Dogs were male, Cats were female
God was real
that i could grow up to be anything

This has been an AstralAdvent presentation.

9/25/2009 1:02:26 AM

bugs bunny was funny

9/25/2009 1:04:14 AM

dark meat chicken comes from n*gger chickens

[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 1:07 AM. Reason : s]

9/25/2009 1:07:39 AM

I always thought this thread had been done before:

message_topic.aspx?topic=561427

9/25/2009 1:08:47 AM

mom said if i kept eating jello powder out of the packet it would gel in my stomach.


scared the shit outta me...thought i was gonna die

9/25/2009 1:09:24 AM

I was petrified of eating watermelon seeds for fear of one growing inside my stomach

I thought that if I did not eat, I would literally wither up and blow away

9/25/2009 1:18:53 AM

that we went to school for a year at a time

and summer lasted a year too

and making faces would make your face stick like that

9/25/2009 2:50:04 AM

Dogs were male, Cats were female
God was real
that i could grow up to be anything

weird is not the correct word for these.

9/25/2009 2:50:54 AM

that if i took LSD, i would lay down on the grass and stare at the sun until my retinas fried.

9/25/2009 3:07:21 AM

Your mom.

9/25/2009 3:11:47 AM

I really thought the yellow first down line was painted onto the field every time they needed and taken off when they were done.

9/25/2009 8:20:35 AM

whenever someone said Alzheimer's Disease i thought they were saying Old Timer's Disease

9/25/2009 8:30:32 AM

I was the only one who could see the floating squiggly line that would "run away" when you looked at it...

9/25/2009 8:30:47 AM

That bassett hounds were just really old beagles.

9/25/2009 8:31:52 AM

Quote :

"that if i took LSD, i would lay down on the grass and stare at the sun until my retinas fried."

joe_schmoe

But then you took a chance, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7F2X3rSSCU

[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 8:34 AM. Reason : Right? ]

9/25/2009 8:32:33 AM

I believed that Republicans were good. Boy was I wrong.

9/25/2009 8:36:29 AM

My birthday is the 4th of July. My parents told me the fireworks were for me. I got to be 5 or so and realized that almost all those people didn't know me.

9/25/2009 8:46:57 AM

That the instrumental part of the chorus in Air Supply- "Lost In Love" was the sound of people breathing during sex...

9/25/2009 8:50:39 AM

if i made that face long enough it would stay that way

9/25/2009 8:57:18 AM

i believe that once you got older and went to college you made money and got a house...

9/25/2009 8:59:37 AM

i thought that wetting your bed was the norm


and I thought the zombies from the Thriller video were going to kill me

9/25/2009 9:02:06 AM

I know some people that still need to learn that first thing is not the case

9/25/2009 9:02:48 AM

Quote :

"Dogs were male, Cats were female"

I don't believe this...but until I know the animal's sex...I still refer to dogs as a "he" and cats as a "she". Don't see that ever stopping.

9/25/2009 9:08:29 AM

Quote :

"I was the only one who could see the floating squiggly line that would "run away" when you looked at it..."

FUCKING EYE FLOATERS

I believed that by being smart and working hard, you could have anything you wanted. (Ceteris paribus, this is the case, but things are rarely paribus.)

I thought that if you were average looking-fugly as a a kid, you would grow up to be awesome-looking.

I believed that fat people had always been fat.

I thought true love existed.

I thought things that were killed or destroyed could and would always be brought back. (The destruction of Alderaan in the first Star Wars taught me otherwise.)

9/25/2009 9:10:08 AM

babies came out of a woman's butt

[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 9:12 AM. Reason : because of all the TV shows when ladies give birth, the way it was set up]

9/25/2009 9:10:47 AM

Quote :

"and I thought the zombies from the Thriller video were going to kill me"

Zombies from the Thriller video ARE going to kill you.

9/25/2009 9:15:44 AM

that I shone bright like the sun. but now there's a look in my eye, like black holes in the sky.

i was caught on the crossfire, of childhood and stardom, blown on the steel breeze.

9/25/2009 9:17:10 AM

lightning was the source of all electricity

9/25/2009 9:17:56 AM

That holding your pee could kill you.

9/25/2009 9:21:07 AM

that our pee could kill bushes

9/25/2009 9:24:13 AM

that i could really be a mermaid

9/25/2009 9:24:24 AM

i thought that winning the Grand Prize Game on the Bozo show was going to be easy

9/25/2009 9:30:10 AM

i used to be amazed at how good those kids were at throwing that ball into those buckets

9/25/2009 9:33:17 AM

That reading was a magical power.

