4

5/2/2009 3:42:31 PM

Quote :

"(919): Heybabeimwearingurpanties"

5/2/2009 4:56:20 PM

Quote :

"(541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested"

5/2/2009 6:37:14 PM

Quote :

"(330): How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there..."

5/3/2009 5:44:49 AM

Are people really this whorish?

5/3/2009 9:39:05 AM

Quote :

"(225): you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!? (504): im sorry, i don't get text messages."

5/3/2009 1:04:55 PM

^^ yes... Sex in the City is not a drama... it's a reality series based on true events...

5/3/2009 3:44:05 PM

Quote :

""(914): Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.""

LOL. win.

5/3/2009 4:30:13 PM

I believe that's a symptom of being irradiated according to Fallout 3....

5/3/2009 4:34:44 PM

Quote :

"(630): but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up."

Quote :

"(678): Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry. "

Quote :

"(206): I will die if light touches me. "

Quote :

"(573): Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it. "

Quote :

"(775): just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos."

Quote :

"(206): would you consider dating someone with braces an investment? "

Quote :

"(516): If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals. "

5/3/2009 7:44:46 PM

Quote :

""(513): Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs""

i just lold all over myself to that one and i dont know why

5/3/2009 8:55:25 PM

Quote :

"(208): weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake"

Quote :

"(303): Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe."

Quote :

"(312): You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?"

Quote :

"(678): why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning? (770): I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle"

Quote :

"(218): No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus"

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 10:43 AM. Reason : ]

5/4/2009 10:43:05 AM

Quote :

"(215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless."

Quote :

"(303): Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe."

Quote :

"(805): I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait."

We haven't had any good 919 ones yet:

Quote :

"(919): I thidmdmk you'gre a special person"

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 10:48 AM. Reason : 919]

5/4/2009 10:46:44 AM

Quote :

"(803): I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you Labels: (803)"

Quote :

"(773): Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman? Labels: (773)"

[Edited on May 4, 2009 at 11:13 AM. Reason : .]

5/4/2009 10:51:41 AM

Quote :

"(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth."

Quote :

"(908): You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals"

5/4/2009 3:50:06 PM

Quote :

"(508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon"

Quote :

"(317): why did u let me go home with him last night? (260): u were determined it was a good idea"

Quote :

"(512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends?"

5/4/2009 6:52:24 PM

Quote :

"(310): she cant drink. allergic to alcohol. (1-310): ewwww. she might as well have a dick."

5/4/2009 9:18:15 PM

Quote :

"(513): Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs"

Quote :

"i just lold all over myself to that one "

hahhaha me too

5/4/2009 9:22:31 PM

Quote :

"(512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends?"

hahahaha i love the placement of the comma makes it sound better in my head.

5/4/2009 9:27:57 PM

Quote :

"(301): porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out."

5/4/2009 10:27:24 PM

Quote :

"(812): Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background. (917): Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex. (812): Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds."

Quote :

"(508): hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi (214): ok, stay where you are, be there soon"

Quote :

"(610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually "

5/5/2009 12:15:11 AM

Quote :

"(215): Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless."

the look on her face as he pushes her out of the hotel window into the bushes below: worth the $245.

5/5/2009 1:12:40 AM

what a bitch

[Edited on May 5, 2009 at 2:00 AM. Reason : ]

5/5/2009 2:00:03 AM

i loled:

Quote :

"(214): dude. I'm so drunk. (972): pete, this is bryce's mom (214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass (972): pete, this is still bryce's mom"

5/5/2009 2:45:44 AM

you think they're gay or he hitting on that milf?

5/5/2009 2:55:28 AM

Quote :

"(203): The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar."

Quote :

"(314): Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship..."

5/5/2009 8:36:46 AM

Quote :

"(804): You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic. (1-804): If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator."

Quote :

"(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth."

^which one of you was this?

5/5/2009 9:39:07 AM

haha..i've so done that back before i was 21. i was at a club in Savannah and ppl would leave their drinks on a table while they went to dance..the place was packed and i'd just wander up and drink after ppl

i got strep.

5/5/2009 9:41:08 AM

it is extremely funny until someone swigs a beer bottle full of tobacco spit

5/5/2009 9:45:14 AM

^^

no way i could just drink after random people i don't know.. i'd be paranoid i'd catch something.. f that.

