2 pages of morbid fuckers

10/19/2009 3:07:03 PM

At least I'm taking some hos with me.

10/19/2009 3:17:16 PM

Quote :

"nice then some retard a few thousand years later can extract your dna and make an ill conceived theme park"

haha, but being frozen in amber would be a good way to live forever. i want to be frozen until they figure out how to cure death

10/19/2009 3:29:20 PM

You might be "frozen" (your word) in amber, but your insides are still decaying. They may in the future be able to extend life indefinitely and prevent damage that would lead to death, but I seriously doubt once someone has been dead for an extended period that they will ever be able to "cure" that condition.

10/19/2009 3:32:28 PM

Ideally, my funeral would be this:

When people walk into the funeral home, the first thing they see will be an ornate dais covered in velvet, upon which reclines an orangutan wearing a crown and holding a scepter, possibly while being fed grapes by a prostitute dressed as a harem girl.

The eulogy will be delivered by an Orson Welles impersonator wearing a dark robe. On one shoulder will sit a monkey, also in a robe. The actor will give a fairly typical speech about my life (albeit in a deep, moving voice), then end it by announcing that I am going to spend eternity "...in HELL!" At that, the monkey is to throw its hands in the air and shriek.

Then people can proceed to the open bar, but only if they remembered to come to the funeral covered in sackcloth and ashes.

Realistically, my funeral will be me lying in a gutter while the other homeless people fight over what's left of my shoes.

10/19/2009 3:37:49 PM

to correct myself i was using two different definitions for the word frozen. the first being motionless, the second being actually frozen like cryogenically. sorry for the mixup DB

10/19/2009 3:39:39 PM

Everybody I've known to be cremated has still had a funeral.

I understand, Lucy. I don't think funerals should be so expensive, either.

But weddings are good excuses to party, so the bigger the better!

10/19/2009 3:42:23 PM

I will most likely have an Irish wake.

10/19/2009 3:45:57 PM

I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more since the dead started sittin' up too.

10/19/2009 3:53:32 PM

yeah i want my death to be a celebration

10/19/2009 4:00:22 PM

exactly celebrating the life one lived

10/19/2009 4:05:46 PM