So do you hold a grudge or do you guilt trip people?

7/5/2008 2:16:16 PM

I'm a woman, I can't help it

7/5/2008 2:16:38 PM

wow, just had this discussion this morning with my "friend"

7/5/2008 2:16:54 PM

if this is a pick one kind of thing then i usually hold a grudge.

sometimes i may guilt trip but not often.

when i try to get my way with my boyfriend we usually make trades.

7/5/2008 2:22:15 PM

GRUDGE!

7/5/2008 2:22:49 PM

Confront the person and find a solution? Oh, I see...this is a females only thread.

7/5/2008 2:27:18 PM

Depends

I'd much rather exact revenge than hold a grudge. If I can't get revenge, most often, I just let it go.

I suck at guilt tripping

7/5/2008 3:14:20 PM

I hold a grudge like no other

7/5/2008 3:15:15 PM

Both!!

7/5/2008 3:28:15 PM

might as well ask


"so are you a child? do you think the world revolves around you?"

7/5/2008 3:33:47 PM

I just don't forgive fuckers who have no regret at all for what they've done.

Especially when I can't get anything out of them. Just a waste of energy to have to deal with them at that point.

[Edited on July 5, 2008 at 3:39 PM. Reason : ]

7/5/2008 3:38:56 PM

i'm really good at guilt tripping for some reason :\

but i'm one of those people who pretty much trusts everyone... until you give me a reason not to trust you
and then it's basically impossible to earn my trust back.

kinda sucks :\

7/5/2008 3:41:42 PM

i hold grudges

i dont guilt trip people, actually i did it for the first time in a long time today/last night

i have friends coming over to spend the night tonight, my roommate (who trashes the living room b/c i never go in there) wanted me to have dinner w/ her family last night, i told her "no thanks, the living room is nasty and i have to clean up before my friends get here"

UGH

then i reminded her today that i picked up her trash, and DVD's and she was welcome

7/5/2008 3:57:20 PM

it depends for me...i mean i definitely do it but sometimes its deserved, sometimes its not

7/5/2008 4:00:19 PM

i dont hold grudges per say

i usually just never speak to them again

why keep someone around if you're always going to be mad at them? i just eliminate them from my life and replace them with someone cooler

as for guilt trips, i was raised catholic so its pretty much in my blood. i know i am doing it and usually try to make a joke out of it

7/5/2008 5:11:02 PM

I HATE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS! I hate when people do it to me so I don't those to others!!!

7/5/2008 5:22:05 PM

they are both a waste of energy. do something more productive and positive with your time and energy.

7/5/2008 5:53:35 PM

Quote :

"why keep someone around if you're always going to be mad at them? i just eliminate them from my life and replace them with someone cooler "

A woman after my own heart

7/5/2008 6:28:08 PM

^Until you piss her off, that is.

7/5/2008 6:30:30 PM

*rim shot*

7/5/2008 6:30:48 PM

guilt trip to death

bring it up at the worst possible times for that particular person....you remember when.....

[Edited on July 5, 2008 at 6:54 PM. Reason : w]

7/5/2008 6:53:20 PM

I guilt trip women into sleeping with me

7/5/2008 7:01:30 PM

I hold no grudge, but if you do piss me off, I'll see that I'll bury you. I also have a three strike policy of friendship. If you fuck up 3 big times, I drop you as a close friend and into the "associates" category. Piss me off one more time and it's demoted to the "shit list" and have 30 days to make amends before your name, number and email address is deleted from my outlook and cell phone. And that's like super bad...

7/5/2008 7:16:21 PM

Quote :

"I HATE BOTH OF THOSE THINGS! I hate when people do it to me so I don't those to others!!!"

I completely agree.
I hate being pissed and am completely and thoroughly uncomfortable when someone is or I THINK someone is mad or upset with me.

That goes for not speaking to someone either. . . life is too short for that kind of self indulgent bullshit. Why people think they are so important to other people that they can stomp their feet and whine and cry to get their way is beyond me. fuck. that.

I have never demoted a friend either. ever.

It probably also helps that the friends I hang out with aren't selfish, dramatic, attention whores. When my acquaintences pull that kinda crap I can walk away and come back the next day while they can drag their own best friends into the fray with them, saving me from being involved

[Edited on July 5, 2008 at 7:43 PM. Reason : moar]

7/5/2008 7:23:01 PM

Quote :

"i dont hold grudges per say i usually just never speak to them again why keep someone around if you're always going to be mad at them? i just eliminate them from my life and replace them with someone cooler as for guilt trips, i was raised catholic so its pretty much in my blood. i know i am doing it and usually try to make a joke out of it"

7/5/2008 7:24:57 PM

The way I see it, if the "friend" in question constantly does shit to you and worse behind your back, are you better off to not be friends anymore? I figure that there are 6.5 billion others willing person in the world who could be my friend and not shit on me at every opportunity or steal my gf.

