I have seen people wait years to move in together and it fuck up within a few months. Others I know moved in together after a few weeks and are married to this day.

Is it all luck or do yall think there is method to the appropriate time to move in with your significant other?

5/7/2010 11:44:39 AM

i won't move in with a BF before marriage

ibt "that's dumb" comments

5/7/2010 11:45:20 AM

never ever

5/7/2010 11:45:59 AM

so, ladies, if you want it to work, move in with him and then forget to take your birth control

next thing you know, you'll be preggers and he'll feel obligated to put a ring on it

5/7/2010 11:46:30 AM

well lets say live at their place consistently while having your own apt; in other words, sleeping there every night.

5/7/2010 11:46:36 AM

Never if your bf is Gloveco

5/7/2010 11:46:37 AM

i have to know what its like to live with the person first, at least 6 months or so before marriage

5/7/2010 11:46:55 AM

whenever you feel like it is right for you?

there isn't an objectively right answer to this question since people and relationships vary considerably. so. thanks for asking another insightful question.

5/7/2010 11:47:13 AM

not until all blu-rays are 16x9.

5/7/2010 11:47:14 AM

^ haha

5/7/2010 11:47:40 AM

you sinners are going STRAIGHT TO HELL

5/7/2010 11:47:42 AM

TO HELL WITH THE WHORES

5/7/2010 11:48:32 AM

^^^^^

well that is the point of the thread, is "feeling right" the time to move in? Or is there a reason to wait until a specific time length.




[Edited on May 7, 2010 at 11:48 AM. Reason : ^]

5/7/2010 11:48:47 AM

LOUD NOISES

5/7/2010 11:48:52 AM

i'd like to live with someone before i marry them too

i know a couple right now who was soooo happy before marriage, didn't live together and now after a few months of marriage they are miserable and can't stand each other. the girl is always complaining about the guy being messy, leaving his shit out, making her do all the house work, etc, etc.

these are things that i would find it helpful to know before committing to someone for the rest of my life. HOWEVER i feel like if you get married you should also PROBABLY have some sort of inclination that something like this could happen because its not like you date someone for 7 years and then they morph into a different person RIGHT when you get married and move in together (i mean that does happen but i don't think it is the majority of the time).

5/7/2010 11:50:15 AM

Fumbler lived with me off and on for most of the time we were dating (started in oct 2001) until he graduated a semester ahead of me and moved. i moved back to RM in dec 2005 (same town he moved to) and we didn't live together again until we got married last june. i think it's a good idea to live with someone before you're married.

my friend at work dated his gf for 8 years and they lived together only the last 18 months. they broke up and now hate each other.

5/7/2010 11:50:50 AM

Never

My open door dump ritual is too sacred

5/7/2010 11:51:04 AM

yea I won't date a girl unless she will shit in front of me

5/7/2010 11:56:10 AM

ew gross i think you need to draw the line somewhere

5/7/2010 11:57:13 AM

I'm in the bathroom when she pees

She's in the bathroom too when a nigga doo doo

5/7/2010 11:57:31 AM

ahaha

i was just about to post that

5/7/2010 11:58:19 AM

i don't mind a girlfriend dumping. i just don't want her talking about it like hambrosia

5/7/2010 12:07:55 PM

I think it's fine whenever you realize you're in it for the long haul and you have a stable relationship. How long that takes is obviously going to be very different for different couples. But I'd want to live with someone before getting engaged, because it does change things in some ways, and that could be for better or worse. So I think it either helps confirm that you're with the right person or makes you realize you aren't before you've made a $$ commitment to them (marriage or engagement ring or whatever).

In my experience it just gets to where it seems to make sense. You're spending all your time together, it's better financially to split bills than each pay separate rent, you don't have to coordinate every day to figure out where you're staying, etc. But you both have to actually WANT it. And don't do anything stupid like buying a house together or having one person get rid of all their possessions or something, because then if it doesn't work out someone gets screwed.

