hedberg

laying here and i can't sleep and there is some crappy comedy show on and all i really wish would show up is some new mitchness.

2/21/2010 2:05:26 AM

as do I, as do I

2/21/2010 2:06:35 AM

Oh god. I miss him so bad. I still crack up at his shit.

2/21/2010 2:09:21 AM

and randomly heard from the person who introduced me to him on friday so he was already on my mind.....plus all the limes in my drink tonight. my how they float.

2/21/2010 2:11:30 AM

whats your favorite hedberg quote?

one of mine is:

Quote :

" I think they could take Sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn't even care. I can't imagine five years from now saying, "Damn, remember Sesame seeds? What happened? All the buns are blank!" They're gonna have to change that McDonald's song: "Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a... bun." How's a Sesame seed stick to a bun? That's fuckin' magical! There's got to be some Sesame seed glue out there! Either that, or they're adhesive on one side. "Take the Sesame seed out, remove the backing, place it on the bun. Now your bun will look spectacular." What does a Sesame seed grow into? I don't know; we never gave them a chance! What the fuck is a Sesame? It's a street! It's a way...to open shit!"

[Edited on February 21, 2010 at 2:19 AM. Reason : .]

2/21/2010 2:18:46 AM

i'm not sure if this is technically my fav, but i can remember the moment i heard it.... fell out of my chair at work laughin. my boss came over to investigate and became an instant mitch fan.

Quote :

"Some songs have a special meaning for a man in regards to a special woman. But this can backfire, because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with but now it’s being cheapened. ‘We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better life so let’s keep on giving… Remember that song, baby? The night I fucked you in the pet cemetery?"

2/21/2010 2:23:31 AM

Quote :

"BUOYANCY OF CITRUS"

2/21/2010 2:44:33 AM

I miss the chili at Mitch's Tavern.

2/21/2010 7:02:36 AM

also good when accompanied by crummy saltines

2/21/2010 2:30:35 PM

club sandwich one is my absolute favorite

"how do you feel about frilly little toothpicks!?!?!?!?"

[Edited on February 21, 2010 at 2:32 PM. Reason : .]

2/21/2010 2:31:55 PM

I'M FOR 'EM!

2/21/2010 2:33:07 PM

When I used to trip on acid I would see beams of light. Every now and then I would hear funny noises. They sounded a lot like CAR HORNS!

2/21/2010 2:34:42 PM

"I play sports..." is my profile quote.

2/21/2010 2:35:51 PM

Quote :

"Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck."

2/21/2010 2:36:26 PM

mitches gumbo

2/21/2010 4:59:35 PM

2/21/2010 6:30:40 PM

Quote :

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah"."

2/21/2010 7:15:43 PM

don't lie, you don't really miss him

2/21/2010 7:18:35 PM

naw my 2 am pain was very real

2/21/2010 7:21:14 PM

Quote :

"Green means "hold on a minute." Yellow means "Go ahead". Red means "Where the fuck did you get that banana?""

2/21/2010 7:45:56 PM

^ haha love that one

2/21/2010 7:47:16 PM

2/21/2010 7:53:15 PM

Quote :

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. "

2/21/2010 9:01:30 PM

^ hahahaha

2/21/2010 9:30:47 PM