Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up first. I say this to our idiot sales reps all the time.

12/1/2009 12:14:29 PM

Suck buckshot kid

12/1/2009 12:14:51 PM

my new favorite word is sinceriously

12/1/2009 12:17:06 PM

say hi to your mom

12/1/2009 12:19:17 PM

When I change the subject, I go "speaking of ________" (Ie: haha, that's awesome! Speaking of bad jokes, what's for dinner? You want to go out to Chick-Fil-A tonight honey?)

and that pace-leading bullshit I used do a few years ago.

12/1/2009 12:19:30 PM

It is what it is





When we Hongry we eat




Deez nuts

12/1/2009 12:21:23 PM

deez nuts is the only good one in the thread

12/1/2009 12:22:03 PM

Slicker than snot on a doorknob

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 12:24 PM. Reason : said in a twangy "slicker'n snot on a doorknob" way]

12/1/2009 12:23:41 PM

aha, I think redneck sayings are pretty much the best.

it's hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock out here

Ain’t even wore the tits off the tires

12/1/2009 12:28:17 PM

"well that's like your opinion man"

12/1/2009 12:33:15 PM

Clear as mud

12/1/2009 12:35:49 PM

anything stated by Foghorn Leghorn

I'm Astraladvent and i approved this message.

12/1/2009 12:37:18 PM

same difference

12/1/2009 12:37:30 PM

"Happier than a pig in shit" is one of my favorites

12/1/2009 12:37:42 PM

from blood meridian

"I Gaurangoddamntee it"


also anything from Yatzhee

"None other than Ron Fuckmothering Pearlman"


I'm Astraladvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 12:39 PM. Reason : ]

12/1/2009 12:38:28 PM

Let me tell you a couple, three things.

12/1/2009 12:39:34 PM

"spray it with some panther piss" (use wd-40 on it)

"useful as tits on a warthog"

"if it was a snake, it woulda bit me" (looking for something when it was beside you the whole time)

12/1/2009 12:39:46 PM

straight as a dog's leg

12/1/2009 12:40:40 PM

"I don't know how you do it in the north, but down here _____________"

I say this as much as possible to yankees even when its not applicable

I'm Astraladvent and i approved this message.

12/1/2009 12:40:44 PM

As queer as a:

three dollar bill
football bat

12/1/2009 12:42:33 PM

And all this time I just thought Tarheel was another word for Faggot

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 12:47 PM. Reason : durr]

12/1/2009 12:47:26 PM

"hornier than a two peckered billy goat"

12/1/2009 1:35:28 PM

Fuckin A
How do ya like dem apples
Whatever Queer

12/1/2009 1:38:01 PM

I've heard 2 fat people sharing a bed describe it like "taking a 5 pound shit in a 3 pound box". I liked it. But it doesn't make sense. Weight of the box doesn't matter. Should be "taking a 5 pound shit in a 3 pound capacity box". but that doesn't have the same ring to it i guess.


HOW BOUT THEM APPLES?

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 1:39 PM. Reason : ^YOU SON OF A BITCH! ]

12/1/2009 1:39:18 PM

Happier than a new bride on a feather bed (thanks Paula Deen)

12/1/2009 1:39:46 PM

Quote :

""useful as tits on a warthog""

it's "tits on a boar hog", which refers to a male hog

12/1/2009 1:40:39 PM

ive always heard it as tits on a boar

one of my faves and one that i subsequently use alot is "no matter how much lipstick you smear on that hog..."

12/1/2009 1:43:39 PM

I agree with "Happier than a pig in shit"

Also:

"Tough titty said the kitty, cause there ain't no milk" (my mom would say this to me when I wanted something we couldn't afford )

12/1/2009 1:44:14 PM

bitchassness

12/1/2009 1:44:19 PM

swimp & bloach

12/1/2009 1:44:28 PM

Quote :

"I've heard 2 fat people sharing a bed describe it like "taking a 5 pound shit in a 3 pound box". I liked it. But it doesn't make sense. Weight of the box doesn't matter. Should be "taking a 5 pound shit in a 3 pound capacity box". but that doesn't have the same ring to it i guess."

Dunno about box, but I hear variations of that all the time, i.e. "like putting 10 lbs. of XYZ in a 5 lb. bag." Doesn't mean the bag weighs 5 pounds, means it has a capacity of 5 pounds. So it does make sense if you know that's how bags (and probably boxes) are classified.

12/1/2009 4:59:21 PM

Balls to the wall!

12/1/2009 4:59:57 PM

GOD you are hot.

12/1/2009 5:00:16 PM

My mom used to say Tough titty said the kitty, but the milk's still good

12/1/2009 5:00:47 PM

never too much money

12/1/2009 5:08:17 PM

that's what she said

12/1/2009 5:09:26 PM

shit happens

12/1/2009 5:11:49 PM

open up a can of whoop ass

Let me tell you something, shit for brains....

Shut your filthy whore lying mouth or you are a filthy lying whore

bitch cakes

12/1/2009 5:13:56 PM

what's the deal with the profanity

12/1/2009 5:14:56 PM

cursing just makes things funnier or more poignant

12/1/2009 5:16:06 PM

not really

and I'm flood controlled so I can no longer continue this discussion for another 45 minutes or so

12/1/2009 5:16:19 PM

I fucking agree with punchmonk

12/1/2009 5:17:32 PM

______________ is as fucked up as a nagger's checkbook

12/1/2009 5:18:25 PM

I'm your Huckleberry

12/1/2009 5:28:18 PM

A friend called me a sack of fuck once. We both stopped for a tic and then busted out laughing.

12/1/2009 5:39:07 PM

Well Whoopty Fuckin' Doo

12/1/2009 5:44:30 PM

stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.

12/1/2009 5:48:40 PM

simmer, simmer like a stove.

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 5:54 PM. Reason : my personal saying]

12/1/2009 5:53:41 PM

Huh, Boy huh?

12/1/2009 6:11:22 PM

set em up

12/1/2009 6:12:10 PM