general public: There's a reason we use the term "average person" and it's not because everybody is smart and rational. Most people are just petulant children in larger bodies when they are the customer, whether that's at McDonald's or at their kid's school.

Bottom line, most people are stupid shitheads, or at the least have no problem acting that way.

5/19/2010 1:33:46 PM

oh jeez.
very true kurtis. very true.


that being said i've learned to be very nice to people when things go wrong. most of the time it's not directly their fault and really want to help you out.

[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 1:37 PM. Reason : ergrftr]

5/19/2010 1:36:24 PM

Word. I'm heading to Ruckus, and if I don't find out who Alias is I'm going to beat up everybody there.

5/19/2010 1:38:01 PM

Do you use your physical attributes to an advantage to get better tips?

5/19/2010 1:38:21 PM

nah not really.
occasionally it has helped from time to time, im sure.

but just generally being nice and attentive gives you good tips.

i got some of my best tips from middle aged women.

5/19/2010 1:39:55 PM

Quote :

"but not just any number. "

828-859-2905.... Call it and see what I mean It sounds like a real number, too - my friend has the same area code.

Lessons I have learned:

1. GET A LAWYER IF HURT ON THE JOB. Insurance companies are a bitch and people get screwed out of tons of stuff.

2. Don't ever, ever, EVER work for Wal-Mart/Sam's Club/Lowe's.

3. Don't order a ridiculously complicated drink if you're at a coffee shop and can see they're busy. The barista will hate you.

4. Don't fake a military ID when you're in a military town going to a bar that serves mostly military patrons. Dumbass.

5. Avoid picking up a prescription around 5 pm at a popular pharmacy in town.

6. Feral cats may look cute a lot of the time, but they are most likely Satan reincarnated when you try to touch them (or give them shots, or put them in a crate).

5/19/2010 1:40:52 PM

I've thought about bartending this fall when I go back to school.

I would definitely use my cleavage to get better tips.

5/19/2010 1:41:13 PM

Quote :

"828-859-2905"

that number used to be a lot funnier when they had the raspy guy answering the phone
now it sounds like a telemarketer

Quote :

"I would definitely use my cleavage to get better tips."

cleavage will only get you so far.
talking to people. and listening to people without injecting your own opinions, thoughts, or stories is what will get you good tips and repeat customers.

[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 1:45 PM. Reason : ]

5/19/2010 1:44:40 PM

When something gets f'ed up, the majority of people are more worried about deflecting blame than correcting said problem.

5/19/2010 1:44:53 PM

lol. i just read all of yours Samwise16

5/19/2010 1:46:03 PM

I would also like to add:

7. If you work with animals, DO NOT trust anyone who says their stray cat so isn't feral.. or the cat they've "owned" for years. This woman brought in a stupid cat that ripped my arms to shreds because SURPRISE it was ridiculously feral, not just an outside cat

5/19/2010 1:47:46 PM

Your boss might ask you what you think of a new initiative or some new project, but most of the time they don't want to hear your honest opinion. This has put me on the shit list on numerous occasions. For some reason corporate politics are must like junior high. People would rather here a bunch of sycophantic nonsense than the truth and honest efforts to correct issues or impending issues. Problematically, every stupid idea that comes down the pipe is somebody's baby, and it's usually your boss's boss's boss's boss.

5/19/2010 1:49:57 PM

Quote :

"talking to people. and listening to people without injecting your own opinions, thoughts, or stories is what will get you good tips and repeat customers."

I can see that.

I will also wear tight jeans.

5/19/2010 1:50:22 PM

I just thought of a new one.


DO NOT TRUST SOMEONE TO BE ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TASK SUCH AS PUNCHING F'ING HOLES EVENLY IN A SHEET OF PAPER.

5/19/2010 1:51:15 PM

Rule #3

EVERYONE IS STUPID EXCEPT FOR YOU.

