and I'm looking at the menu when I see something funny, so i point it out to my wife:

Me: look, check that out... (*pointing*)

Her: what?

Me: "Pasta e Fagoli"

Her: okay.

Me: Fagoli. Get it? Get it??

Her: um, yeah... but there's nothing funny about that.

Me: I'm so not ordering that. It's totally ghey.

Her: ...

Me: AHAHAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA!

Her: why do you even think that's funny? that's just stupid.

Me: no way, it's hi-LARI-ous

Her: Look, don't say that stuff, okay?

Me: (*looks around for any gays*)

Her: Not for me. For him. (*points at our son*)

4-year-old: (*quietly coloring*)

Me: ...

10/9/2009 2:32:20 AM

i always wondered if you had to stop laughing at shit like that when you have kids. i'm glad you've cleared it up for me. i honestly can't imagine a day when i don't find that kind of humor to be funny anymore.

10/9/2009 2:38:20 AM

Joe, I don't have a problem with you, but somehow the fact that you post on TWW and have a 4 year old is profoundly disturbing to me.

Profoundly.

10/9/2009 2:39:45 AM

Your kid is gonna be gay. Ha.

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 2:44 AM. Reason : You are]

10/9/2009 2:43:54 AM

^^ now why you gotta hate on a brother?

^ if he is, i'll love my son just the same. But i'm pretty confident he is hetero. theres no gay genetics in my family.




[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 2:48 AM. Reason : ]

10/9/2009 2:44:59 AM

Nothing else to do?

10/9/2009 2:45:58 AM

well, look, just because you get married, have kids, start an SSRI regimen, and your wife quits having sex with you, doesnt mean you cant get on your old college message board, surf for porn and make thinly veiled hits on college gals who have daddy-issues.

mmkay?

10/9/2009 2:49:51 AM

You have defeated all of my arguments and made me look like a fool.

I salute you, sir.

10/9/2009 2:53:07 AM

Quote :

"Joe, I don't have a problem with you, but somehow the fact that you post on TWW and have a 4 year old is profoundly disturbing to me. Profoundly. "

haha, I have a 3 year old. Is that OK?

10/9/2009 2:56:15 AM

Well, I'm confident that you can kick my ass, so yes. Yes it is.

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 2:58 AM. Reason : read it wrong]

10/9/2009 2:58:20 AM

the thing that fucks with my head sometimes is that my kid might, in about 8 or 10 years, find all his old man's postings on the intarwebs.

then i'm gonna be all

i'll be looking for a major T-Dub server crash in about the year 2014, just to be safe.

10/9/2009 3:00:05 AM

captured teh moment quite well there joe.

10/9/2009 7:03:50 AM

your first mistake was going to olive garden

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 7:05 AM. Reason : but seriously, i've laughed at that shit too, tell your wife it's ok]

10/9/2009 7:04:45 AM

These scenarios happen daily.

I think my wife sprained her eyes the other day rolling them at me after giggling about something that was less than mature.

I think she pretends to get annoyed at me though. Anyone who loves "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" can't seriously get annoyed at someone giggling at farts and shit.

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 7:43 AM. Reason : oh yeah, and my two year old daughter laughs when she farts, just like her old man]

10/9/2009 7:41:54 AM

Farts are funny in and of themselves.

The word "fag" isn't funny in and of itself.

10/9/2009 7:48:56 AM

your child knows that, at the age of four, he has already surpassed you in maturity and is quietly embarassed for you

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 7:53 AM. Reason : did he sagely shake his head?]

10/9/2009 7:52:01 AM

Quote :

"well, look, just because you get married, have kids, start an SSRI regimen, and your wife quits having sex with you, doesnt mean you cant get on your old college message board, surf for porn and make thinly veiled hits on college gals who have daddy-issues. mmkay?"

I think that in some way you just became my hero.

10/9/2009 9:14:39 AM

Quote :

"i'll be looking for a major T-Dub server crash in about the year 2014, just to be safe."

This place crashes all the time, so I'm sure that nael will be happy to accommodate your request.

10/9/2009 9:49:02 AM

I mean I guess teaching your kid to be an immature homophobe is okay.

