4

3/26/2009 3:03:20 PM

god

I guess someone already made that joke though, eh?

3/26/2009 3:54:48 PM

We always used to shop at the old Kmart in Greensboro on West Market when I was a kid, which was very similar to the one on Western...it had those same bigass round vents in the ceiling, and I was afraid that if I walked under one, it would turn on like a vacuum and suck me up into it. To this day I don't like walking under them, especially noisy ones.

3/26/2009 3:59:24 PM

when i was like 4 or 5 i thought the moon was made of cheese

3/26/2009 4:00:54 PM

Waving your hand under the running shower head to check the temperature was essential to the process of the water getting warm.

If you didn't do it then you wouldn't get hot water.

5/20/2009 3:35:27 PM

- I believed in Santa Claus until freaking fifth grade

- I thought my grandparents' pool vacuum chased people and would suck them down if it caught them

- If I drew a picture and put it under my pillow, I'd have that dream. I drew a picture of me in the Honey I Shrunk the Kids movie, but I didn't have a dream about it

- I thought of even numbers as good guys and odd numbers as bad guys.
2 even numbers worked together, and made another even number.
2 odd numbers wouldn't get along, and would make an even number.
But an odd plus an even number would make an odd number, because odd numbers were stronger.

[Edited on May 20, 2009 at 4:24 PM. Reason : .]

5/20/2009 4:18:29 PM

When I was really young... like 4 or 5.... I used to call any industrial building with a smokestack or steam vent or anything like that on top of it a "cloud factory".

5/20/2009 4:22:47 PM

Quote :

"-Cats and Dogs were the same species, the cat was the girl and the dog was the boy"

I believed that too!

I also thought that if I reset my watch 5-10 minutes late, I'd still come home "on time"

I would see "shadow people" (a man dressed in all black) and thought that maybe I was evil. Then one day I saw a man dressed the same except in all white and I've never seen them since. Silly brain development... Never scared me as much as it did intrigue me about who these strangers were in my house.

[Edited on May 20, 2009 at 5:09 PM. Reason : .]

5/20/2009 5:08:42 PM

when my big sister would pick on me, I would tell my mom that one day I would be older than her and get her back

5/20/2009 6:17:07 PM

after my mom told me about sex, I asked what would happen if kids my age did it

she told me they would go to prison, which I believed until middle school

5/20/2009 6:25:41 PM

Quote :

"Me and my sisters always called chest of drawers "Chester Drawers" "

yes

My dad convinced me that if I cut out paper wings and flapped my arms hard enough and ran as fast as I could through the yard I could fly.

5/20/2009 6:36:25 PM

I called the matinee the manatee and once I asked a black man if he was made of chocolate..... I think my mom was embarrassed by that one.

5/20/2009 7:01:33 PM

Quote :

"once I asked a black man if he was made of chocolate"

that is strangely awesome and hilarious

out of curiosity... what did the black guy do?

[Edited on May 20, 2009 at 7:03 PM. Reason : .]

5/20/2009 7:02:16 PM

I thought that flamingos were called pinkguins

5/20/2009 7:02:33 PM

^^ He thought it was pretty funny too my mom.. not so much haha

and one time my cousin convinced me my Barbies would come to life in the middle of the night and hurt me

[Edited on May 20, 2009 at 7:07 PM. Reason : he just laughed and said no ]

5/20/2009 7:03:46 PM

they do

5/20/2009 7:04:22 PM

^ Well the joke ended up being on her because the Barbie that happened to be on the floor by the door really started moving... and we were completely freaked out... Then we finally got up the courage to open the door and it was my damn cat moving it around through the crack. So I guess she got a taste of her own medicine

5/20/2009 7:06:47 PM

I used to think dogs only fuck each other up the ass.

5/20/2009 7:11:13 PM

my brother convinced me the womans navel on the body spray commercial was her vajayjay

5/20/2009 7:59:35 PM

I used to think women pooped out their babies

5/21/2009 2:57:48 AM

- My middle name is Leigh, and I remember getting so mad at my parents in like 1st grade and asked them why they spelled my name wrong. I found a math book from 1st grade where I wrote Bethany Lee on the name line. I asked them why they didn't ask someone else how to spell 'Lee' before they made it final. But I really love my name!

- If you peed in the pool you'd get a red ring around you.

- There were monsters in my room every night. I'd wake up in the middle of the night every night till I was like 10 and go get in my parents bed.

- I believed in Santa for a long time.

[Edited on May 21, 2009 at 11:37 AM. Reason : ]

5/21/2009 11:35:56 AM

i might have already posted this in here

but i had a fox and a raccoon poster on my wall when i was little (like the kind you got at elementary school book fairs!)

and after i saw old yeller i was like terrified of rabies and i used to the the fox and raccoon would come alive in the night and bite me and give me rabies. i had a very vivid imagination.

5/21/2009 11:41:06 AM

Oh that Barbie story reminded me of this!

My friend Jessica and I used to really be into trolls. We had huge collections of them. One night she was over and we were playing nursery or something. She and I had these matching stuffed trolls, made of cloth. We went to the kitchen for some water, and when we came back. We both saw it at the same time - THE FRICKING TROLL BLINKED!!!!! I am not lying, and to this day, I can tell you that trolls are evil and it really did blink. We both saw it, and went screaming to my Dad. We made him go put it outside, and later asked him to burn all of them. They thought we were joking, but we were terrified and would not have made something like that up; and they finally believed us.

5/21/2009 11:50:23 AM

When I was in 1st grade a girl told me I cut her when I got in front of her in line. I remember demanding her to show me where I cut her.

[Edited on May 21, 2009 at 12:05 PM. Reason : ugh]

5/21/2009 12:03:58 PM

I used to think that if you got your name on the board it would go in your permanent record.

God help you if you got sent to the office.

5/21/2009 12:51:08 PM

I didn't grasp the concept airports. I was waiting for my mom to come home from a trip one night and wondering when she'd parachute into the backyard.

Did anyone tell their parents to "Just write a check" when they didn't have money for stuff?

5/21/2009 1:03:33 PM

Quote :

"I was told that if you swallow gum it will stay in you for a year, but that isn't true."

glad you cleared that one up. I heard it was 7 years though.

- I beleived all the mirror horror stories as a kid (i.e. candyman and bloody mary)

5/21/2009 1:30:04 PM

and the yellow first down line......... man you guys must be young. they didnt have that shit till i was like 18

5/21/2009 1:31:15 PM

I didn't know that boys had balls until I got the internet when I was 15...

5/21/2009 1:33:11 PM

Quote :

"Did anyone tell their parents to "Just write a check" when they didn't have money for stuff?"

I said "well lets go to the bank and get some more !" like it was a infinite resource and they were just lazy for not having enough of it on their person

5/21/2009 1:41:30 PM

I thought that all wars were fought between "good guys" and "bad guys"

I asked my dad who were the "good guys" and "bad guys" in the American Civil War, and he wouldn't give me a straight answer, and it got really exasperating because it seemed such a simple question

5/21/2009 2:21:26 PM