5/19/2010 1:52:21 PM

Nah, it's more like, "rule #3: Everyone is willfully blind because it's easier to agree with the higher ups than disagree even if they are totally and obviously wrong,"

5/19/2010 1:53:49 PM

Don't trust anybody and don't ever have any loyalty, because they sure as fuck don't have any for you.

5/19/2010 2:02:16 PM

Whoever talks the most on the first day about him/herself & coworkers is the one you need to be most weary of.

Befriend the receptionist, and quickly. Never piss him off.

5/19/2010 2:08:42 PM

you can be a total asshole to people, to their face, as long as you're smiling.

5/19/2010 2:10:36 PM

be nice, but learn how to say no, thank you

5/19/2010 2:10:47 PM

Befriend your maintenance and facilities crew and treat them as they SHOULD be treated, not like dirt, and all of a sudden they will be "too busy" to work on someone else's first world problem

5/19/2010 2:13:17 PM

Don't touch things that shoot X-ray beams. EVAH!

5/19/2010 2:18:33 PM

lesson i learned bartending:

this is the one case where the customer isn't always right....the bartender is. if i cut you off...you're cut off. if i kick you out...you're kicked out. if you protest vehemently to the aforementioned scenarios i can call the cops. goodbye

lesson i learned at my real job:

satellite internet companies will throttle your internet if you watch too many streaming tv shows/movies

5/19/2010 2:22:19 PM

Quote :

"Befriend the receptionist, and quickly. Never piss him off."

good one!

5/19/2010 2:24:15 PM

don't buy candy on the company credit card on field assignments

5/19/2010 2:26:21 PM

When you work at a vet's office, don't try to save animals by taking them in, you will soon get completely overwhelmed.

People are idiots.

5/19/2010 2:29:33 PM

i see the ugly side of people

these all refer to men. mostly aged 50 & up

--they do not work nearly as hard as they put on. a lot of them are lazy and act too stupid to look something up or figure it out

--they act like 12 year old girls with the drama. complaining about the most elementary shit

-- they lie lie lie to their wives & if they have them, girlfriends. maybe not 'bad' lies but a lot of lying goes on about where they are, what they're doing and why they're running late

--they get sloppy drunk & embarrass themselves... a lot

-- they LOVE a strip club and will buy private dances in the back room (i know for a fact at least half of the guys never tell their wives, the other half probably act like they didn't want to go in the first place)

-- i may not be 'one of the guys' (and trust me, i dont want to be) but i've been working with some of these people long enough that they start acting like themselves around me and the things they say & do are pretty disgusting. then they try to apologize and i ask them how they'd feel if their wife was there. that usually shuts them up

-- the younger dudes, around my age are constantly getting phone numbers, despite being married. they probably never call them but they do it because they like to think they still 'got it'


so really what i have learned is that men are generally ass holes. i think i already knew this but i get to see it in action all day long...long past my 40 hours a week since i travel with these people too

edit: oh yeah, i've also learned how to deflect constant questions about my personal life

such as, why i'm not married yet and if i'm eating a snack, i must be pregnant. oy oy oy

[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 2:33 PM. Reason : dskfjsdklfj]

5/19/2010 2:30:53 PM

never let the boss know you are smarter.

5/19/2010 2:32:47 PM

^Haha best yet!

5/19/2010 2:33:38 PM

Quote :

"Also, letting everyone find out that you're a liberal atheist is a bad idea. "

the black lady at one of my jobs used to tell me I was going to Hell all the time.

5/19/2010 2:33:42 PM

Yeah I definitely don't go round telling people I'm an atheist. If they ask me point blank, I answer, but otherwise no...

5/19/2010 2:34:35 PM

^^^^^LOL

so true

going out with the boss and coworkers who are married at previous companies really opened my eyes to how some ppl act and treat their relationships

you lose a lot of respect for them in the process



[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 2:36 PM. Reason : carats]

5/19/2010 2:35:14 PM

Quote :

"i see the ugly side of people these all refer to men. mostly aged 50 & up"

do they make jokes about your juggs

5/19/2010 2:35:18 PM

shut up and smile.

it will do amazing things.

