At Christmas my 3 yr old nephew kept saying "giggity giggity". Evidently his father taught him to do it when he is excited about something.

More? good, bad, funny...

1/4/2010 12:28:27 AM

hahahahahahaha

1/4/2010 12:29:41 AM

Funny for now, bad if he keeps this habit into his teenage and adult years.

1/4/2010 12:31:27 AM

I was asked to babysit once. Girl was 2 years old, maybe a little less. Didn't talk much, but I taught her how to say "I have whooping cough!"

It was enough to get me out of babysitting again, anyway.

1/4/2010 12:32:43 AM

teach them to hunt, fish, camp, hike safely and to be good stewards of our natural resources

1/4/2010 12:34:57 AM

^admirable

I was in the Kangaroo on Avent Ferry one day, and this woman was talking to her YOUNG girl, like still wearing a diaper but walking. The woman told her child to come to her, leave the things alone. The little girl's response, "you a bitch", to which the woman replied, "you da bitch, bitch".

[Edited on January 4, 2010 at 12:40 AM. Reason : .]

[Edited on January 4, 2010 at 12:41 AM. Reason : ..]

[Edited on January 4, 2010 at 12:41 AM. Reason : ha]

1/4/2010 12:37:25 AM

you don't really have to teach them anything for them to pick up funny expressions. you have to be pretty careful about what you say around young kids or what you let them listen to if you don't want them repeating it!

this girl (3 years old) came into the store i work at and had evidently heard some song on the radio (i'm guessing a rap song) and she kept saying "take your pants offfffff take your pants offffff everybody gonna take their pants off."

her mom was really embarrassed haha...but i mean i guess the station was just on in the car! it was pretty funny/cute though. but at school or something, it obviously wouldn't be as cute.

1/4/2010 12:40:37 AM

^ haha, I saw a similar thing with a small, maybe 5 or so child, skipping down the street going "Im a hazard to myself, im a hazard to myself!"

1/4/2010 12:42:50 AM

^ hahaha....I would have laughed, but watched her closely to make sure she didn't hurt herself while I could see her.

1/4/2010 12:44:21 AM

My mom works at a preschool and has several stories...one of which is about me, before she started working there.

My mom pulls up the car to pick me up, and the teacher walks me out laughing. "Mrs. GOP, I thought you should know, I caught your son peeing in the sandbox out in the playground today."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope he apologized."

"Actually, when I told him he shouldn't go to the bathroom outside, he said, 'But my dad does it all the time!'" Which is fucking true, because we live in the woods and peeing outside is awesome.

I have other, better ones, that I may tell momentarily.

1/4/2010 12:44:35 AM

holding out? haha...I appreciate your participation in a noob created thread none the less.

1/4/2010 12:46:20 AM

yea the 4 year old i babysit had also heard her mom say bad words before. usually she spells them out in front of her but i guess she has slipped a few times and one time when the girl dropped something on the floor she said "fuuuuuuck"



gotta be careful about that!

1/4/2010 12:46:41 AM

I was trying to remember them. Only one springs to mind:

After mom had been working at the preschool for years, she walked a kid out to his mom's car and found the mother laughing hysterically. She looked at the mom quizzically.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. GOP, you just won't believe what little Joey said to me yesterday."

"What's that?"

"He said that you said he had a big penis."

Mom looked horrified, but after some conversation she realized that what had happened was that, as mom was taking the toddler to the bathroom, she was proud of him for getting on the toilet on his own and said something like, "My, aren't you a big boy!" And the kid had thought she meant he was well-hung.

Even after mom figured this out she was red as a beet and said, "Well, I guess after this you'll never be able to look at my husband with a straight face again."

[Edited on January 4, 2010 at 12:50 AM. Reason : ]

1/4/2010 12:49:13 AM

My 5 and 7 year old cousins were fighting over a game controller to play marble madness. The 5 year old goes "You already played, its my turn cockbite!" It was such a random and powerful slam delivered so casually without missing a beat, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

1/4/2010 12:50:04 AM

get me a beer

1/4/2010 12:52:33 AM

I wanna teach my kids how to get me a beer out of the fridge in case my wife isn't around.

[Edited on January 4, 2010 at 12:53 AM. Reason : ^ haha beat me to it]

1/4/2010 12:52:59 AM

not a single one of you rude bastards has listed "please" and "thank you".

1/4/2010 12:53:47 AM

certain people will actually mock you for saying please and thank you.

1/4/2010 12:55:35 AM

I'll take that chance for fear of having obnoxious ass children. Better to be on the safe side on that one I would imagine.

1/4/2010 12:56:55 AM

After hanging out with my sisters and their young kids, I've caught myself saying "If that were my kid, I would..." on many occasions. I've come to the conclusion that my kids would know a number of party tricks and not much else.

1/4/2010 12:59:37 AM

The key thing I hope to teach my children is, "If you piss me off I will chain your ass to the water heater." It was good enough for me and by God it will be good enough for them.

1/4/2010 12:59:52 AM

I wasn't saying you shouldn't I just think it's sad that crappy people will actually insult you for trying to be polite. Like you're being a snob by trying to have manners.

1/4/2010 1:00:16 AM

Quote :

"I was asked to babysit once. Girl was 2 years old, maybe a little less. Didn't talk much, but I taught her how to say "I have whooping cough!" It was enough to get me out of babysitting again, anyway."

YES

1/4/2010 1:00:39 AM

No kids for me, but I swear I'm going to go all Clint Eastwood on these kids if they ever fuck with me.

