Man Law

Your best friend is dumped by his girlfriend. How long before you can ask her out?
It was suggested to be various short amounts of time, but the idea of dating a friend's ex was thought to be wholly unacceptable by Mr. Reynolds. However, when asked "What if she's drop-dead gorgeous?", Mr. Reynolds changed his answer to "six months" and the motion was summarily accepted.

If you bring Miller Lite to a party and not all of it is consumed, can you take the remainder with you as you leave the party?
Tuck Rule: As many beers as will fit in one pocket, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket.

What does Man Law say about hugging other guys?
This is a curious issue. If hugging a (family) relative that you have not seen in a long time, two hands is appropriate. But if hugging anyone else, a hand shake with the other hand over their shoulder is more than enough.

If a friend gets you a beer from the bar, is it acceptable for the friend to stick his finger in the opening to bring back several beers to the table at once?
No. "You poke it, you own it."

When toasting with beer, should you clink with the top or the bottom of the bottle?
The Bottom, because clinking the top would swap saliva and thus qualify as kissing.

Is the high five officially played out?
Yes, but a continuance has been issued until a replacement can be found.

Does someone have to root for a team when watching football?
Yes. You must always choose to root for a team.

Wireless phone headsets: pretty cool or technology gone bad?
Technology gone bad: Anything that makes you look like a crazy person - not cool. (Mr. Bus completely disagrees.)
Always tell your buddy what his girlfriend plans to get him as a gift. This law applies to all situations


Can you put a lime or any other fruit in your beer?
No, fruit is completely off limits in beer. If one were to put fruit in a beer, they might as well put a little umbrella in it and call it a "beera colada". Man Law: "Don't Fruit the Beer."

Is it permissible, in the pursuit of humor, to tap the top of another man's beer bottle with the bottom of your beer bottle, causing the other man's beer bottle to fizz over?
No, as there are plenty of other things that make us laugh without wasting a drop of beer, like Japanese game shows, Undercover Brother on DVD, and Jimmy Johnson's hair. Man Law: "No wasting beer in the pursuit of humor."

Have football fans become too reliant on the "D-Fence" sign?
Yes, however, a continuance has been issued on the "D-Fence" sign, while giving a try-out to the "Off-Fence" sign this season.

Is it acceptable for a man to leave his fellow men in order to leave with his woman?
No, however, this ruling can be overturned if she is deemed attractive enough by said fellow men. Most notably, Burt Reynolds, in the case of Mr. Murray's girlfriend, Jewel. (Beforehand, the Men were discussing if it is acceptable for a man to drive a hybrid car. A Man Law was never adopted for this.)

Is it permissible for opponents of a bet to distract one another during the betting event?
No. Unless a distraction clause enabling the opponents to distract is placed before said event occurs.

Is it acceptable to leave a game before it ends to beat traffic?
No. In a rare double man law it was also deemed unacceptable for a man to bake on game day. This is the one Rodney Blu appears in.

Is it acceptable for a man to use a fake log when real wood is available?
No. Real wood must always be used.

Is it acceptable for a wife or girlfriend to store items other than beer in the garage fridge?
No. The line is the line - It is the only sovereign territory left.

Is crushing beer cans on your forehead still cool?
No. Cans are not as thick as they once were. Crushing one back then was saying something, but now, it's lame.

21 rule
No matter what, the 21 rule is always in effect. No matter what, no if ands or buts.

Can a man wash his hair in the sink?
No. Under no circumstance shall a man wash his hair in a sink. Hair washing will only take place in the shower, OR, the barber.

5/22/2010 1:56:39 AM

Can a man end a game of pain, by not abiding by the rules?
No. All rules shall be followed or the result will be double the penalty of the game for the man who broke them.

Is telling stories of getting kicked in the balls reasonable male conversation?
No. Hearing a story of that nature brings back painful memories because every man has his own story.

If while eating hot peppers, is it acceptable for a person to stay at the table and not eat while forcing others to eat the peppers?
No, if said person is at the table and is trying to make others eat hot peppers while being too chicken to try one themselves they should be made to eat twice the amount eaten or be shunned from the table and made to sit outside, no matter the weather conditions.

If it is raining, is it permissible to hold the umbrella for another man?
No. Man law prohibits the holding of a shared umbrella.

When sitting down for lunch, is it okay for two guys to sit next to each other in at a four-seated table?
No. When approaching a table, men must sit on opposite sides of the table, and most of the time opposite angles as well.

Urinals?
If a man is using a urinal, you must never use the one right next to him, it must be every other one

Is it permissible to have a gathering with your fishing buddies with no beer?
No, how can you tell fish tales and keep a straight face without beer?

When down by one, do you go for the tie or the win?
The win. Men go for it.

Can women do the exploding fist bump?
No, against man law.

5/22/2010 1:59:06 AM

welcome to 2006

5/22/2010 2:25:59 AM

Some of you fuckers need a reminder.

5/22/2010 2:37:00 AM

I'm reminded that you aren't funny.

This thread sucks. Fuck you.

5/22/2010 8:37:04 AM

Don't be gay.
You queer.

5/22/2010 8:46:45 AM

the umbrella one is awkward. I share anyway.

5/22/2010 8:54:37 AM

Optimum being too sensitive ITT

5/22/2010 9:10:43 AM

Oh good lord, can a fag make a joke?

5/22/2010 9:11:56 AM

HEY GUYS!

WHO WANTS SOME FRESH BUSCUITS?

5/22/2010 9:18:46 AM