10/9/2009 10:02:30 AM

Your kid is a boy, this is how you bond. Cut a huge fart. Mom rolls her eyes as you and your son laugh your heads off. That's how it works.

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 10:06 AM. Reason : -]

10/9/2009 10:06:34 AM

So who doesn't know what they're gonna get now ?

I just don't know what I'm gonna get first !

10/9/2009 10:07:12 AM

NO MENU REQUIRED

would you like to try the never ending pasta bowl

I'm going to need to see a menu

BARREL OF LOLS

10/9/2009 10:08:46 AM

It's "Pasta e Fagioli", not "Fagoli; and it's pronounced "Pasta Fazool".

Just a helpful FYI so you don't order the Pasta e Faggy Oli a bunch of times at the cafeteria at work.

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 10:27 AM. Reason : l]

10/9/2009 10:25:55 AM

I'LL TAKE THAT CREAMY BRULLEY

10/9/2009 10:26:38 AM

I've actually heard someone pronounce filet mignon phonetically before

at a formal dinner

we were more surprised than carl faced

10/9/2009 10:30:18 AM

I was at this wedding one time and I ordered the filet mignon thinking they were going to bring out a fillet of the mignon fish. Then they brought out this cute little steak. It looked pretty tasty so I ate it rather than complaining about how I ordered the fish. Thank goodness I didn't complain about not getting that fish.

My parents dropped the ball on a lot of things.

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 10:34 AM. Reason : s]

10/9/2009 10:34:13 AM

Quote :

"My parents dropped the ball on a lot of things."

Ya, especially on your head!



ZING!

10/9/2009 10:51:24 AM

That doesn't even make sense. Don't worry, I've dropped the ball on a few ZING!'s myself.

10/9/2009 11:11:03 AM

dammit I don't wanna grow up and be a bitch to my husband for making a joke.

10/9/2009 12:25:50 PM

I want to welcome you to the long road you're about to travel...

where you will forfeit half your stuff as well as your self-respect.

10/9/2009 12:54:32 PM

sounds like marriage sucks. I think I'll pass.

10/9/2009 1:01:11 PM

We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about.

10/9/2009 2:33:43 PM

[/Ferrell]

10/9/2009 2:40:05 PM

^^that's the first thing that popped in my head lol

I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest were we not?


And pussyshoes that commercial makes me laugh every time!

[Edited on October 9, 2009 at 2:41 PM. Reason : a]

10/9/2009 2:41:18 PM

Quote :

"I don't wanna grow up and be a bitch to my husband for making a joke."

well, shes the kind of person who never would that kind of joke funny, ever.

and im the kind of person who loves to tell jokes like that because I know she'll never think it's funny.

so, who's really the bitch?



[Edited on October 10, 2009 at 2:02 AM. Reason : ]

10/10/2009 2:01:27 AM

Quote :

"well, look, just because you get married, have kids, start an SSRI regimen, and your wife quits having sex with you, doesnt mean you cant get on your old college message board, surf for porn and make thinly veiled hits on college gals who have daddy-issues. mmkay?"

Two thumbs up here.

If my ex-wife and I were still married, I'd have a 15 year old stepson. He and I used to fart and laugh about it all the time. Fuck, you gotta share such moments when they come or lose them forever.

Never lose a bit of your kid. Only boring people grow up entirely.

10/10/2009 2:14:52 AM

Yeah, Joe-Id say that wife of yours is a definite keeper!

But yeah, i can see how you thought it would warrant a laugh....but if your karma points are low, the little one could grow up enjoying 'Will and Grace" and not GI Joe, hehe...

10/10/2009 2:21:07 AM

she's a good woman. but we dont share a lot of the same humor. she thinks TWW is juvenile and offensive

10/10/2009 2:30:18 AM

Yeah, so did my ex.

But then she refuses to grow up in about 20000 other ways. Good riddance. Though she was a good lay.

10/10/2009 2:32:42 AM

i just had a realization ... you can't spell "sophomore" without "homo"

.... and then i chuckled.




*sigh*

10/10/2009 5:23:08 AM

you can't spell "homo erectus" without erect.

10/10/2009 12:15:47 PM

cumquat

10/10/2009 12:29:37 PM