3:


Here we see musician Meatloaf publicly accusing a mysterious woman (later identified as "Karla DeVito") of intentionally walking on-camera without making any attempt to become invisible to the naked eye.

End result: DeVito convicted under draconian San-Fransisco obscenity laws. [[INTERPOL drops federal charges (upon conviction) relating to portions of the Gulf of Mexico being incapable of supporting even the simplest forms of life.]]

Karla receives a 4 year suspended sentence. (She later is forced to serve 8 months of that sentence deep under the earth's crust for refusing to honor a judges ruling that she remain under at least a "metric tonne of ..... protective lead/febreeze alloy" while still daylight and through the duration of the summer months) -[citation needed]

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2:


Meatloaf makes another appearance as an audience member snaps this pic of the singer showing off his new "ear-rings". After a foreboding comment about how painful the new hoops were, he forces an animatronic tree-flocking spokes-model to "Touch them. Make them dance."
It was just after she had done this, that this photo was snapped and it became evident that someone had driven round rings of pre-stressed steel deep into the base of his skull, passing directly through the brain-stem and spinal cord.

End Result: Meatloaf was Instantly killed.
Miraculously, brought back to life by an irate Burt Reynolds (Who, having worked with Dom Delouise, was familiar with the naval electromagnetic phenomena exhibited by large conductive hulls passing through saltwater) when he stripped meatloaf's super-conducting dinner-jacket off of his still twitching frame and touched one arm to a stretch-mark behind his ear, and the other to the singer's negatively charged chest, thus "zapping" the waxy behemoth to life.
Reynolds, satisfied that the show could now continue, again became enraged and threatened "atomic fire" when no-one appeared to know exactly who the fuck "Burt Reynolds" was supposed to be.

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1:


Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes the first person to actually mispronounce the word "colonel" without breaking any phonetic guidelines.
The force generated from the slapping of tongue on soft-pallet creates a temporary cosmic-singularity which (according to international academy of scientific disasters) released energy equaled to an estimated "Four trillion exploding suns". Not newsworthy in itself, but for the fact that at exactly that moment, a series of "planet killer" comets crossed through the path of the utterance and were savagely detonated, safely well above the earth's atmosphere.


End Result: Unintelligible

4/2/2010 3:52:36 AM

WAT

4/2/2010 3:55:08 AM

this is like uncomfortable plot summaries

but more high-minded and less funny

4/2/2010 4:00:55 AM

"high-minded"? you are a tit

4/5/2010 12:52:54 AM

Quote :

"DRACONIAN SAN-FRAN LAW"

4/5/2010 12:53:43 AM

john water exposed???

4/5/2010 1:52:08 AM

His name was Robert Paulson

4/5/2010 5:24:06 AM

dumb.

4/5/2010 7:38:59 AM