Quote :

"If you're a battery, you're either working or you're dead. What a shit life."

5/20/2010 11:34:45 PM

same can be said about an eli thread.

o dag.

5/20/2010 11:36:20 PM

atleast a battery can be charged back to life unlike eli's threaad

5/20/2010 11:37:41 PM

Quote :

"I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word ‘dude.’ ‘Dude, these are isotopes.’ ‘Dude, we removed your kidney. You’re gonna be fine.’ ‘Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies."

Quote :

"Saying ‘I’m sorry’ is the same as saying ‘I apologize.’ Except at a funeral."

5/20/2010 11:38:55 PM

Quote :

"I'm going to buy a bunch of hermit crabs and make 'em live together. People'll ask: "Are those hermit crabs?" "Not anymore!""

Quote :

"If you have a pear-shaped body, you should not wear pear-colored clothes. Or act juicy."

Quote :

"I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'"

5/20/2010 11:57:05 PM

I dont get it... Couldnt the battery be full of energy at some point?

5/21/2010 12:01:11 AM

you could be disconnected and fully charged

5/21/2010 12:02:33 AM

Mitch Hedberg >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> this ass-clown

5/21/2010 12:27:58 AM

There's plenty of room for more than one, one-liner based comedian.

Steven Wright is pretty awesome. I like Emo Philips alright, too.

[Edited on May 21, 2010 at 1:31 AM. Reason : ...]

5/21/2010 1:20:59 AM

^^ mitch hedberg is as overrated as the dark knight.

dude bombed like 90% of his jokes and was only funny b/c he was clearly blitzed on stage and would admit when a joke sucked.

not that i hate the guy, but his glory is not so grand that he requires you to shit on a hilarious act such as demetri martin.

5/21/2010 7:08:23 AM

So how many of you fuckers saw Demetri Martin in Talley back in '06(or whenever it was)

5/21/2010 7:44:13 AM

I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.

5/21/2010 7:52:19 AM

^^ fuuuuuuuck i had a chem201 lab at the same time. i immediately realized that was a bad decision.

5/21/2010 8:13:22 AM

I saw him with zach galfankiweikis and will ferrell at UNC

5/21/2010 9:11:25 AM

^ so did I, and he was easily the least funny.

5/21/2010 9:31:43 AM

I saw him and met him when he came to state. My buddies were the UAB president and L&E chair at the time and they got him to come.

5/21/2010 10:49:57 AM

Saw him at Talley, got a pic and autograph. Also saw him with Ferrell and the other comedians at UNC

5/21/2010 11:37:35 AM