5/7/2010 12:08:22 PM

I met Joe in February and told him I wasn't planning on living w/ a dude before marriage.

In June, I moved in to a 540 sq foot apt and a month later realized all of his stuff was there and that he never left..... I figured we lived together when all of our clothes broke the closet.

We never discussed it or anything but I figure if we could live in that apt almost two years and not murder each other, we were good to go.

Which we are - Married 1.5 years. Together - 4.5

5/7/2010 12:08:55 PM

I've done it. It didnt last too long (9ish months) but I don't regret it. I've matured a lot since that situation. I would probably do it again.

5/7/2010 12:11:08 PM

Quote :

"I have seen people wait years to move in together and it fuck up within a few months. Others I know moved in together after a few weeks and are married to this day."

It all depends on your level of compromise.

Quote :

"so, ladies, if you want it to work, move in with him and then forget to take your birth control next thing you know, you'll be preggers and he'll feel obligated to put a ring on it "

I feel obligated to write the parody, "If you're preggers then he's gonna put a ring on it".

5/7/2010 12:11:54 PM

I lived with my wife for a few years before we got married. It helped make sure we were compatible. Been married for almost 5 years now.

5/7/2010 12:12:06 PM

Haha, it seemed like a good idea when I was 19. (bad idea)

5/7/2010 12:14:11 PM

Also, in these trying times, it makes fiscal sense to move in sooner than later.

5/7/2010 12:15:02 PM

I feel like it would take some of the fun out of getting married.

5/7/2010 12:16:32 PM

did some stints living together, things turned out ok, (one very small place for about 4 months), we'll be good to go in a few months again as well I think.

5/7/2010 12:16:33 PM

My husband and I dated for a little over a year before we moved in together, but we had known each other for something like 2 years.

We shared a room in a two bedroom townhouse and had a roommate for the first year that we lived together. We chose to have a roommate because we didn't want either of us to be stuck trying to carry the rent and other bills if we broke up. That had happened to him with his previous girlfriend.

After a year with a roomie, we decided to get a place of our own. After living just the two of us for 2 years, we got married.

5/7/2010 12:17:40 PM

I just moved into a new place with my girlfriend (dating for 14 months).

5/7/2010 12:22:25 PM

bmel said:

Quote :

"I feel like it would take some of the fun out of getting married."

Ought not marry for the fun of it in the first place.

5/7/2010 12:24:43 PM

ive been dating a girl for 6 months now, and about 2 months ago we did the same realization that i was already spending most of my personal time over at her place with her, and we both work a lot so it's certainly convenient to be in the same place, but you also have to go at it with the idea that it's part of the progression toward pretty much getting married or whatever you call what you have with your s/o that is a long term commitment, etc. it's as much a smart fiscal decision for both of us as it is a convenience to our already great relationship. but i think you have to approach it from arms-length at first and really think about if you can put up with that person when there literally is no personal space/escape from that person like you're used to having.

the other thing is ive had a female roommate for the past 3 years, so im already broken in to their mysterious ways

5/7/2010 12:27:21 PM

It actually made marrying a lot less stressful because we didn't have to plan a wedding, honeymoon, and try to merge households.

However, it does not save you from any wedding jitters. I thought that I was going to run, pass out, vomit, and gosh knows what else right before I walked down the aisle.

5/7/2010 12:27:38 PM

yes as long as she's with y'all having a "game room"/office as the second bedroom...

my girl is, anyway

5/7/2010 12:28:37 PM

I love living with my boyfriend. I think it helps that we have similar hobbies and habits and the same group of friends. We moved in after dating for sixish months. I knew he was "the one" by the time I decided to move to Greensboro and figured it was silly to continue the back and forth. We do have an almost unusually good relationship, though, with plenty of communication, trust and commitment. It might sound cheesy, but this is the first place since I've moved from my parent's house that really felt like "home," and I feel like he (well, and the dog and all the friends we take care of) are the reason why.

