apparently shes "going out of the country" or something- was like 6am this morning and shes like yo can you help me take a desk out to the dumpster(of course i'm going to say yes)...mind you this broad has never introduced herself....shes a bit hefty, i thought she was a mexican...anyways shes like you can keep anything I dont want and everything i do want needs to be put in a pile(not a lot)...oh and i get her food lol


so long story short, chubby broad has to leave country and gives me her apt keys to finish throwing stuff away


i guess its just strange cause i already jerked off in her apt; kinda like a dog that marks his territory

6/22/2008 4:28:41 PM

Did you jerk off onto the pile of stuff she wants to keep?

6/22/2008 4:29:37 PM

she had like 3 pairs of panties so i used some like neon orange looking ones

6/22/2008 4:30:42 PM

Then you're golden.

6/22/2008 4:32:32 PM

lolwut?

you jacked yourself off using her panties?

6/22/2008 4:32:37 PM

i got a key to my neighbors place too, the one i had a crush on. i'll never use it though, just holding on to it in case she loses hers i guess

6/22/2008 4:34:08 PM

^^Don't be ridiculous, he jacked off using his own panties.

[Edited on June 22, 2008 at 4:34 PM. Reason : blah]

6/22/2008 4:34:18 PM

Note to self: Never ever give drunknloaded a key to my apartment.

6/22/2008 4:34:31 PM

Quote :

"FATTY MEXICAN PANTIES "

6/22/2008 4:34:51 PM

mmmm were there shart marks?

6/22/2008 4:35:15 PM

so anyways, in all seriousness...it was nice to help someone...heres how she initiates convo

me: steps outside
her: i'm leaving the country in an hour and a half, can you help me move my desk
me: sure


i wish she wouldnt have promised other people her patio chairs! she was like "OMG thank you so much"...almost started crying twice...apparently shes like moving to lousiana in 10 days...for the next 10 days she doing some symphony thing in australia....i was like seriously its fine

6/22/2008 4:36:19 PM

CREEPY AS FUCK

6/22/2008 4:37:10 PM

oh man i should take a pic of how much bathroom shampoos and shit she got

[Edited on June 22, 2008 at 4:39 PM. Reason : and i get to keep her change thats on the floor...gotta be like 3 bucks there]

6/22/2008 4:37:12 PM

i got a furnished apartment in apex with free rent from someone once who was moving to colorado or arizona or florida or rehab or something. this was when i lived on brent road, so i didnt really need the place to stay, i just wanted to clean it out and keep the shit cause homeys folks hit the real estate boom back in the day

pretty cool for multiple lives and stuff, plus i sold all the furniture on here and got a good 2 months rent at the time.

6/22/2008 4:40:10 PM

Quote :

"i guess its just strange cause i already jerked off in her apt; kinda like a dog that marks his territory"

ahahah that right there is 10/10

6/22/2008 4:40:17 PM

btw...38b breasts...shes one of those unlucky bigger girls that has kinda small boobs


and a lot of her foods are the "no sugar added" kind...seriously wtf...i've noticed the only people that eat the no sugar added stuff are fatties

[Edited on June 22, 2008 at 4:42 PM. Reason : big girl + small boobs= probably worst situation for a fattie]

6/22/2008 4:41:57 PM

Diabetus. What what.

6/22/2008 4:42:48 PM

i was hoping i'd find a dildo or vibrator

6/22/2008 4:44:34 PM

SO THAT YOU CAN USE IT ON YOURSELF?

6/22/2008 4:48:23 PM

nah i was gonna smell it and maybe lick it once or twice

6/22/2008 4:49:10 PM

Quote :

"i guess its just strange cause i already jerked off in her apt;"

wait wat

6/22/2008 4:49:24 PM

Just ew. If there were crotch on it. . .just ew. That would mean that she doesn't clean them. EW.

6/22/2008 4:49:59 PM

Quote :

"nah i was gonna smell it and maybe lick it once or twice"

6/22/2008 4:51:29 PM

6/22/2008 4:51:51 PM

jesus you are creepy as fuck

6/22/2008 4:54:23 PM

I hope this is a dateline setup. please oh please.

6/22/2008 4:55:10 PM

oh i also got one of those compact flourenscent bulbs

6/22/2008 4:56:12 PM

seriously just chill nude over there for a few hours

its so fucking empowering to be naked in someone elses house

6/22/2008 4:59:17 PM

lol josh i'm gonna have to agree that this is kinda creepy that you made a thread about this....

6/22/2008 5:07:13 PM

the moral of the story is that its good to help out neighbors

6/22/2008 5:09:16 PM

hahah this guy is essentially me with all the bullshit stories, except you guys want to believe his sooooo bad

OMG DILDO LICKER

hahahaha

6/22/2008 5:09:23 PM

lol i should put on some of her left over clothes and take pics...that would shut them up i'm sure

6/22/2008 5:14:44 PM

get a video camera and do like buffalo bill did where you put on music and tuck your shit

6/22/2008 5:15:28 PM

nah man i'm too self conscious about that

6/22/2008 5:19:40 PM

wear a mask so we don't know its you

then upload it to youporn

6/22/2008 5:21:33 PM

no means no mister


should i beat it there again though? wasnt as hot as i thought it'd be

6/22/2008 5:26:31 PM

yeah but this time nut in a signature place

like on a glass door, the wall, or the kitchen counter

not somewhere boring like a napkin or a sock

6/22/2008 5:28:13 PM

OMG DILDO LICKER

6/22/2008 5:29:12 PM

i told you i cant help it jackleg!! its a fetish...i saw it on one of those fetish sites so i know

6/22/2008 5:32:11 PM

6/22/2008 5:39:48 PM

ok figured out a way to have some fun..gonna list out her perfumes and u tell me what u think of them

6/22/2008 5:40:16 PM

next time do it with the blinds open mid day
asians can have round eyes too

6/22/2008 5:41:48 PM

reeks of bullshittery

6/22/2008 5:43:44 PM

you obviously don't know dnl

6/22/2008 5:44:34 PM

beyond paradise
very sexy for her sheer sexy mist
curve
embrace dreams
she has like 8 kinds of bath and body works stuff

[Edited on June 22, 2008 at 5:47 PM. Reason : some journey perfume thats in a mary kay bottle]

6/22/2008 5:45:45 PM

i know dnl. and he's about the worst person ever for saying bad shit at the worst times IRL....

and im not even gonna say that he wouldnt lick a dildo, but he wouldnt tell you people if he did.

6/22/2008 5:49:08 PM

depends on how it tasted lol

6/22/2008 5:53:16 PM

jackleg talks tough but he obviously is naive to dnl's limits
life is too short and crazy to make this shit up.

6/22/2008 6:05:34 PM

i'm still grossed out about the thought of licking up dried cooter

6/22/2008 6:06:43 PM

^What about wet cooter?

and SET EM UP

6/22/2008 6:16:06 PM