I stopped talking to one of my best friends a few years ago after I found out he was cheating with my gf right in front of me. I had suspected for a bit, but when I found out, it ended our friendship of which I've known him since 5th grade. I think he moved back to Florida. Maybe time will heal our friendship and I'm not pissed off at him anymore.

[Edited on July 5, 2008 at 7:30 PM. Reason : ]

7/5/2008 7:27:05 PM

yeah maybe when said friend grows up you guys can try again, but since he moved to florida and all, meh.

I just meant that I had never personally demoted a friend, but considering your circumstance I could see why you would.

7/5/2008 7:45:20 PM

i guess for me it depends on what your definition of friend is

[Edited on July 5, 2008 at 7:48 PM. Reason : i know many people but only consider maybe 10 of them "friends"]

7/5/2008 7:47:54 PM

well with the ex gf we do both to each other. But when you say grudges I think you guys would agree. Homegirl told some random girl at the bar that I was nuts. Just because she thought I was hitting on her. Earlier in the night at a party she went up to a mutual friend while I was playing pong with another girl and told her to "warn her about me" I just dont get it. Then we are out last night having a blast and she is all up on one of my good friends...I went almost a month without speaking to her and here the last 2 days it hasnt gotten better.

7/6/2008 1:44:27 AM

I guilt trip people without even really meaning to---I just have a sharp tongue and am good with words (thereby can cut you to the bone)

7/6/2008 3:20:37 AM

dont do it just for give them and fuck their bf or gf

7/6/2008 6:37:31 AM

I tend to hold a grudge, but it doesn't last very long. I'm pretty ADD about shit like that

7/6/2008 6:39:23 AM

im ADD when it comes to any thing at all. i mean i can sit still and im calm but ive got an attitude like wow if you fuck up

7/6/2008 6:41:44 AM

^drunk?

7/6/2008 7:48:44 AM

I usually don't hold grudges...unless you kill my pet.

7/6/2008 8:43:57 AM

im choosing to hold a grudge today

7/6/2008 8:53:16 AM

^ against your roommate?

7/6/2008 9:27:12 AM

guilt trip? no, and i really don't like them at all. i've been pretty good at BUSTING them lately though, just call them what they are and get it out in the open. adults.

and holding a grudge... nah i dont have any grudges. got some people that would have to re-earn some respect, etc, if that makes sense. but im not like omg i hate that tommy/suzie fucker!!

7/6/2008 9:33:20 AM

im a passive aggressive mother fucker

7/6/2008 9:58:24 AM

My last two ex's both had cheated on me and the last one said some pretty harsh words to me that resonate through your sol as though you died a little bit inside. Then I told her to fuck off and now I don't give a flying fuck. Although, it's a really big motivator for me to do well and be very successful so I can come back in 5-10 years in a Ferrari and be like "Wat now bitch?" I think that sums up 1/2 of the Ferrari owners in America...

7/6/2008 12:33:30 PM

^^EXCELLENT synopsis

7/6/2008 1:01:18 PM

I do neither, I kill people who piss me off and then have sex with their corpse [no-homo].

7/6/2008 1:02:29 PM

sometimes i want to hold a grudge, but invariably, I end up forgetting what it was that i was holding a grudge about.

7/6/2008 1:03:34 PM

Quote :

"the last one said some pretty harsh words to me that resonate through your sol"

7/7/2008 9:00:04 AM

The ex was an expert at the silent treatment. I let it go once just to see how long she would ignore me, and i think we got to 4 days before I cracked. We were living together at the time too.

7/7/2008 9:11:36 AM

i'm not going to lie, i do this a lot more than i should.

7/7/2008 9:33:26 AM

Any time I find myself being mad for more than a few hours I end up getting really emotional and end up apologizing for being upset in the first place even when I probably shouldn't.

7/7/2008 9:35:12 AM

^I do that all the time...

I can't stay mad...it is completely impossible for me to hold a grudge for more than 1/2 day

7/7/2008 11:14:37 AM

i do both...but i'm getting better at not holding grudges

7/7/2008 11:20:15 AM

I'm pretty good at holding grudges. There was this bully who used to give me a hard time in the fourth grade. Three years later, I found out he died of a heart attack. Everyone was looking so sad and I said, "What? That kid was an asshole."

That was the reason for my 427th trip to the guidance counselor, who, for the record, was a cunt.

7/7/2008 11:23:47 AM