Y'know, I think I'm going to wait a while before posting this.

just in case.

Someone bump this in a month or two.

[Edited on August 4, 2009 at 9:18 PM. Reason : a]

8/4/2009 9:18:54 PM

I'll be honest, I didn't read it, but I don't trust some motherfuckers to not go and report whatever it is you posted.

8/4/2009 9:20:13 PM

As in "wait long enough that they don't find out it's me who did it?"

8/4/2009 9:20:25 PM

ibtl

8/4/2009 9:21:37 PM

Uh oh, I think thumper already did this thread a while back. Is your high school bully now a cashier at sam's club?

8/4/2009 9:22:56 PM

advance tl;dr

8/4/2009 9:26:31 PM

See, my problem is that while I'm generally a really nice guy, if provoked I tend to retaliate in a way that's beyond what one might consider reasonable.

One time at beerfest, my wife was using the port-a-potty, and some fat girl walks by and says "I like your purse." I responded with "I like your spare tire. Is that for a car or a truck?"

A little over the top.


The Sam's club incident was kinda the same. But had I let it go, I'd still be stewing about it now.

8/4/2009 9:30:41 PM

haha

8/4/2009 9:32:53 PM

So post it for the rest of us to enjoy.

8/4/2009 9:33:04 PM

yeah, i wanna know. i like sam's

8/4/2009 9:33:37 PM

Will have to remember the spare tire line.

Now I am dying to know the story.

8/4/2009 9:34:08 PM

there's a very slight chance that they might have called the police, or will call the police when my, um.. "work" is discovered, depending on if they care enough to review surveillance footage.

How far back do stores keep that shit anyway?

days? weeks?

8/4/2009 9:35:03 PM

go on and tell the rest

8/4/2009 9:35:54 PM

Depends on the store. Convenience stores just reuse tapes every day. Places with money may use some fancy intelligent digitally integrated system that stores footage for up to a year so that (should a legal incident come up) they have proof to cover their ass so people can't get away with a lawsuit.

I'm guessing you took a dump in a display model refrigerator.

8/4/2009 9:36:59 PM

usually about a week

most stores record 'less than legal' activities on a simple VHS tape. One tape for each day. After a week if there are no significant incidents to review, they will start over again recording over the previous monday, tuesday, wednesday, etc...

8/4/2009 9:37:49 PM

What constitutes "less than legal" activities?

8/4/2009 9:45:48 PM

emce is correct

you put a pile of shit somewhere didn't you?

8/4/2009 9:45:51 PM

did you take a dump in one of their floor model toilets?

I always hated the membership nazi at the front door of Sam's Club, so I could never fathom getting a membership there.

[Edited on August 4, 2009 at 9:51 PM. Reason : do they sell 4-packs of toilets? did you upper deck them all?]

8/4/2009 9:50:11 PM

otherwise you'd have a store full of idiots filling up carts who would get to the register and not be able to check out b/c they didn't know you had to have a membership

[Edited on August 4, 2009 at 9:51 PM. Reason : i've never seen toilets FS at sam's]

8/4/2009 9:51:26 PM

Quote :

"I always hated the membership nazi at the front door of Sam's Club"

nail on head

8/4/2009 9:52:18 PM

you took the frozen peas and put them in the pillow section again didnt you

8/4/2009 9:52:24 PM

My bro is so smart. Bobby def took a dump in the 4-pack of floor toilets. You have been officially called out!

8/4/2009 9:53:51 PM

Quote :

"otherwise you'd have a store full of idiots filling up carts who would get to the register and not be able to check out b/c they didn't know you had to have a membership "

BJ's and Costco don't have this problem.

8/4/2009 10:23:05 PM

Quote :

"otherwise you'd have a store full of idiots filling up carts who would get to the register and not be able to check out b/c they didn't know you had to have a membership"

actually, you don't have to have a membership to shop at at some clubs, they just charge you more.

plus what's wrong with a door nazi? seems like an easy job to get paid $15/hr. better than a wal-mart greeter.

