I thought if I joined the Wolf Web I could mack on some fine chicas and get some ass

3/19/2009 1:40:04 AM

3!

[Edited on March 19, 2009 at 1:40 AM. Reason : ah, 2 seconds too late]

3/19/2009 1:40:06 AM

^^ strangest of all

3/19/2009 1:43:08 AM

if you touch someone else's blood, then you get AIDS.

3/19/2009 1:46:02 AM

Here is a new one I thought of. I didn't understand commercials. So if I was watching tv and my mom, or someone, called me to do something I would turn off the tv to freeze everything in place. I think my attention span was rediculously short because I did this up until I was probably 6. I guess I would usually just forget what I was watching before I came back.

On a side note; did any of you ever used to watch Zoobily Zoo?

3/19/2009 8:21:37 AM

i used to think that songs were like 20 minutes long.

i also used to think that "5 more minutes!" was forever

3/19/2009 10:19:48 AM

- i used to think that the 1950s was a time period that actually existed in black and white and that color didn't come into play for the world for a long time.

3/19/2009 12:51:00 PM

I thought that I could control the weather by doing a rain dance. I was probably 5 or so...

But I did a rain dance, and about 2 minutes later, it started to rain. Yep...that one sampling was enough in my book to convince me it wasn't just a coincidence....

3/19/2009 12:57:43 PM

I never understood lyrics.. I thought people just made sounds that sounded nice..

3/19/2009 1:23:37 PM

^^ I did something similar and it worked!

3/19/2009 1:24:10 PM

-Me and my sisters always called chest of drawers "Chester Drawers"

-And whenever my mom or grandparents said "God Almighty" I thought they were saying "Goddamaudy" And finally asked my mom what exactly that meant.

-And anytime I would take medicine my mom would say I was taking little soldiers into my body to fight off the bad germs and so I would pictures this battle scene of antibiotics vs. viruses. It made me feel better.

3/19/2009 1:34:54 PM

^With nanotechnology, your mom won't be far off.

We're gonna start injecting teeny robots into our bodies, and they'll go around and do good shit for us.

3/19/2009 1:38:09 PM

Quote :

"i also thought my stuffed animals would be mad/jealous if they couldn't all sleep in my bed with me. so i slept with like 50 stuffed animals"

I also did this. I didn't make my bed in the morning though. But I would rotate which stuffed animal would sleep beside me every night so none of them felt left out!

3/19/2009 1:41:25 PM

i used to think that if AlliePaige would snuggle with me after we made love my weenie would fall off. thanks god i am done with that belief!

3/19/2009 1:56:09 PM

that there was a witch that lived in one of my grandparents' toilets that would come out when you flush. as a result i would also flush the toilet and run

3/19/2009 5:57:17 PM

I used to think people gave a fuck about women's basketball.

Once I found out otherwise, my childhood dreams of playing in the WNBA were crushed.

I'm kinda too short for that anyways.

3/19/2009 5:59:55 PM

As a kid, for some reason I thought that Freddy Krueger would jump out of the toilet whenever I flushed. So every time I flushed, I'd run like hell out of the bathroom.

3/19/2009 6:05:33 PM

i thought my stuffles would get jealous if i didn´t sleep with all of them

i thought the monsters could only get what was outside the overs other than my head

somehow it took me the longest time to figure out that 1) unmarried people have sex, 2) unmarried people can have kids and 3) sex brings about kids instead of marriage bringing about kids. i also thought that people in porn got married long enough to make the porn then got divorced so they´d never sleep with someone they aren´t married to.


i was a weird kid

3/19/2009 6:40:25 PM

I thought that if you got to close to a drain on the side of the house, a black rubber hand would grab you. i stayed away at all costs

[Edited on March 20, 2009 at 2:11 PM. Reason : .]

3/20/2009 1:53:47 PM

I thought of another one today:

I used to do swim meets/practice at the YMCA and in the deep end there is this huge grate at the bottom. I used to think a shark or something worse would come out and gobble me up so I swam super fast over it. I still don't like swimming over it.

3/20/2009 2:04:09 PM

^ ME TOO!!! seriously. that same thing. or i would think that i would get sucked down it. i still don't like swimming over those giant grates either. those things are scary

3/20/2009 2:05:03 PM

I thought my penis was a periscope

3/20/2009 2:09:12 PM

did you try to look through/up/into it? isn't that what a periscope is? like on a submarine?!

3/20/2009 2:10:22 PM

My uncle used to tell me he'd take my batteries out if I didn't behave, and I absolutely believed him and it scared me to death.

3/20/2009 2:12:10 PM

God

3/20/2009 2:13:34 PM

Quote :

"i would think that i would get sucked down it."

Yeah, there were stories going around of little kids sitting on the grates/drains in the kiddy pool and having their intestines sucked out. So even though the grate was like 8 feet or more below me I still was super scared of what would come out or that something would suck me in. Even thinking about it now gives me the heeby jeebies!

