p2

2/26/2009 9:26:17 PM

2.02 pages of crap

[Edited on February 26, 2009 at 9:26 PM. Reason : sdf]

2/26/2009 9:26:17 PM

>.<

2/26/2009 9:26:53 PM

Not much comes to mind of things that I've done, but when I was 16/17 I worked at a local Seafood restaurant and McDonalds and I worked with some interesting characters.

Seafood restaurant:

A guy I worked with frequently "cleaned" the bathrooms by rolling the mop in there and using the bathroom and rolling out, not cleaning anything. He was a busboy and one day while standing in the middle of the restaurant he started acting like he was jacking off a broom handle. Some customers saw him, thought it was hilarious, but didn't say anything.

The kitchen staff would get drunk every night and he'd go out and move their cars and stuff. People sold mad drugs out of the back of that place.

I accidentally "splashed" some lady with some water when cleaning a table (she showed me her arm were it splashed and I couldn't see anything); I apologized and she said, "don't worry, I won't tell your manager." About five mins later the manager (a continually pissy woman) came to me telling me a customer said I doused her with water.


McDonalds:

I worked breakfast and dinner shifts occasionally. For starters, every employee avoided cleaning the bathrooms at all cost. The night shift would frequently leave that for the breakfast shift, who would leave it for lunch shift, who left it for night shift, and so on....

Several employees would go into the freezer and drink the chocolate milks and eat the food we had. One manager told me when he quit the last McDonalds he worked at, on his last day, he threw the master key set into the garbage compactor and locked the machine shut.

One time this new guy started, Ghaz, I think he was Iranian. He worked for about two weeks, never said a word and quit because we were "mistreating him".

We did catch an employee jacking off in his car in the parking lot at about 5am one day. When he came back inside the whole staff was singing "Beat It." He never came back.

One time I was working for my uncles and I parked their 20000 lb loader on a hill EXACLTY where I found it. I think my heart stopped when I heard the wheels groaning as I was walking away. Well, the air brakes gave out and it started rolling down the hill. I had to chase it down and stop it.

2/26/2009 9:56:43 PM

I worked at a GNC for a summer. People would always buy Hydroxycut and then return it because they didn't like the way it made them all jittery (this was back when they had the good shit in them). Once a seal had been broken we had to throw out the whole bottle. I ended up stashing them in the back and getting whacked out on diet pills on days when I came in hungover.

2/27/2009 1:49:11 AM

^ lol

2/27/2009 1:51:41 AM

talking on a cell while on the clock

2/27/2009 5:53:17 AM

I think the only reason I'm still around is that I'm doing the work that a $60k engineer does, for $10/hour.

2/27/2009 6:18:27 AM

The Ceo asked me to clean his watch.
luckily I asked if it was water proof and he said yeah up to 20m.
well I start cleaning it and bubbles start getting into the face oh shit!

I look at the watch -marked platinum, the make Patek Phillipe. oh shit more.
Yeah so I destroyed a 60k watch.

he was cool about it, but all my co-workers told me to pack up my shit.

2/27/2009 3:25:58 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxGszZXfIS4
i was taking the video with my phone

2/27/2009 3:46:37 PM

^^ Whoa. That doesn't sound like your fault.

2/27/2009 4:26:04 PM

Hahaha he asked you personally to clean his watch? I wouldnt know how to do that shit.

2/27/2009 5:31:44 PM

You should have pulled a Chris Walken and just put it up your ass for the rest of the workday.

2/27/2009 5:33:29 PM

Threatening to punch a customer in the face.
No lie.

2/27/2009 5:54:13 PM

spending time during the workday on here.
no lie.

2/27/2009 6:17:22 PM

Once, working at a bike shop, customer came in with seized up seatpost to be removed. Rather than tell him that he was outta luck, I assured him I could get it out, no problem.

2 hours and 2 more techs later, we were using a blowtorch, grinding wheel, and bench vise....to completely destroy the frame.

Ended up having to comp him a new frame, at the shop's expense.

Definitely shoulda been shitcanned for that one, given the extremely limited budget.

-------------

Working as a valet at a Furniture Market event, took a customer's Porsche out for a hot lap around the neighborhood. Curbed the fuck out of the rear passenger side wheel. Boss saw it, customer didnt...probably the only reason I kept the job.

2/27/2009 6:26:00 PM

spending the night in my girlfriend's room just about every night instead of my own (I was an RA at the time)

totaled a golf cart while off-roading behind the golf course I worked at

stealing liquor from the bar at the country club

4 hour lunch breaks

using the company truck to move my stuff from one apartment to another

2/27/2009 6:37:13 PM

Quote :

"(this was back when they had the good shit in them)"

damn i miss the good shit

2/27/2009 6:41:10 PM

when i was in high school i worked at the ymca and i hooked up with another lifeguard in the supply closet

[Edited on February 27, 2009 at 6:42 PM. Reason : ]

2/27/2009 6:42:21 PM

when i was 16 worked at a Home Depot-like place.

some dude had set a small part the wall of the back receiving bathroom on fire with some lighter fluid. i came in after the fact and saw it, but rather than report it I squirted a huge amount of fluid on the wall and lit it... it left a massive scorched area on the wall, way worse than the first. (the walls were painted cinderblock)

we were the primary suspects. we both knew what the other had done, and managment was interrogating us. they knew one or both of us was in on it, but we were each steadily denying involvement and trying to wait out the other guy.

the first dude wound up confessing to it the next day when they threatened to bring police forensics and a lie detector.

i never admitted anything. my manager said he "knew i was in on it some way, but couldnt prove it" and transferred me from Electrical Dept. to the Lawn and Garden center.

where i met up with a friend from my high school, and a bunch of us just smoked pot and inhaled nitrous whippets all day back in the corner behind the plant food.




[Edited on February 27, 2009 at 6:46 PM. Reason : ]

2/27/2009 6:44:05 PM

ttt

3/4/2009 8:41:56 PM

i passed out from half a bottle of jamison drinking with some coworkers in my office on capitol hill (like in the house office buildings when i worked there)....threw up at my desk and then passed out in my chair....wandered out at like 3 am and one of my coworkers paid a guy to clean it up but i belived that everyone would get into the office and see puke EVERYWHERE because i didnt know it got cleaned up

it was a good day when i got in and saw a clean desk

3/4/2009 8:46:35 PM

i have several note worthy offenses that i could post...

however...most of them ended up making me money for my job....


but maybe not quite the way the powers that be would approve of

3/4/2009 8:50:20 PM