I'm having to correct abstracts that have been translated from Japanese to English. This sucks Here is the first one I got. It doesn't sound particularly good but I'm also not sure what would make it better.

HALP

Quote :

"Research on the Physical Properties of a Plastic Eraser We conducted this research focusing on the physical properties of plastic erasers. First, we made our own plastic erasers. Then, we carried out two kinds of physical tests on them, tension test and dynamic viscoelasticity test, at the University of Kansai. These tests resulted in interesting data, especially pertaining to the plasticizer dioctyl phthalate."

6/2/2009 9:12:23 PM

Get rid of "we", and don't use "interesting" -- be more descriptive

6/2/2009 9:14:07 PM

Then, we carried out two kinds of physical tests on them at the University of Kansai: a tension test and a dynamic viscoelasticity test.

6/2/2009 9:16:08 PM

^^ Yeah, interesting is a crappy word. Maybe compelling?

6/2/2009 9:19:37 PM

compelling is a good choice

6/2/2009 9:21:45 PM

I think I realize why I don't like this abstract at all. It doesn't meet the basic requirements for an abstract. Where is the reason for doing the experiment to begin with? Where is the problem being solved? Where are the implications of the results?

I hate when my students turn in crap

6/2/2009 9:36:30 PM

Plastic Eraser and Dioctyl Phthalate: Performance Analysis

It was recently undertaken to understand the relationship between plastic eraser materials and the plasticizer dioctyl phthalate. During the course of research, original eraser compounds were created and subsequently tested. Tests for the eraser material include tension and dynamic viscoelasticity test performed at the University of Kansai. The results of these tests were compelling when the plasticizer dioctyl phthalate was introduced into the eraser material.


A little bit better, I think.


We conducted this research focusing on the physical properties of plastic erasers. First, we made our own plastic erasers. Then, we carried out two kinds of physical tests on them, tension test and dynamic viscoelasticity test, at the University of Kansai. These tests resulted in interesting data, especially pertaining to the plasticizer dioctyl phthalate."

6/2/2009 9:44:26 PM

If the experiment gave interesting results, the abstract shouldn't just say that; it should tell exactly what is interesting about it. It doesn't necessarily have to say why it's interesting, but it should be more specific about what the results actually were.

6/2/2009 11:09:35 PM

me

6/2/2009 11:16:53 PM

I thought you taught elementary school kids

6/2/2009 11:20:18 PM

High school.

6/3/2009 1:20:59 AM