So I got an iphone yesterday. WOOOO- cutting edge technology- fun, exciting, I can play connect four until my fingers fall off..........

...no...

This iPhone has put a HEX on my entire life. Since I got my iPhone yesterday at 5:00 pm the following catastrophes have happened in Lauren's Life:

1- My space heater broke (I live in a shack- so consider that a double whammy fucked)
2- My roommate looked at porn on my computer and now I have 50 porn pop ups flying at me (...it was my roommate, i fucking swear)
3- I can't find a pair of socks to wear and my feet are really cold.
4- I'm hungry
5- My boyfriend thinks i'm a total tool bag for getting an iPhone.
6- A vacuum hose has cracked in my car and thus whistles when I accelerate
7- I had to eat frozen bubba burgers for dinner on my forman grill.


Ugh. I have got to return this iPhone. What a HEX!!

Duhm Ddumm superstitionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn...the writings on the waaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll...

11/13/2009 12:28:04 PM

The only one of those that's related to the iPhone purchase is your boyfriend's disdain. And he's an even bigger toolbag if he thinks that it matters worth a tinker's damn what phone you have.

11/13/2009 12:29:15 PM

I no longer want an iPhone. I want something that can run Android.

I read (1) as "MySpace heater broke" and was confused for a second.
(2) download and clean with adaware and spybot
(7) What's wrong with bubba burgers?

11/13/2009 12:30:46 PM

...did you just say "tinker's damn"??

What, now I'm in 1839 to top it all off?

AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!

11/13/2009 12:31:11 PM

Take it back and go Droid. mePhone's are so last week.

11/13/2009 12:34:16 PM

thats what she said

11/13/2009 12:34:46 PM

Quote :

"4- I'm hungry"

Damn this one happens to me every day.

I wonder what sort of divinely cursed artifact I have picked up somewhere.

11/13/2009 12:35:39 PM

whaaaaa, I blame all my problems on an inanimate objects, whaaaaa.

cry me a fucking river you douchebasket.

11/13/2009 12:36:40 PM

I think it has more to do with Friday the 13th than your phone

11/13/2009 12:36:49 PM

The cure is in my balls, but you must suck my dick to get it

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

11/13/2009 12:37:58 PM

First world problems

11/13/2009 12:38:20 PM

^

11/13/2009 12:40:12 PM

You're hungry? My damn tooth with a crappy filling shattered into pieces on a hard bit of rice crispy on Tuesday morning and I haven't eaten anything but Luke warm cream of wheat and yogurt since then, and its going to be three weeks till my insurance approves the cap I need. Whats wrong with bubba burgers on a George Foreman grill anyway? Eat cool cream of wheat and mashed potatos for three days then it will taste fantastic.

My wife doesn't care what kind of phone I have. So I guess you have my sympathy for the tool bag boyfriend, but hey, you could just dump him.

I am also out of socks today, I'm going to throw some in the washer. and as for the broken heater, why hasn't your guy fixed that and the car for that matter, again i think you just need a new boyfriend.

11/13/2009 12:46:13 PM

I feel the same way as op......except I did not get a new phone to trigger the bad luck.

11/13/2009 3:34:39 PM

You need to ditch dat triflin' ass moflucka. Us real mens can fix anything with safety wire and duct tape and truly don't give a rat's ass what kind of phone you be sportin' as long as it works for you. And we can cook up amazing meals after digging through the leftover/miscellaneous stuff in the freezer. If homey can't fix a vacuum hose, provide you with a meal, or keep his mouth shut regarding your phone choice...then you need to send his hopeless ass packin'...

jus' sayin'...

11/13/2009 3:42:41 PM

my roommate got an iphone and honestly the only thing he uses his computer for any more is porn because its too small on the iphone, so i think your "roommate" did you a favor by streamlining the process.

11/13/2009 4:22:36 PM

You could be sitting in a hospital with a loved one for the past 3 weeks...just sayin'...

11/13/2009 4:29:42 PM

I'll fuck your shit

11/13/2009 4:35:31 PM

Quote :

"5- My boyfriend thinks i'm a total tool bag for getting an iPhone."

HAHAHAHA. He is now respected.

11/13/2009 4:51:35 PM

Goddamn horseface has some shitty ass threads about her shitty ass problems.

11/13/2009 4:51:45 PM

having a roommate in a shack must blow


at least you don't have massive diarrhea

11/13/2009 4:54:08 PM

aww guys, i feel bad about the space heater thing



i mean she only has some hay to keep warm now...

11/13/2009 4:57:01 PM

damn that's fucked up

11/13/2009 5:13:55 PM

damn! Look at my fat ass!!

12/8/2009 8:15:51 PM

it has nothing to do with the iphone

and everything to do with stealing the lighter i stole from Edwin McCain 8 years ago.

12/8/2009 8:38:25 PM

12/8/2009 8:49:03 PM

Quote :

"tinker's damn"

i think they prefer to be called travellers

12/8/2009 10:06:07 PM

so, your chart says your shit's all fucked up and you talk like a fag



UNSCANNABLE

12/8/2009 10:07:15 PM

there's an app to solve each one of your problems

12/8/2009 10:07:49 PM

did paul ever get a new tooth

12/8/2009 10:08:00 PM

boobs and butts

12/8/2009 10:09:51 PM

and apparently the iphone is making you butcher stevie wonder, too.

12/8/2009 10:12:16 PM

theres a map for that

12/8/2009 10:14:26 PM

wtf is an Android phone?

I'm still stuck with 2004 technology

12/8/2009 10:16:03 PM