1/4/2010 1:02:46 AM

agreed...I mean, when I was a cashier for a short time at Dick's Sporting Goods, I said "yes ma'am and yes sir" even if the person appeared younger than myself. There were several women that seemed offended by this, in my opinion they were just insecure of their appearance though, trying not to be middle-aged.

1/4/2010 1:03:00 AM

Quote :

"The key thing I hope to teach my children is, "If you piss me off I will chain your ass to the water heater." It was good enough for me and by God it will be good enough for them."

My favorite is "I'll kill you, bury you in the back yard, and make another one that looks just like you."

1/4/2010 1:05:23 AM

^haha

1/4/2010 1:06:42 AM

"i brought you into this world and i can take you out of it" was my mama's favorite

1/4/2010 1:10:59 AM

My father used to threaten me by saying that he would sell me to the gypsies.

1/4/2010 3:54:49 AM

Quote :

"you don't really have to teach them anything for them to pick up funny expressions. you have to be pretty careful about what you say around young kids or what you let them listen to if you don't want them repeating it!"

Long, long time ago I was working for a store in the mall. My manager got a call from some psycho bitch saying that I swore to her 4-year old daughter and taught her the word "fuck." Never mind this woman was with her child the entire time and I was reading a magazine at the register because I was a bad employee I think she was just hoping to score some free merchandise

1/4/2010 4:07:25 AM

Seeing horribly misbehaved and spoiled rotten children on a daily basis can be very frustrating and blood-boiling.

- Teach them to clean up after themselves, whether on the dining table, mall food court, park picnic, etc.

- Teach them to respect nature, and to leave it in the same state, if not better after getting benefit from it.

- Teach them to respect people [and animals] and be courteous a priori to people of all countries, religions, ethnicities, genders, ages, professions, and social classes. Use 'sir', 'ma'am', 'please', and 'thank you' even when talking to the cleaning lady or the doorman.

- Teach them about good nutrition, and establish good eating habits from the day they start weaning.

- Teach them the love of learning and knowledge, all sorts of knowledge - practical, theoretical. Make them book-smart and street-smart at the same time.

- Teach them the importance of maintaining good physical health for life, starting from infancy.

- Teach them the value and importance of hard work and earning a good honest living, even if you happen to be very well off. If you can easily afford to get them a BMW, get them a Camry.

- If you teach them all that, there would be no worries about how their children would turn out. And if everybody did it, the world would be a better place.

1/4/2010 5:35:23 AM

^ +1

1/4/2010 5:45:02 AM

man you have got to teach a kid to cuss

if a kid can't cuss, he can't vent his frustration and confusion in a nonviolent fashion

and he will either get into a bad spot quick

or grow up to be a fucked-up young adult

that is not cool

1/4/2010 8:12:03 AM

My s.o.'s niece (who's about 1 1/2) puts up her arms and goes "TOUCHDOWWWWNNNNN!!!"

She also throws a royal hissy fit if she doesn't get everything she wants... so I say you teach kids that they can't get everything they want.

1/4/2010 8:18:26 AM

i will teach your kids to believe they are invincible when wearing red

1/4/2010 8:18:56 AM

^most admirable sir

1/5/2010 3:34:15 AM

Quote :

"man you have got to teach a kid to cuss"

Sure, after they get a job, they can cuss all they want. Until then, they better hush their mouth.

1/5/2010 3:50:43 AM

Quote :

""i brought you into this world and i can take you out of it" was my mama's favorite"

My mom also uses this a lot.

---

I'm the eldest son in my family, and so one day the following conversation occurred:

Younger Bro: "Grumpy, you ruined my life!"

Me: "Well, I was born first, so technically you ruined my life."

Dad: "Listen! You both ruined my life, so shut up."

This is the same dad who taught me "Alabama Song" (better known as "show me the way to the next whiskey bar") as the first song I ever knew, and also who told me that he and mom found me at the dump, and mom made him keep me.

1/5/2010 4:33:52 AM

this guy was telling me the other day that as a kid, him and all his friends were taught that its okay to walk out in the street and that cars had to stop for you, and thats why black people always stroll through the street

1/5/2010 7:47:06 AM

QFT

Quote :

"so I say you teach kids that they can't get everything they want."

THERE IS NOTHING MORE ANNOYING THAN BITCHY SPOILT KIDS (pre-teens, teens, young adults) WHO THINK THEY DESERVE THE BEST OF EVERYTHING (from their parents, teachers, friends, etc)... grades, cars, cell phones, useless materialistic posessions, whatever. And they gotta have it because their best friend has it. And they always want the latest model of the product.

1/5/2010 8:01:29 AM

Last night there was a 2.5 year old that kept saying "sexy"

My brothers taught a 3 year old to say "That's my cock" anytime he saw and rooster.
They also thought him to say "Barney's gay" anytime someone said anything about Barney.

My neighbor told us the story of how his whole family was in the car laughing and then when it got quiet the 4 year old screamed out "it's not fucking funny!!!"

[Edited on January 5, 2010 at 11:57 AM. Reason : ]

1/5/2010 11:55:15 AM

Teach them to cover their mouth when they cough.

This PSA brought to you by the 3 year old who managed to spread a cough/cold to, at last count, 5 people while visiting for the holidays. I hate being sick.

1/5/2010 12:30:34 PM

One of the first things that we taught my son to say was "Yay!" Now he says "Yay!" all the time. He falls down, he poops, he breaks something, he finishes his lunch, he gets a hug. . .it's always "YAY!" with his hands thrown up in the air. He's not going to ever have an ego problem.

1/5/2010 1:06:40 PM