[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 5:22 PM. Reason : 2]

4/29/2008 5:22:08 PM

I was just thinking about colonics.....and magnesium citrate. Magnesium is supposed to get everything out your bowels right? And so are colonics...? One just cost a lot more and can't be done in the privacy of your own home right?

4/29/2008 5:26:40 PM

ew

4/29/2008 5:31:03 PM

Anyone ever see that colon cleanse infomercial?

[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 5:32 PM. Reason : ^That's what I was getting at. And yes, eww!]

4/29/2008 5:31:53 PM

^^what the hell is that?

4/29/2008 5:32:30 PM

It ain't a nestle crunch bar.

4/29/2008 5:33:20 PM

its a gay mans lasso

4/29/2008 5:33:55 PM

they should do colon cleansing on mythbusters

4/29/2008 5:45:11 PM

is Colonics safe?

4/29/2008 6:03:49 PM

ive heard no. some of that shit in your colon (no pun intended) is there for a reason.

4/29/2008 6:21:41 PM

Quote :

"Anyone ever see that colon cleanse infomercial?"

almighty cleanse

i laugh every time

4/29/2008 6:48:07 PM

this is just repackaged drano. i'd be interested though since i ate some change a while back

4/29/2008 6:51:18 PM

oh shit, mytwocents is gonna have something else to satisfy her "gross body-byproducts" curiousity

4/29/2008 6:51:37 PM

i dont think i could have anyone else go into my special place
i'd rather just be clogged up

4/29/2008 7:02:58 PM

If you eat a balanced dieat and have regular healthy bowel movements, you don't need some shit to help you shit.

4/29/2008 7:03:22 PM

^without shit how can you shit?

4/29/2008 7:07:25 PM

magnesium citrate is insane.

4/29/2008 7:18:33 PM

doubleshit

[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 7:19 PM. Reason : lol]

4/29/2008 7:19:27 PM

has anyone on here ever gotten that done?

4/29/2008 7:20:20 PM

Quote :

"they should do colon cleansing on mythbusters "

Penn&Teller's Bullshit did a segment on it. Also, anyone who's had a colonoscopy, witnessed one, or seen pictures from one knows the colon cleanse stuff is bullshit. If it just takes a powerful laxative to have a completely clean colon (except for whatever polyps etc. that they might find with the scope) then I don't see what the fuck this stuff could be doing for you. The contents of your colon are pretty effectively removed very regularly.

If you actually had stuff staying in there as long as these irresponsible lying assholes claim then:

-The colon tissue where the putrefying fecal matter and "gunk" was stuck would necrotize and rot (this happens to some people, like my uncle, and is a rare and serious medical problem.)
-You'd see it in an endoscopy.
-People who didn't cleanse would be in intense pain, have shit and gas that smelled an order of magnitude worse (bacteria that colonizes old putrefied shit is different and smells different- like death), and probably be shitting clotted blood.

I know the OP posted this because it's funny, but those damn infomercials are on all time and it pisses me off that people fall for it. It absolutely infuriates me that these assholes can get away with selling it and lying as they do without being beaten to death by a righteous and wrathful mob as soon as they're spotted in the streets.

Quote :

"ive heard no. some of that shit in your colon (no pun intended) is there for a reason. "

Colonics can cause ruptures particularly if you have an impacted bowel, colon cancer, necrotized colon tissue, or ulcers of the colon. The most evil thing about these people is that those are some of the very conditions they say you should get a colonic to prevent or even alleviate. Rupture or damage to the colon could be from clumsy handling of the nozzle puncturing or stretching the colon or from the pressure of the water pumped into your ass.

Also, yes some of the stuff in you colon belongs there. While you'll never have 15 lbs of crap stuck in there, you do have cultures of bacteria that assist in digestion and protect against some parasites and infections. Healthy bacteria filled colons do not offer fertile ground for opportunistic infections while a sterile or irritated colon might allow for colonization by dangerous and unwanted bacteria. Luckily, the saline solution that most of these glorified rapists use won't do that. The risk is people using "special secret solutions" containing illegally used antibiotics, citrus, coffee, etc.

[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 7:38 PM. Reason : ]

4/29/2008 7:30:18 PM

Chief I was just looking over at youtube for some new videos...sadly, there weren't that many But colon cleansing isn't a by-product that would satisfy me. I need to see 'relief', instant gratification and while I might find it interesting to watch the clear tube used in a colonic...there's no 'AHA!' moment. Those moments only come with things like ingrown hairs and cysts, zits, or pimples popping.

On another note...Was having a conversation about magnesium citrate last night...anyone ever used it?

4/29/2008 7:33:23 PM

Quote :