5/5/2009 9:47:51 AM

i was already wasted or i wouldnt have. at first i honestly thought i was drinking after the girls i was with..then realize i wasn't and pretty much said f it and kept drinking

5/5/2009 9:48:33 AM

^hahah. at least in your case it started with thinking it was the drink of someone you knew, at that point you already started, so oh well..

dont think i could knowingly just walk around and drink random people's drinks though, yikes

5/5/2009 9:52:53 AM

One night i was out to meet some friends downtown at red room/bogarts (about 4 years ago, i wouldn't go there now) when i ran into some other people i knew. these guys were partying hard and one guy busted me into the line took me up front and said that they forgot to stamp my hand when i came in earlier and they needed to do it, without question they did. we then later went into bogarts and they proceeded to drink from all the random half full glasses around the bar as they waited to get their drinks ordered. at this point i did a and left to meet those i was supposed to be with.

5/5/2009 10:00:58 AM

Drinking from other peoples cups is like the bane of existance for any 13-18 year old year kid at social gathering

I had a sniper's eye whenever someone put a beer, cocktail or merlot down and would move across the room at extreme speeds to claim my bounty

and when you're that age, you get drunk pretty quick, so double bonus

5/5/2009 10:01:45 AM

"With the speed of a thousand ninjas"

-pilgrimshoes

5/5/2009 10:03:34 AM

Quote :

"it is extremely funny until someone swigs a beer bottle full of tobacco spit"

i took a swig of my latte as i read this and damn near threw it back up

5/5/2009 10:04:13 AM

i've never heard of this whole drinking out of someone's drink phenomenon.

5/5/2009 10:12:03 AM

I was raised by drunks so I became a drunk

It was the only consistent way for me to get pissed back in early high school

5/5/2009 10:13:10 AM

Quote :

"(203): The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar. "

I love this website

5/5/2009 12:41:19 PM

Quote :

"it is extremely funny until someone swigs a beer bottle full of tobacco spit"

I've done this but it was out of a Wendy's cup...I didn't know it was in there...Got a big surprise

5/5/2009 12:48:30 PM

Quote :

"(330): so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv. "

5/5/2009 12:53:22 PM

^^did the same thing, only it was urine. My bf at the time spent hours driving for his job everyday, so if he had to pee he'd use an old coffee cup and toss it out he window. Sometimes he forgot. One day he picked me up for lunch, and being my freshman year I was in this constant puppy-hyper-artsy mentality and never looked after myself, so I was always dehydrated.

First thing I did was grab a nearby coffee cup in his truck and swig. I was so thirsty I didn't ask him if I could, or he would have told me what was in it. Of course, he didn't notice, so he didn't tell me what it was before I took the second swig, either.

I was very thirsty, ok?

5/5/2009 12:58:43 PM

5/5/2009 1:10:53 PM

Quote :

"(859): I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them. (1-859): Well... I doubt that."

Quote :

"(205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand..."

Quote :

"(805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. "

been there, done that

[Edited on May 5, 2009 at 1:32 PM. Reason : ,]

5/5/2009 1:31:44 PM

5/5/2009 1:33:53 PM

5/5/2009 1:49:05 PM

Quote :

"My bf at the time spent hours driving for his job everyday, so if he had to pee he'd use an old coffee cup and toss it out he window. Sometimes he forgot. One day he picked me up for lunch, and being my freshman year I was in this constant puppy-hyper-artsy mentality and never looked after myself, so I was always dehydrated. First thing I did was grab a nearby coffee cup in his truck and swig. I was so thirsty I didn't ask him if I could, or he would have told me what was in it. Of course, he didn't notice, so he didn't tell me what it was before I took the second swig, either."

5/5/2009 2:13:29 PM

the second swig is what makes it your fault

fool me once, shame on you

fool me twice, shame on me

5/5/2009 2:14:40 PM

Quote :

"(312): Text. Mid BJ. 8 points."

Quote :

"(661): So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick""

[Edited on May 5, 2009 at 2:21 PM. Reason : ]

5/5/2009 2:19:10 PM

set em up

5/5/2009 2:28:34 PM