8/4/2009 10:28:02 PM

^^exactly

^i realize that

8/4/2009 10:29:52 PM

ive walked past the door nazi before. they're like, "hey, wait....oh... "


but that place sucks anyway. BJs FTW

8/4/2009 10:32:15 PM

damn i knew this shit was gonna be quality

BD = A TEASE

8/4/2009 10:34:25 PM

if the door nazi looked as frail and mentally decrepid as the door greeter at most Walmarts, they'd probably receive an epic beatdown about once a day. There's a reason why the person with that job is usually a 6'-7" 350lb woman.

8/4/2009 10:34:57 PM

not at the ones ive been to

8/4/2009 10:36:20 PM

This thread does not deliver.

8/4/2009 11:25:45 PM

you shat in teh middle of a boys' pants display, didn't you? i used to hide in the middle of those thigns when i was a kid

8/4/2009 11:32:20 PM

Quote :

"One time at beerfest, my wife was using the port-a-potty, and some fat girl walks by and says "I like your purse." I responded with "I like your spare tire. Is that for a car or a truck?""

if it's anything like this, I'm sold

please PM me this story.

8/5/2009 12:12:39 AM

Quote :

"please PM me this story."

sign me up for your newsletter too...pm me the goods plz

8/5/2009 12:41:56 AM

Quote :

"Uh oh, I think thumper already did this thread a while back. Is your high school bully now a cashier at sam's club? "

haahahh thats exactly what i was thinking...

[Edited on August 5, 2009 at 1:21 AM. Reason : and i almost drank my sunflower seed spit cup instead of my cream soda.]

8/5/2009 1:21:00 AM

wut happen? did Bobby set us up the bomb?

8/5/2009 2:18:26 AM

i like it when people admit to being immature idiots

8/5/2009 2:50:03 AM

Quote :

"and some fat girl walks by and says "I like your purse." I responded with "I like your spare tire. Is that for a car or a truck?" A little over the top."

ok ok i just want to know.... was the "over the top" comment meant to be a pun or not???

8/5/2009 3:46:58 AM

Quote :

"please PM me this story. "

8/5/2009 7:32:46 AM

i thought this was gonna be about the RZA

8/5/2009 7:34:15 AM

Quote :

"I always hated the membership nazi at the front door of Sam's Club"

It's not the nazi, it's the dumbfuck customer that waits to whip out their card until they're blocking the entrance with their cart. It's like the whole thing is new to them, "Oh, what? You want to see my card?...oh okay well let me first place my cart so as to completely block the door, now let me search for that thing in my wallet or purse."

Mostly though I don't like Sam's crub because it's jamb-packed with FOBs.

8/5/2009 8:29:34 AM

Isn't there an anonymous confessions thread just for such tales?

8/5/2009 8:40:01 AM

I would like a PM with this story.

8/5/2009 8:40:40 AM

I'm finding I'm less and less patient with rude or inconsiderate people the older I get.

8/5/2009 8:42:58 AM

^ as would i

8/5/2009 8:43:14 AM

Quote :

"I'm finding I'm less and less patient with rude or inconsiderate people the older I get."

I used to think this too but I'm now sure that people are just getting dumber and more rude as time goes on.

8/5/2009 8:44:56 AM

You guys are all aiming way too low here. Need I remind you that we are talking about BobbyDigital?

8/5/2009 8:45:35 AM

Dear Bobby:


we have been friends for years.


PLX TO PM ME THIS STORY FOR MORNING LULZ

[Edited on August 5, 2009 at 8:55 AM. Reason : my guess is that Bobby has truly done some epic shit here]

8/5/2009 8:54:46 AM

Quote :

"I would like a PM with this story. "

8/5/2009 11:41:59 AM

OMG ACSTIVATES TEH PM TREE

8/5/2009 11:47:39 AM

I too, would like to hear about BD's shenanigans. Either in this thread or via PM.

8/5/2009 11:56:32 AM