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Living with edges in the mouth

I was taking a jam jar (mulberry!) out of the fridge, and it slipped and fell on the floor. It broke into many pieces, and the jam was all on the floor. I picked out all the big pieces by hand and threw them away, and then I scooped up the jam into a bowl, leaving behind a very thin layer on the floor. I love that jam, and didn't want to throw it away.

The salvaged jam had tens upon tens of small glass shrapnel/shards in it. Most were 3-8 mm in size, and some were like icicles, long and extremely thin (VERY SHARP).

The jam was more of a preserve, with lots of mulberry pieces, and hundreds of raspberry-like seeds, so it made it difficult to pick out the pieces. But, I spent 30 minutes picking out the shards by feeling them with my index finger. Initially, I would confuse many of the seeds for the glass, but after a little practice, I got good at it. I even put some of the pieces in my mouth and swished them around to get the jam off them. I felt like I had got nearly all of them out, but I didn't feel like spending any more time so I put it in the fridge. I removed about 20 pieces.

Next day, I went through the jam again and didn't feel there was any more glass initially. But, I spent 45 minutes, and picked out 10-15 pieces which I didn't feel the previous day! A couple of the thin very sharp ones also nicked me. I guessed that another few pieces would still be left, but stopped due to the diminishing returns on my time. After I was finished, I made my famous cream cheese and jam sandwich.

I ended up chewing and eating 3 pieces in that sandwich! Pieces that small crush easily in the mouth, especially if they are suspended in a semi-solid like jam. But they crush to a fine gritty powder which feels like there is sand in your food.

Anyway, I enjoyed the sandwich, and made another sandwich (another 2 pieces in this one) to finish the jam!

My story of the day. (2 days ago, actually)

I should go on X-Factor!

12/1/2009 5:18:12 PM

so tuff

12/1/2009 5:19:44 PM

living on the edge of wuss cliff

12/1/2009 5:20:49 PM

You know whats really living on the edge? Trying to decide between smooth or crunchy peanut butter.

12/1/2009 5:23:40 PM

tightwad

12/1/2009 5:23:52 PM

i'm not sure what a mulberry is

[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 5:27 PM. Reason : almond butter tastes like peanut butter]

12/1/2009 5:24:54 PM

peanut butter

any other nut butter

12/1/2009 5:25:05 PM

you are a fucking moron

12/1/2009 5:26:03 PM

You almost died. GG

12/1/2009 5:26:34 PM

tl;dr

12/1/2009 5:28:49 PM

hope you don't have a series of "unexplained" nosebleeds and bloody stool over the next week

also, why didn't you just buy another jar of jam?

12/1/2009 5:28:59 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mulberry

Quote :

"Morus or Mulberry is a genus of 10–16 species of deciduous trees native to warm temperate and subtropical regions of Asia, Africa, Europe, and the Americas, with the majority of the species native to Asia. The fruit is a multiple fruit, 2–3 centimetres (0.8–1.2 in.) tall. The fruits when immature are white or green to pale yellow with pink edges. In most species the fruits are red when they are ripening. A fully ripened mulberry in these species is dark purple to black, edible, and sweet with a good flavor in several species. The fruits of the white-fruited cultivar of the white mulberry on the other hand are green when raw and white when ripe; the fruit in this cultivar is sweet, and has a very mild flavor compared with the dark fruits."

The jam I had had some whole ones as well, and they looked exactly like blackberries.

12/1/2009 5:29:42 PM

Quote :

"you are a fucking moron"

No, I just know that tiny pieces of glass can't kill or harm much at all. But yes, I am a moron for wasting nearly 1.5 hours to clean up the jam.

Quote :

"You almost died. GG"

See above!

Quote :

"also, why didn't you just buy another jar of jam?"

I grew up on cream cheese and jam sandwiches, but I am quitting both now in an endeavour to eat even healthier and cleaner than I eat now. I would totally get sugar-free jams if they made them (no-sugar added jams are sweetened with "concentrated grape juice", which is basically sugar). However, I have seen diet jams sweetened with sugar alcohols (sorbitol, maltitol, etc), so I might buy one of those, but still eat it sparingly. I LOVE jam.

12/1/2009 5:34:11 PM

I wish I could be like you.

12/1/2009 5:36:15 PM

...ok dude... whatever floats your boat.

I'm just saying...


I had a friend that was sentenced to prison. After he was released, he was telling me about some of his "stories". Anyway, he was telling me how he was put in the kitchen to work... basically cleaning and cooking food for other inmates. This prison had a lot of drugs running through them, and some inmates were trying to kill another inmate for some reason relating to drug running. My buddy's gang in the prison decided to make my buddy crush up a bunch of glass, and put it into another inmate's (italian guy I think) food every day. The glass was crushed up so tiny that the italian inmate couldn't taste or feel it. Well, sure enough, after a couple of days, the glass started to cut the guy up inside. Started shitting blood, puking blood, and he eventually died...

12/1/2009 5:40:40 PM

I'm not worried about the glass, but the fact remains you ate jam off the dirty ass floor.

12/1/2009 5:45:44 PM

Oh damn

No more eating glass for me! It has been 2 days and I hope the glass dust has all passed out, and any residual inside won't cut up my bowels from the inside.


[Edited on December 1, 2009 at 5:47 PM. Reason : ^ Grow an immune system, dude... and anyway, I said I left a thin layer on the floor]

12/1/2009 5:46:25 PM

12/1/2009 5:47:33 PM