9/25/2009 9:38:54 AM

^^ i made it to the 4th bucket

i wanted the Schwinn SOOOO bad

9/25/2009 9:41:14 AM

wonder if there's a youtube of your failure



aha, found one in general, old school toys start at 2:50
wtf were police academy gas gushers
ahaha beetlejuice doll at 3:40
grand price is an NES lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6mopTtmtLg

[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 9:51 AM. Reason : .,jjm,jhgh]

9/25/2009 9:42:30 AM

there's a VHS at my mom's house of it

9/25/2009 9:47:25 AM

Quote :

"and I thought the zombies from the Thriller video were going to kill me"

Yeah, this one is true. DeltaBeta is correct.

9/25/2009 9:49:23 AM

that weed, cocaine and heroine were all the same and would ruin my life.
Boys were gross and had cooties. Now cooties means STD's

9/25/2009 9:49:36 AM

Yes, girls have cooties, too.

9/25/2009 9:51:55 AM

I thought girls have cooters

9/25/2009 9:53:51 AM

Quote :

"On the subject of unexpectedly ringing phones: When I was little, I had this fear that people who dialed wrong numbers sometimes dialed the wrong number. Like there was a secret line to the FBI or an old missile silo that no one was supposed to know, and merely calling it could set some catastrophic event in motion, like black-suited goons removing you or the detonation of a nuclear warhead. Mostly, I imagined that somewhere out there were grizzled government workers in yellowed rooms with dirty tiled floors and buzzing incandescent lights. Just tired dudes in white shirts and wrinkled slacks with mugs full of cold coffee and grounds, smoking unfiltered cigarettes while sitting at slanted draftsman's tables, slide rules and graph paper ready for calculating missile trajectories, maybe a dusty chalkboard on the wall behind them. One solid black rotary phone for each man, with those heavy, ominous rings.... I used to sit out in the field next to my grandparents' house and listen to the hum of the electrical substation on their property, and I'd imagine that at the moment, the whole world was buzzing with telephone calls. All I really knew were those rotary phones, no concept of the Internet or anything more wireless than the radio. Aside from the substation, it was so quiet that I'd imagine that if I closed my eyes and listened hard enough, I could hear a phone ringing in someone's house miles away, and that if I waited long enough, I'd hear hundreds of phones, maybe every phone in the world, maybe even the conversations on the wires and underground. It'd made sense to me that communication was important, and I figured that the most important and top-secret people and things would still have phones. I wondered whether, if you followed all the phone lines, you'd find all the big secrets, like ripping up runners to find the weeds. I'd imagine myself walking for miles alongside series of telephone poles, finding the wires that seemed to lead down to nothing, and digging the wire up with my bare hands so I could follow it to hidden bunkers and abandoned offices. But I knew that if I found the wrong people that way, they could find me by the phone lines, too. I would marvel that there must be thousands if not millions of phone calls going on all over the world at any given moment, and I'd reason that eventually, someone would dial a wrong number that would turn up a fantastic secret. I might try to call my grandparents or my mom at work and slip up, and instead of their hellos, I might hear, "Yes, Mr. President?" It was thrilling and terrifying."

9/25/2009 9:55:07 AM

OMG I can't believe you got to do the grand prize game!!! When I was little I thought Bozo had the name of every kid in America and he would pick me to be the"at home player" and that I'd get a big box of toys in the mail.

I always marched around the house whenever they marched out at the end of the show.

I haven't thought about this show in years!!!

9/25/2009 10:16:52 AM

Quote :

"whenever someone said Alzheimer's Disease i thought they were saying Old Timer's Disease"

2nded

-i could choose my cousins
-there was a vast expanse of emptiness out past Crabtree Mall
-the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were over 40 years old

9/25/2009 10:41:01 AM

Quote :

"and making faces would make your face stick like that "

i never believed that

my grandma once told me if you talked to plants they would talk back

9/25/2009 10:42:28 AM

I thought when people said "ulterior" they were saying "alterior" and that "alterior" was another term for alternative.

Thus, ulterior motive became alternative motive and every criminal had two reasons why they were committing malfeasance.

9/25/2009 10:52:28 AM

I swore to god that my cookie monster puppet actually ate that cookie.....i mean, if he didn't eat it then WTF happened to it!?!?!

9/25/2009 11:13:16 AM

^ INORITE!

9/25/2009 11:14:36 AM

that my teddy bear was the protector against all things evil while I slept, so if I slept with my teddy bear and kept the covers tucked all the way up to my chin the vampires couldn't get me

[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 11:18 AM. Reason : ]

9/25/2009 11:18:14 AM

Quote :

"That holding your pee could kill you."

Holding your pee can kill you...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16614865/

[Edited on September 25, 2009 at 11:55 AM. Reason : .]

9/25/2009 11:39:24 AM