Do you have frenemies?

I've had some over the years. Currently I can only think of one in my life. I guess that's pretty good.

(Yes, I finally got around to listening to the This American Life podcast from about three weeks ago )

9/27/2009 8:00:39 PM

my wife listened to that episode, and now she's cancelling all social events with acquaintances who aren't her best friends forever.

i dont' get it.

9/27/2009 8:02:17 PM

That seems a bit drastic

9/27/2009 8:13:20 PM

I didn't listen to that podcast, but I do have frenemies.

actually I can only think of one - I hate that skank but love her at the same time.

9/27/2009 8:20:10 PM

^^ my wife doesn't "moderate" very well. its all or nothing with her, it seems.

i also think she may have misinterpreted what defines a "frenemy", but i didnt listen to the episode, so i don't know.



[Edited on September 27, 2009 at 8:25 PM. Reason : ]

9/27/2009 8:24:18 PM

Basically they just said frenemies are people who are your friends even though they treat you like shit/are untrustworthy/cause you more pain than happiness/etc.

9/27/2009 9:12:47 PM

why would you be friends with someone like that?

9/27/2009 9:14:10 PM

no.

9/27/2009 9:17:19 PM

Quote :

"why would you be friends with someone like that?"

9/27/2009 9:17:57 PM

I have had a couple, but soon realized to sever ties with them.

9/27/2009 9:19:40 PM

Quote :

"why would you be friends with someone like that?"

They actually did a study on that. Reasons people quoted included "I wouldn't be the sort of person to turn my back on someone having a rough time," "what does it say about me if I can't support a friend through the good and the bad," etc etc. Over 50% of people who responded to the survey said they had frenemies.

9/27/2009 9:21:52 PM

Quote :

"people who are your friends even though they treat you like shit/are untrustworthy/cause you more pain than happiness/etc."

yeah, that's what i thought frenemies were.

my wife, apparently, either misunderstood or misapplied the term. she doesnt have "frenemies" like that. she jsut has a number of friends with whom she doesnt have much in common with anymore, but feels compelled to keep seeing on what she feels are forced social events.

she wants to drop these friends who have over the years just become acquaintances due to the inevitable growing apart.




[Edited on September 27, 2009 at 9:45 PM. Reason : ]

9/27/2009 9:45:00 PM

So basically the question is "are you weak?"

9/27/2009 9:45:17 PM

who when you're down ain't your friends

9/27/2009 9:50:04 PM

^^^ lol yeah not frenemies but probably time to stop hanging out if it has become a chore.

[Edited on September 27, 2009 at 9:50 PM. Reason : /]

9/27/2009 9:50:17 PM

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=389

Quote :

"389: Frenemies This week we bring you stories about friends. Or wait, enemies? How about both? Tales of estranged sisters, BFFs breaking up and making up and breaking up, and how reality stars walk the fine line between making friends and making a name for themselves. Prologue. Host Ira Glass plays tape of two women who ended up as frenemies.They kept trying to be friends, but couldn't help themselves from fighting. Ira then speaks with psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad who has run scientific studies to answer the question: why don't we simply end these troubling kinds of friendships? Holt-Lunstad's research also shows that these relationships are much more common than you might think. (7 minutes) Act One. Chasing Amy. Family members can easily be frenemies. You're stuck with them. You love them. They sometimes do things that make you feel very strange. Which is how Jeanne Darst felt when her sister married a Muslim man and pulled away from her family. Darst is finishing her first book, Fiction Ruined My Family. (15 minutes) Song: "My Sister," Julianna Hatfield Act Two. I Am Here to Make Frenemies. We head to deep inside the natural habitat of frenemies: reality TV. Rich Juzwiak is a full-time blogger for VH1 and his own pop-culture blog which means he's spent a lot of time watching and dissecting reality TV shows. And last year, he noticed that one sentence seems to repeat an awful lot in the frenemy friendships that happen on reality TV. (5 minutes) Act Three. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace. David Rakoff demonstrates—in rhyme—how to make a wedding toast for people you never wanted to see married in the first place. Rakoff is the author of several books, most recently Don't Get Too Comfortable. (10 minutes) Act Four. The Case of the Long Lost Frenemy. Ira talks to a woman about a childhood friend of hers who mysteriously shows up after decades, for reasons that are only revealed as their correspondence unfolds. (15 minutes) Song: "When I Change My Life," Pretenders"

9/27/2009 10:05:58 PM

Quote :

"They actually did a study on that. Reasons people quoted included "I wouldn't be the sort of person to turn my back on someone having a rough time," "what does it say about me if I can't support a friend through the good and the bad," etc etc. Over 50% of people who responded to the survey said they had frenemies"

Quote :

"Basically they just said frenemies are people who are your friends even though they treat you like shit/are untrustworthy/cause you more pain than happiness/etc."

Assuming this is an accurate definition:
There's no excuse for a pattern of behavior that qualifies as treating one's friends like shit.
Lack of trustworthiness is not something that's periodic, so, again, this good time/bad time notion doesn't mean shit.

So on and so on.

What those kinds of people should really have said was "I'm that desperate for attention and/or companionship", because that's about what it boils down to.

To answer the original question: fuck no I don't have frenemies. Why the fuck would I? Apparently, some of you other people can keep up that business just fine on your own.

9/27/2009 11:01:34 PM

i'd say i probably have some, most of them put on the friendly face and act like they're in middle school still, but they're all being phased out accordingly now

9/27/2009 11:28:09 PM

^^^ for posting that up.

9/27/2009 11:38:58 PM

That's pretty much what a lot of my family feels like.

9/27/2009 11:42:12 PM

This is pretty much how I feel about TWW.
I hate you guys so much.
We should hang out more.

9/27/2009 11:47:39 PM

i had frenemies in high school, to be sure. but i wised up since then, and i no longer put up with that bullshit.

Now *I* am the frenemy that people have to watch out for.

9/28/2009 12:57:58 AM

Honestly I don't think I have any.

But who knows.

[Edited on September 28, 2009 at 1:11 AM. Reason : Maybe that means I'm frenemy! ]

9/28/2009 1:11:04 AM

i like juliana hatfield

9/28/2009 2:01:26 AM