5/19/2010 2:37:00 PM

from my internship in college:

1. never leave your company laptop in your car when traveling out of town for work and leaving your car overnight...(duh)

2. always check the website you are going to as it loads to make sure you typed it in correctly instead of getting up, walking away from your desk, and assuming what is on your screen is what you thought. one little letter can make ALLLLLL the difference

5/19/2010 2:38:08 PM

Quote :

"shut up and smile."

i really, really like this one.

5/19/2010 2:38:58 PM

european men have no faith towards their wives, in my experience

if she's not there, she doesn't exist (how they act)

5/19/2010 2:39:00 PM

no matter how huffy the customer gets, just always keep your cool. chances are they just don't understand their situation and two hotheads instead of one will not solve any problems.

also, ignoring a problem does NOT make it go away. i've noticed this behavior with a certain coworker who really just grinds my gears!

5/19/2010 2:47:11 PM

Quote :

"european men have no faith towards their wives, in my experience if she's not there, she doesn't exist (how they act)"

that's part of, what I call, the Cathedral mentality. The wife is the Cathedral, the mistresses are the little countryside churches.

[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 2:48 PM. Reason : ]

5/19/2010 2:48:07 PM

All women are bitches.

5/19/2010 2:51:04 PM

1. Never answer more than the question asks for. EVER.

2. It's so much easier to wait when there's a large window in front of you, as opposed to a small window besides you.

3. If you don't wear your hat, people won't ask you where Gate A48 is.

4. Memphis is a shady town. Detroit is a miserable town. Minneapolis is pretty cool town.

5/19/2010 2:51:47 PM

I like Wolfy's list. Other lessons:

1) A majority of business decisions are made at the bar. Go to Happy Hour. You'll find out the real dirt that people can't say with HR around.
2) Do whatever you can to save the company money. Present money-saving solutions to your leadership team. If you can save the company money, your bosses will appreciate you more. It's not about who is the smartest or most skilled ... it's about who can generate the most revenue and save the most money.
3) Network, network, network ... social connections will help you find and keep your job.
4) Be a bitch when it comes to producing perfect work. But be a funny bitch. You have to be a bitch to get ahead, but if you can make people laugh, you'll still be a likable bitch.

[Edited on May 19, 2010 at 2:55 PM. Reason : ,]

5/19/2010 2:52:52 PM

Quote :

"Detroit is a miserable town"

5/19/2010 2:53:10 PM

Be well-liked, despite rejection. Attempt to make friends with everyone in the office by displaying interest in others well-being. Never share a secret no matter how minuscule. Don't participate in gossip and try to include everyone in discussions whenever possible. Earn respect in the company through mature actions, and you could have more pull, and inside intelligence, than even your boss.

Don't make excuses. Own your problems and even problems that are not your fault. When you are wrong, admit it. When others are wrong, protect them. In the long run, these qualities are not only admired, but are heavily desired by senior management when giving out promotions.

Trust, but verify. Often times friendships in the workplace cloud your judgment. Be careful to never point fingers, as this can jeopardize your overall standing. Instead, guide people if they need help, but always double-check the work itself, regardless of who is involved.

Don't settle for less. You are a product which is meant to be bought and sold to the highest bidder in corporate America. No matter how much you love the people, the company, and your job; continue to keep doors open for new opportunities. Loyalty can steal your youth, your growth potential, and much more. At the same time, do not jump ship simply for more money. Try to strike a balance, but never settle for less.

5/19/2010 2:54:12 PM

Quote :

"Don't settle for less. You are a product which is meant to be bought and sold to the highest bidder in corporate America. No matter how much you love the people, the company, and your job; continue to keep doors open for new opportunities. Loyalty can steal your youth, your growth potential, and much more. At the same time, do not jump ship simply for more money. Try to strike a balance, but never settle for less. "

I love this one. I was just talking to a friend about this over lunch. Companies aren't loyal to us. There's more to life than money, but there's also more to life than just working 30 years for the same company simply because you feel loyal to that company.

5/19/2010 2:57:52 PM