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joe_schmoe
All American
18758 Posts
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LOTS

OF

CARROTS

10/17/2009 12:59:02 AM

Jeepxj420
All American
6755 Posts
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Quote :
"(402): I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had."

10/22/2009 3:54:30 PM

swoakley
All American
1725 Posts
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^Facebook, what?

10/22/2009 8:22:36 PM

Jeepxj420
All American
6755 Posts
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and?

10/22/2009 8:25:53 PM

ThePeter
TWW CHAMPION
37709 Posts
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Quote :
" (412): All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire. "

10/26/2009 1:44:50 AM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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Quote :
"(847): I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning."


Quote :
"(419): His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him."

10/27/2009 9:48:52 AM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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Quote :
"(570): so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party."

10/30/2009 9:31:48 PM

ThePeter
TWW CHAMPION
37709 Posts
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Bunch of good Halloween ones up

Quote :
" (407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume. "


Quote :
" (860): I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen "


Quote :
" (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love "


Quote :
" (914): I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man "


Quote :
" (740): the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best. "


Quote :
" (321): Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day. "


Quote :
" (410): i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in. "


Quote :
" (856): i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty" "

10/31/2009 7:13:00 PM

ThePeter
TWW CHAMPION
37709 Posts
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Quote :
" (203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me "


Quote :
" (786): I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying. "

11/1/2009 4:11:51 PM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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Quote :
"(425): You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option."


Quote :
"(270): At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back""

11/2/2009 6:55:59 PM

tromboner950
All American
9667 Posts
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Quote :
"You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option."


In his defense, it fucking should be. Anyone on a mid-party food run would be ordering that by default. Probably multiple bags.

11/2/2009 10:21:06 PM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35386 Posts
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my dad has a fun story about pulling up and ordering "ten dollars worth of cheeseburgers" after a long day of fishing

11/2/2009 10:37:49 PM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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Quote :
"(708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" "


Quote :
"(610): You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck "


Quote :
"(+44): You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway."


Quote :
"(919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi"


Quote :
"(410): remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that."

11/6/2009 12:49:02 PM

Jen
All American
10527 Posts
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dick time, I like it. I'll have to use that

11/6/2009 1:03:14 PM

Mr. Joshua
Swimfanfan
43948 Posts
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Quote :
"(806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"..."


Quote :
"(334): Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama."

11/8/2009 6:15:21 PM

TragicNature
All American
11805 Posts
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^prolly a kids birthday party

11/9/2009 4:03:19 AM

nicklepickle
All American
11693 Posts
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ive never had much interest in this site

11/9/2009 11:13:45 AM

Jeepxj420
All American
6755 Posts
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Quote :
"(517): the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed""




sooooo true

11/9/2009 6:57:50 PM

ThePeter
TWW CHAMPION
37709 Posts
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Quote :
" (785): Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless. "


Made me think of Jen

Quote :
" (952): I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga "


Quote :
" (515): Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye? "


Quote :
" (901): guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching. "


Quote :
" (267): like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage "


Quote :
" (305): I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming. "




Quote :
"(919): he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer. "


wat

11/14/2009 6:12:31 PM

thegoodoctor
All American
1670 Posts
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taste the rainbow?

11/14/2009 8:52:16 PM

LRlilDaddy
All American
6511 Posts
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Quote :
"(267): like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage "


haha, true that

11/16/2009 3:34:31 PM

begonias
warning: not serious
19585 Posts
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Quote :
"(636): we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle""


Quote :
"(512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried"

11/20/2009 8:22:47 AM

surfer_boy6
All American
2071 Posts
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Quote :
" (817): Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day "

11/21/2009 12:08:08 PM

ScHpEnXeL
Suspended
32613 Posts
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Quote :
" (857): Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7' "

11/29/2009 11:28:27 AM

AndyMac
All American
31924 Posts
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Quote :
"(512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried"


Hahaha

That's a hilarious image.

11/29/2009 12:38:02 PM

ThePeter
TWW CHAMPION
37709 Posts
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Quote :
" (919): i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap. woke up without a hangover. all for $20 "

11/30/2009 12:06:04 PM

LunaK
LOSER :(
23634 Posts
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^ ha nice

11/30/2009 12:12:07 PM

wolfpak4life
Veteran
304 Posts
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(541):
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward



this might be my new GOAT of tflns

1/15/2010 3:56:55 PM

crazy_carl
All American
4073 Posts
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^must try this

1/15/2010 5:17:36 PM

Biofreak70
All American
33197 Posts
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hahahaha that is awesome

1/15/2010 5:29:18 PM

ScHpEnXeL
Suspended
32613 Posts
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ahahaha

1/15/2010 5:50:03 PM

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