3/20/2009 2:14:17 PM

i used to think dogs could pee fire

like a nightmare on elm street part 4

3/20/2009 2:16:05 PM

^Dogs peeing fire would be badass.


Another one I recently remembered, I thought that turn signals on a car "activated" the steering wheel. I just kinda thought that the car followed the road and when you hit the turn signal it would "unlock" the steering wheel to turn onto a different road.

3/20/2009 3:10:58 PM

dishes were supposed to go in the dishwasher a certain way
that the world used to not be in color thanks to black and white movies

3/20/2009 3:28:21 PM

I thought that the automatic sliding doors at the grocery store didn't have motion detectors, instead they actually had a guy in the back of the store watching you on camera who would press a button to open the door when you approached it.

As such, I would always wave at the motion detector to thank the man.

3/20/2009 3:32:27 PM

...but the dishes do have to go in a certain way.

3/20/2009 3:32:33 PM

I remember having a fit when I was 6 years old bc my brother was putting the dishes in the wrong way. The right way was my grandma's way.

3/20/2009 3:36:38 PM

I was a bit older at this point but the guy from Scream lived in my house. If I had to go from the kitched to my room I would (with the kitchen light already on) turn on the hall light, go back and shut off the kitched light, peak around the corner to my room, turn on my light, go back and shut off the hall light, then run into my room and lock the door. Then came the closet and bed check.

3/26/2009 9:50:05 AM

Quote :

"I thought my penis was a periscope"

lol

3/26/2009 9:58:18 AM

Quote :

"My uncle used to tell me he'd take my batteries out if I didn't behave, and I absolutely believed him and it scared me to death"

hilarious

3/26/2009 10:08:40 AM

I was terrified of Vincent Price. My parents would have to turn the channel if anything with him (even commecials) came on or I would cry.

I was also afraid of bald men...I don't remember why though.

3/26/2009 10:11:25 AM

^^ Not at the time it wasn't

That also reminds me of the time I was at a friend's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's and she was tugging on his coattail so I did it too, and he turned around and put his hands on his hips and tapped his foot at me ... and I lost it. I just ran to my mom and started bawling because I thought Chuck was really mad at me. I never went back there.

3/26/2009 10:23:06 AM

i couldnt have any of my dolls looking at me when i slept if i made eye contact with them i got freaked out

like they were going to kill me or something

3/26/2009 12:35:41 PM

3/26/2009 12:43:43 PM

- that some people could actually detach their thumbs

- that monkeys took my sippy cup during a weekend trip to the mountains, and therefore i had to drink from grown folks cups (this was when I was 4 years old in India). I must've been pretty attached to that sippy cup.

- my grandfather convinced me that these things holding up power lines were actually benevolent giants that were alive, and it was their job to stand all day holding up wires:






[Edited on March 26, 2009 at 12:57 PM. Reason : ]

3/26/2009 12:53:43 PM

I used to think murders were few and far between, and when one happened it was national news.

I realized otherwise when I saw some statistic about New York gang murders.

3/26/2009 12:57:06 PM

my dad used to tell me airplanes in the sky at night were UFOs. I believed that forever.
He also used to say if you talk to yourself, you are talking to the devil. So I was always afraid of that.

3/26/2009 1:18:44 PM

Amna, I think your dad was just trying to tell you that you're evil.

3/26/2009 2:07:14 PM

okay, this thread is mostly super cute

Quote :

"I would always wave at the motion detector to thank the man."

Quote :

"my grandfather convinced me that these things holding up power lines were actually benevolent giants that were alive, and it was their job to stand all day holding up wires:"

3/26/2009 2:13:35 PM

I thought that Jesus' symbol was the cross before he was crucified, and so they killed him on his own symbol just to add insult to injury

3/26/2009 2:18:09 PM

^woah.

This thread is cute, but some of the things that you people use to believe just shows how adults don't realize how the things that they say go over with the wee ones.
--

After seeing the movie Piranha, I was terrified to go in or near the water. I thought that flesh eating fish would fly up out of the water to eat you. Like you didn't even have to go IN the water.

Oh, and I was also afraid of Mr. Boogedy. My little brother would run around yelling Boogedy Boogedy Boo and I would cry.

[Edited on March 26, 2009 at 2:33 PM. Reason : doh.]

3/26/2009 2:32:43 PM

^^ and

Quote :

"i couldnt have any of my dolls looking at me when i slept if i made eye contact with them i got freaked out like they were going to kill me or something"

hahahaha

[Edited on March 26, 2009 at 2:37 PM. Reason : .]

3/26/2009 2:36:34 PM

i told my little brother once that when you farted it was like your ass was blowing a bubbleicious bubble and he spent a good 3-4 weeks trying to see his own fart bubble after he farted.

never was successful...

3/26/2009 2:39:57 PM

I liked to play with my little brother's hair, so I told him that he had ant eggs in his hair and he's squeal for me to get them out.

3/26/2009 3:00:36 PM

^ hahahaa WOW That is soooo gross!!

3/26/2009 3:02:18 PM