No way I'd ever sell you, Meteor.
Not in a million years.



But just for laughs,
let's see how much you're worth.

2/11/2010 7:01:39 PM

Yeah, that's a space peanut.

2/11/2010 7:03:13 PM

I'm new! I don't know what to do!

2/11/2010 7:08:38 PM

I'd love to beat your ass
up and down this place.



I got to go back to work.



Joe Dirt. You're fired.
Here's your week's pay.



Dang.

2/11/2010 7:09:46 PM

Luckily, my neck broke my fall.

2/11/2010 7:10:23 PM

Don't you get it? Stinky stuff is your milieu. Okay? This is your deal. You are an underachievement nexus of the universe.

2/11/2010 7:10:43 PM

You're saying you have no black cats,
Roman candles or screaming meemies?



Come on. You don't got no ladyfingers,
buzz bottles, snicker bombs...



...church burners, finger blasters, gut
busters, zippedy-doodas, crap flappers?



No, I don't.



You're gonna stand there,
owning a fireworks stand...



...and say you have
no whistling bungholes...



...spleen splitters, whisker biscuits,
honkey lighters, Hüsker Düs and don'ts.



Cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with
or without the scooter stick...



...or one single
whistling kitty-chaser?



No.



Because snakes and sparklers
are the only ones I like.



That might be your problem.



It's not what you like.
It's the consumer.

2/11/2010 7:13:22 PM

Feast your eyes on a feast of smoke.
Oh, dang. It's out.

2/11/2010 7:13:48 PM

ahahah Kickin' Wing's gay ass

2/11/2010 7:13:56 PM

Now even you liked the way
that chick looked. Didn't you?



" Even me?" What's that mean?



Just saying, I'm beginning to doubt
your hetero street credentials.

2/11/2010 7:16:21 PM

It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.

2/11/2010 7:22:40 PM

Well, well. Lookie here.



Corn off the cob.



This kid should get his money back.

2/12/2010 3:00:15 AM

THE REAL STUFF


NOT THAT PUSSY SKOAL

2/12/2010 6:31:12 AM

epic double posts ITT

2/12/2010 7:20:40 AM

Rule number one: I'm number one.

2/12/2010 10:14:30 AM

Goddamn, you out-of-date, boy.

2/12/2010 10:17:17 AM

This here is Rocky.



And he ain't no puppy.

2/12/2010 10:18:23 AM

" Dear Robbie...



...if Joe calls, don't tell him...



...l found his parents.



I'll be back in a few days."



See, she signed it
right there. " Brandy."



"X-O-X-O."



That's right, Dirt.

2/12/2010 10:21:37 AM

Hey, Carson, how big is your Johnny?

2/12/2010 10:25:27 AM

Is that where you were?



Well, I'll be dipped.



The one place we didn't look.

2/12/2010 10:26:53 AM

How exactly does the posi-trac
rear end on a Plymouth work?



-It just does.
-It just does.

2/12/2010 10:29:45 AM

I'll clean that up lickity split. Speaking of lickity split let's meet up later see what's going on. I'm kidding. But seriously, let's hook up.

2/12/2010 10:31:10 AM

I want to get married
and have little Joe Dirts.



Come home, Joe.

2/12/2010 10:32:03 AM

Hey, Dirt. I thought I told you,
buddy. Nobody wants you around.

2/12/2010 10:34:06 AM

"Does this look like a piece of crap to you? Like them spinnin' tires do you?"
"You suck!"
"You do!"

2/12/2010 10:39:21 AM

he puts the lotion on the skin

2/12/2010 10:41:22 AM

I hear people.

2/12/2010 10:43:34 AM

I'm only doing this because I heard that Buffalo Bob shoved a road flare up your bunghole.

WHAT?!?!

Hoo rah.

2/13/2010 12:30:22 PM

A hemi?

Balls to the wall.

2/14/2010 12:15:28 PM

Yeah, shot in the head 6 times, New York City.... I mean Kansas.

2/14/2010 12:56:56 PM

Hey look, the janitor's gonna eat the puke!

2/14/2010 3:12:02 PM

not here.... kansas.

3/28/2010 2:34:06 PM

A town is a place where everyone hates you.

3/28/2010 3:01:33 PM

Keep that skoal baby

3/28/2010 8:21:54 PM