Plus by moving in together, our apartment became the hang out location by default! Its been great.

5/7/2010 12:47:59 PM

Quote :

"I figured we lived together when all of our clothes broke the closet. "

My friend and I came home one day and this had happened to her closet, which was huge. It was comical sight

5/7/2010 12:48:34 PM

We had dated 5 months when we decided to move in together...actually found a place and moved in 6 months after that
I was all "no living together b4 marriage" until I met Justin
we lived together for 2.5 years then he proposed
married 10 months later
will be married for a year next month

I will say that 6-8 months after moving in together we had the biggest fight of our relationship...balancing the load and getting adjusted to living together was the cause of our fight. It brought us closer in finding that balance of togetherness and independence.

And we had a pretty heavy year just being married...if we had just moved in together and I had been laid off I can't imagine the stress we would be in right now

5/7/2010 1:00:27 PM

i suppose knowing i'm going to have to be the clean one and such helps,

5/7/2010 1:02:33 PM

This subject just got broached in my current relationship.

I'm in the process of buying my first house, and my GF is the only person (other than my mom) who is against it. One night last week she finally goes, "well why don't I just get rid of one my roommates and you move in (she owns her own house)." To which I replied, "because I want my own fucking house!" She really couldn't reply with anything. She sees it as a backwards move in our relationship...a lateral move at best.

I'm not against living with a gf. I think you should definitely do it before getting married to the significant other. But I also think it's a step towards marriage. Although I can see myself being married to this girl, I don't plan on it happening any time soon, and I see it more as a "possibility" than a "probability". So until I say, "I'm going to ask this girl to marry me soon", there's no way I'm living with a girlfriend.

I have lived with girls just as roommates and would do that again in a heartbeat. Probably going to get a girl as a roommate in the new house.

5/7/2010 1:05:12 PM

Quote :

"Probably going to get a girl as a roommate in the new house."

oh my

if your gf's feathers are already ruffled

this might make things even worse

5/7/2010 1:06:53 PM

Quote :

"§ 14-184. Fornication and adultery. If any man and woman, not being married to each other, shall lewdly and lasciviously associate, bed and cohabit together, they shall be guilty of a Class 2 misdemeanor: Provided, that the admissions or confessions of one shall not be received in evidence against the other. (1805, c. 684, P.R.; R.C., c. 34, s. 45; Code, s. 1041; Rev., s. 3350; C.S., s. 4343; 1969, c. 1224, s. 9; 1993, c. 539, s. 119; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 24, s. 14(c).)"

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/enactedlegislation/statutes/html/byarticle/chapter_14/article_26.html

5/7/2010 1:07:30 PM

Quote :

"FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS"

5/7/2010 1:08:03 PM

Quote :

"oh my if your gf's feathers are already ruffled this might make things even worse"

Depends on whether or not the girl roommate will be attractive. While I will say that she can be quite jealous...she's also has a decent amount of common sense. If I get a non-loooker/fatty...then she knows she'll have no reason to worry. Unless it's an amazon woman where there's a potential for rape.

5/7/2010 1:18:07 PM

AHAHAAHAHA

yes, okay, definitely get an ugly roomie then

5/7/2010 1:23:12 PM

Looks will not be a factor (although large people kind of repulse me, so I'll steer away from fatties).

I just want someone who is clean and responsible. I'm going to interview all my potential roommates though...so hopefully I can avoid the common roommate problems.

5/7/2010 1:25:28 PM

Josh and I had a very attractive roommate, but he was in no way interested in her because she was a "crazy bitch." He got to see her naked on a somewhat regular basis because she was a naked nut and I was cool with that.

5/7/2010 1:25:39 PM

after reading this thread I packed up all ScHpEnXeL's stuff and changed the locks

5/7/2010 1:26:03 PM