"SCHLITZ COLONIC Okay, it wasn't the cheapest. That's Natural Lite. But Schlitz was the second-cheapest, and the name is much funnier. Tip for marketing folks: your product should not rhyme with the word "shitz." Especially if it's a food or beverage. Once I got home, I was able to fit three cans of Schlitz into the enema bag, which was now beginning to smell like a garbage scow. Schlitz claims to be "The Beer That Made Milwaukee Famous." Funny, I always thought that was Old Milwaukee. You know, the beer with Milwaukee in the name. The beer formed quite a head, and I had to wait for it to die down before I could continue pouring. Helpful tip: always pour into the side of the enema bag, which reduces the froth. WARNING: PEOPLE HAVE DIED FROM GIVING THEMSELVES ALCOHOLIC ENEMAS. These people were idiots who pumped their dumpers with hard liquor, more than they would ever ingest orally. Use common sense. With my experiment, my colon would be drinking a maximum of three Schlitzes, something I could normally do before breakfast. Half-naked, I climbed into the tub, inserted the nozzle, and turned on the butt spigot. Unfortunately, I was only able to get in half a can before my anus began foaming angrily. Dripping beer from my butt, I quickly sat on the toilet, spewing out a geyser of beer and surprised feces. Then I began farting uncontrollably. The beer seemed to have some chemical reaction with the inside of my colon, and the result was loud, almost majestic, trumpeting farts. (I've heard of beer farts, but this is ridiculous.) I stood up and looked down to survey the damage. The inside of the toilet was covered in Schlitz. It took me half an hour to clean up the bathroom, but damned if I didn't have a buzz. My colon got drunk off half a beer! What a lightweight! Later that evening, my mom came home and asked me why the bathroom smelled like beer. I pretended to take a whiff, and told her I thought it smelled like peanuts. "

4/29/2008 7:35:39 PM

Quote :

"they should do colon cleansing on mythbusters"

I'd watch it.

4/29/2008 7:38:30 PM

NSFW, contains footage of colonic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGCRmI9ndYU

3 parts to that, one of the topics they cover is the colon cleansing scam.

[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 7:41 PM. Reason : ]

4/29/2008 7:40:51 PM

^which part would that be in...cause I ain't watching all that bullshit...(no pun intended)

4/29/2008 7:44:54 PM

They cover most of it in the first segment, but it's a funny show and worth watching the whole episode. They come back to it in the last part a little bit too.

4/29/2008 7:45:49 PM

isn't the stuff that comes out just the product itself?

4/29/2008 7:46:57 PM

In a colonic? If by product you mean water they pump into your ass, yes. With cleansing products? Usually not because you'd have to either fast or eat a LOT of their product for that to make up the bulk of your shit. Most of them either do nothing (like the 43 dollar a package cleansing product that's actually just sugar they show in the video I linked to) or just act as laxatives. In that case, you're just shitting out stuff you were already digesting and might not have even finished digesting.

4/29/2008 7:56:45 PM

oh....NSFW btw.










other than the obvious...anyone notice anything interesting about this

4/29/2008 8:00:05 PM

The photo of gene shallot?

4/29/2008 8:02:38 PM

Looks like Ron Jeremy to me....

4/29/2008 8:16:41 PM

Quote :

"Magnesium is supposed to get everything out your bowels right?"

my husband drank a whole bottle once because the stuff the doctor prescribed wasn't "working."

it are serious business.

i do NOT recommend it if you only have ONE GODDAMN BATHROOM.

[Edited on April 29, 2008 at 8:19 PM. Reason : no plural k]

4/29/2008 8:18:51 PM

I've sat through a number of colonoscopies and after the liquid diet and laxatives for 24 hrs. all the colons I've seen were squeaky clean all the way from the rectum to the sigmoid and these were in people who didn't look like they had ideal diets... overweight, diabetic, on painkillers (which cause epic constipation), etc.

Btw if I were gonna get or give an enema I'd make sure it was isotonic with body fluids. Soft water enemas and diarrhea alike can cause severe electrolyte imbalances with effects as severe as cardiac arrhythmias and eventually death. (I've seen atrial flutter with PVCs caused by this in an otherwise healthy individual)

4/29/2008 8:24:09 PM

I know most people take dumps every few days. Is it normal to take a dump everyday? My friend wants to know.

4/29/2008 8:31:10 PM

every day is considered normal.

4/29/2008 8:32:25 PM

My ex claims to take 4-6 dumps a day on average. And he further claims that they are 'proper' shits...not tiny ones.

4/29/2008 8:32:32 PM

^^^^
"rectum to sigmoid" is only like 5 inches of your colon

4/29/2008 8:38:58 PM

^^ & ^^^

Ok good. My friend feels better thanks.

4/29/2008 8:40:28 PM

Quote :

"My ex claims to take 4-6 dumps a day on average. And he further claims that they are 'proper' shits...not tiny ones. "

So he's... full of shit?

4/29/2008 8:44:53 PM

I take at least 5 and as much as 8 everyday for the past month or so. They've all been good solid amounts, only they haven't been solid.

Sorry TMI

4/29/2008 8:56:19 PM

^^and then some




^I'm jealous

4/29/2008 8:59:05 PM

I'ma clean this whole shit out like colonics,
With words put together better than Sony Electronics

4/29/2008 8:59:27 PM

^^It's actually getting quite annoying now, the cramps and being woken up in the middle of the night to take a shit is really starting to suck

4/29/2008 9:03:14 PM

Quote :

""rectum to sigmoid" is only like 5 inches of your colon"

That's right, I meant "cecum," it's easy to get the anatomy terms mixed up when you don't use them every day.

4/30/2008 10:55:33 PM

Quote :

"So he's... full of shit?"

actually, wouldn't he be the one that's not full of shit?

4/30/2008 11:18:07 PM

Wow, this thread is definitely grossing me out.

Good thing I eat healthy and dont have to worry about having 15 fucking pounds of shit removed for me.

4/30/2008 11:22:16 PM

Quote :

"^^what the hell is that?"

Seriously, what the hell is that?

4/30/2008 11:22:50 PM

^, it's probably alive, and ate someone shortly after

4/30/2008 11:26:47 PM